My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. He is out of the country, but I have always wondered... Whenever we have sex, he controls his orgasms. I guess he controls them.. The only way he will "let go" is when I give him oral sex and even with that he gets embarrassed and doesn't all the way. Is that weird? One time he told me that he doesn't want to because he cums a lot. I have never had the chance to see it :( I want to so bad! I would LOVE to see him climax. Our sex is great! I just want him to feel the maximum!! He also makes the excuse of "I don't want you to get pregnant!" Don't even say he is cheating on me because I KNOW he is not. That's no doubt in my mind. I just want to know why he would be embarrassed of finishing with me. It would actually be pleasing to me to see him climax. I have also asked him if he masturbates, and he denies it! It's really funny actually. I mean c'mon, even I masturbate. HAHA! He is 25. I am 21, my sex drive is a lot higher than his, but boy I love having sex with him. I just wish he would feel the best he can. Is it something I am doing wrong? Or maybe it's a fear he has? I also worry because someday I want to have kids :) I need his goodies to have a baby... He's really cute how he can be embarrassed about that, I mean jeez! I know every freckle of his body... I wonder if I can MAKE him... without him controlling it woo that would be awesome. Any suggestions or comments?

First off if he can control his ejaculation that well I would say he is more of a god than a man. Ha, I would wonder if he is drinking before sex a lot. If so some men have trouble reaching climax after they have been drinking. If he only climaxes in your mouth than mabey that is what turns him on and he needs that to reach orgasm. As far as holding some back during ejaculation... I think that would be a first...
I am no expert... this is only an opinion.
Mike

Some men can control their climax a LITTLE but I have yet to know a man that can do it for as long as needed. I would say a lot of it has to do with him not wanting to get you pregnant... even with birth control and condoms there is still a chance you know. That idea scares a LOT of men. About the masturbating... not all men do it, I have a lot of guy friends and we know a lot about each other and my roommate hasn't masturbated for 5 years. It can happen. But also, he could be lying because he is ashamed that it's something bad. How was he raised, is he catholic?

I am sure when he does with oral, that is what there is, most likely he is self conscience thinking he should be doing more ( most likely he has watched some stupid porn that gives a very poor idea of what he should really be doing.

I have never heard of being able to hold it back, no, my honest opinoin, but it is just that, he is not completing for some reason, and when he does with oral, that is all he has but most likely wants you to think there is something more.

You and he needs to serious talk about this, maybe he will open up and talk to you about what is going on

He needs to get a clue. He's blessed with a woman who is interested and excited about taking him completely over the top.

Holding back on an orgasm is fine for longevity... but there's a point when you have got to let go, especially with a woman as open minded as you are. Not all women want to see their man masturbate or would like to see him ejaculate with oral.

And holding back with oral? OK.. I'm fine with whether you can take at mouth or in hand... at mouth feels better, but oral is good no matter... but please? He won't ejaculate or limits it, is what I'm getting from your post... OK... an orgasm without ejaculation is like eating great food and then spitting it out.

Maybe somewhere along the way some girl complained and that's a mental hangup. Well you are not that girl. He needs to buy a clue.

The issue about pregnancy can be real. Even birth control isn't 100% with "perfect" use. So if he's not wearing a condom and you aren't on birth control, I get the mental block.

But this guy seems shy about sex for some reason. Not always good to talk about past loves, but maybe that's the problem? Some girl complained and now it's a mental problem?

The pregnancy thing however... seems like maybe that's a real concern?

He isn't being totally honest, for whatever reason. He may not be as perfect as you are. Or as comfortable.

If you want to make your man explode, you will have to catch him by surprise in a surprising place with surprising dialogue... :D

Maybe the way I approached him before embarrassed him.. I've tried to kid around so the mood isn't so "serious." I have asked him if he just doesn't like the sex, but he gets kind of mad and tells me that he likes it, and it's really good, but he doesn't want me to get pregnant. I just wish he would let go. But oh well... if that's TRULY the reason, at least he is looking out for me, right? I have also asked him if there was something else he would like to try. When we first started having sex, we would have sex at the craziest times. I'm talking even in the bathroom at his uncle's house while they were watching a movie, and one time we had sex in the same room while his cousin was asleep, maybe they're not too crazy but now it's just in the BED. (How boring) Actually, I think it arouses him more to be in a weird place... I remember in our apartment we had sex on the stairs... he seemed to really like that... maybe I should try to approach him in spontanious places... where he doesn't expect it.. I feel like he really likes the sex when he knows that someone can "walk in" or something... is that strange? He's so weird! But I love him to death. I just want him to be sexually satisfied 1000%. Maybe I think about sex 2 much. He tells me that too! Lol I just laugh. I'm still young, I want to have fun. So what! :p

Birth control, absolutely necessary! Then the fun can continue. That's what he has been saying all along.

First of all, you need to let him know that you want him to reach ejaculation. Say this in a
Sincere way and loving way, when said properly it has the most amazing affect on men. I myself was initially afraid of ejaculating with my wife, when we first met. Oral sex at the time was rare, and yes I did the same, refused to ejaculate; for a fear of not lasting. I can control my ejaculations now, but it took my wife the courage of letting me know that she wants to completely satisfy me to the point of ejaculating. Oral sex is more sensual and arousing to men, I mean c'mon. No man has never refused oral sex, but that's not the case here. Your hubby just doesn't want to explode in you. "how would he know he has alot of juice, if he hasn't exploded. Letting him know that you want him to explode with you, reasure him that it really is okay. Also let him know that "Damn YOU WANT HIS MAN JUICE" and you want it in a loving way. Reasurance is the key, he will around soon, letting him know you want a little taste... in your mouth, might be what the doctor ordered.

Try it, doesn't hurt at all.:)