Hi there people I'm a new user and I need some answer I had a relationship with a guy for 5yrs we broke up 7months ago but continue with a on and off relationship now its getting to the point where I don't want that anymore I still get I love you,I miss you I really do want to be with you but there just words and I said that they come cheap and actions speak louder so when I say prove he says he will be never does we do have disagreements and most time they turn into arguments but there so little it annoys me so much,so anyway my ex can't make a commitment and we haven't spoken in days my questions are,

1)Has he moved on for good?
2)Does he love me?
3)How do I win him back?
4)If he calls me do I play hard to get?

Thank you xox

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Originally Posted by BaByGaL3

Hi there people im a new user and i need some answer i had a relationship with a guy for 5yrs we broke up 7months ago but continue with a on and off relationship now its getting to the point where i dont want that anymore i still get i love you,i miss you i really do want to be with you but there just words and i said that they come cheap and actions speak louder so when i say prove he says he will be never does we do have disagreements and most time they turn into arguements but there so little it annoys me so much,so anyway my ex can't make a committment and we havnt spoken in days my questions are,

1)Has he moved on for good?
2)Does he love me?
3)How do i win him back?
4)If he calls me do i play hard to get?

Thank you xox

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OK so I know exactly how you feel only I'm knocked up lol.
5 years is a long time. Just think about it this way are you sadder when your without him or more stressed when your with him? It just depends on how it wieghs. And don't worry about the fighting sweetie every one fights, getting through them is what makes us stronger.

You are right. Actions speak louder than words, or even better... "Only go with the actions."

So, based on that and discounting anything that is said to you, I believe you can answer your questions pretty easily:

1)Has he moved on for good? No, you keep letting him drift back and cause you (each other) more needless grief. You two NEED to move on for good, but you're treating each other like a bad habit that can't be kicked.

2)Does he love me? Since we ignore words and go with actions, the most accurate answer... no, not really. But he IS used to talking to you. That's not love, that's habit.

3)How do i win him back? (*Sigh*) How do you win back full-time a guy that makes you miserable? What a great goal. OK, call him and tell him it doesn't matter how he treats you, what he does, whether he stays faithful or not, what he does to you emotionally, ANYTHING... tell him you will be his girl and let him do whatever he wants any time he wants. That should do it. Won't that be a fun relationship?

4)If he calls me do i play hard to get? (*sob*) You can't trick him into being a better match for you than he is. You "might' trick him into giving you more of this wonderful quality time (sarcastic tone), but you gain nothing long term, except misery.

Your off/on relationship now is just booty-call time, probably for both of you, so don't blame him, you're doing it, too.

He has definitely turned his serious attentions elsewhere, you've just kept the door open to let him "release" every now and then. That is and will be the total of your relationship for as long as you let it.

4)If he calls me do i play hard to get? (Part 2) YES!! You should play IMPOSSIBLE to get... impossible to get on the phone, on the IMs, and absolutely impossible to get in bed. Get serious with your life. You will always like this guy, but SO WHAT? After 6 years it's got you HERE, asking strangers how to make him love you more than he does.

It isn't going to happen. Enjoy your memories of him, but go make some new memories with a guy who may just be looking for a girl to give his all to. It ain't this old guy.

Ok hi everyone,
Well I'm in love and have been for 5yrs with this most amazing and wonderful guy the only thing is we split up last July (7months ago) till now and well over that hard and horrible 7moths we have had contact nearlly every week or every month how ever it turns out and well he's never once said I don't want to be with you, its always been me bcos I want a PERMANENT relationship he agrees but no actions happen on his behalf I always get I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU but there words to me and words come cheap and he knows that's how I feel, sooo back again he hasn't spoken to me in 5days after we had a disagreement what's going on with him I received a $300 necklace for my birthday which was in nover and we were on and off then I know he loves me but I had waiting around and looking at my phone and getting disappointed but I WANT MY EX BF BACK!!

Why hasn't he called?
Has it been all lies?


I know he speaks to his mum about us/and our relationship and she even told me we are meant to be bcos we always come back to each other but then something clicks then BAMM back to normal no contact again. Last week he even wanted a fresh start and for me to move back in with him,whay say that then not contact me after our disagreement for 5days.

Should I play hard to get and not give in to him I'm sick of being a puppet on a string but he knows and thinks ill always be there when he wants/calls.

All advise please what should I do. NO IM NOT GOING TO MOVE ON/GET OVER HIM!
Its too hard!

Why don’t people leave out important information? What did you originally break up for?

I don’t know what is going on with your ex-boyfriend and I don’t think you should be waiting around to find out.

Real men are very assertive if they want something they go out and try to get it. It seems to me that you are sending out the signal that you are ready for the taking and he is not coming over that and taking you.

You are getting mixed signals which mean he has doubts about being with you.

What was this disagreement about that made him stop calling you? There could be something in that which turned him off.

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all advise please what should I do. NO IM NOT GOING TO MOVE ON/GET OVER HIM!
Its too hard!

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Then he will keep making you miserable, and if that's love to you, Hope you enjoy it, and quite complaining. Otherwise wake up, and disappear from his life, and get one that makes you happy.

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Originally Posted by BaByGaL3

Ok hi everyone,
well im inlove
contact nearlly every week or every month
i want a PERMANENT relationship he agrees but no actions happen on his behalf
i always get I LOVE YOU i MISS YOU but there words to me and words come cheap
i know he loves me but i had waiting around
WANT MY EX BF BACK!!!

why hasnt he called?
has it been all lies?


back to normal no contact again.
im sick of being a puppet on a string but he knows and thinks ill always be there when he wants/calls.

NO IM NOT GOING TO MOVE ON/GET OVER HIM!!
Its too hard!

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I broke your question down to key words/partial sentences. Read it that way and see how it sounds to you. Does that sound like someone that loves and misses you? Mature love requires trust and respect, and it seems that neither of you have either of those things for each other. If you love someone, you don't just call 'once a week or month' or so!

You answered your own question in your last 2 lines. He isn't calling you on a regular basis because you are LETTING HIM treat you like a puppet on a string! He knows that you will be there, and he can get away with almost anything. You said that "no I'm not going to move on" and he absolutely knows that!

If you keep on letting him call the shots, you are in for a whole lot of heartbreak girl. You sound like you are young, so you have plenty of time. Move on and find a guy who wants to call you back the minute he hangs up the phone, and just can't wait to see you everyday! DON'T settle for Mr. "whenever I feel like it"! Trust me, you'll be a lot happier if you do. If you don't, well all I can say is good luck to you.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Then he will keep making you miserable, and if thats love to you, Hope you enjoy it, and quite complaining. Otherwise wake up, and disappear from his life, and get one that makes you happy.

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Thanks but its not COMPLAINING I asked a question and I wanted a answer and I got it from people in my situation THANKS but don't answer then next time.

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Originally Posted by BaByGaL3

Thanks but its not COMPLAINING i asked a question and i wanted a answer and i got it from people in my situation THANKS but dont answer then next time.

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If there is a next time, then you learned nothing from this experience, and your welcome anytime. :cool:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If there is a next time, then you learned nothing from this experience, and your welcome anytime. :cool:

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Haha typical answer coming from like yourself what does your life involve coming on here all day and night checking to see if your answers were any help well there NOT! Hahaha your welcome to lovley xoxo kmfa!

I got to ask... how old are you? How old is he?

I think the forum disagrees with you... seeing as he's the "relationship expert"

Babygal, with all do respect. Tal has been one of the best supporters of EVERYONE on this forum. If it wasn't for him being so brutally honest, I wouldn't be where I am today. I would still be that poor sap who is going around crying, texting, calling my ex about wanting her back. His, along with many others, have gotten me back to my old self. So his advice on this forum, is taken very highly by pretty much everybody!

He is right, if you enjoy pain, suffering, crying, constantly being used by him. Continue on the path you are on. If you want to be better, start smiling all the time... Listen to his, and our advice. NO CONTACT

Babygal,

It you're are going to ask a question on here, be prepared for answers! Just because Tal didn't give you the answer that YOU wanted to hear, doesn't give you the right to to reply in such a rude disrespectful way!

I think we all know that you will most likely stay with this 'boy' anyway, and people that have had more experience were trying to show you the reasons it will end up hurting more in the end if you do. So I don't know why you asked the 'question' in the first place! You already had your mind made up!

I thank you all for your very kind words, and we all know the pain and confusion, she is going through. Is she mad enough to come back? Hope so.

I hope she does come back as well. Because I know what pain she must be going through as we all do and it would be a shame for her to go through it all alone.

Here's just another suggestion that might work for you Babygal.

Call him and text him as often as you can, day and night!
Follow him wherever he goes just in case he needs you.
If you can't find him, call his friends and family to see if they know where he is.
If that doesn't work, go to his workplace.

Follow these steps everyday, and in the end you will be ensured a restraining order and your problem will be solved!

Now, of course I am joking, but you really do need to set up no-contact with him. I know it's a hard thing to do, but if you stay with him you will surely regret it. If he really does love you he'll come back around at a later date, but until then, explore your other options.

Believe me, this isn't my first rodeo, girl! Some of us can see around corners that you don't even know are there yet!

Some people don't want to change, they don't actually believe they deserve better in life, they wrap their mind around some image of a guy and then just sit there... miserable, but exactly where they want to be.

Sometimes they get a glimmer of hope and ask strangers on a forum how things could be better. Then they get the answer and see that it involves them changing their own situation.

They don't want to do that. Whining, complaining, whatever you want to call it... that's the closest they will ever come to "working" on this problem. They're going to stay right where they are, doing exactly what they've done.

And in truth, regardless of what they say, it's what they really want. So, after reading through this whole thread a second time, I realize BabyGal isn't actually interested in doing anything different, she just wanted to voice her pain.

She has, we've heard, we know she could do better, but she doesn't... and she won't. It's sad, but it's honest.