Im a consistently employed black man with a salary of just under 40k a year. My wife is hispanic and has lost focus on our kids and our marriage she goes out every weekend for the last 8 weeks dancing but even before clubbing I was telling her that she is not the Mother she was with our kids as she was with her 18 year old daughter. I been with her for 11 years and married 10. She has a lover and leaves the house to go spend the night with him every night. She tells me she is going to leave and take the kids and because of that she not helping with the major bills like mortgage, oil etc, because as far as I am concerned was given the money to buy the house from my late mother. (so I'm not leaving with out a fight) should I fight for custody? I pick the girls up from the bus stop I fed them and help them with their homework,teaching them math we spend quality time together planting seeds playing ball watching shows, even baking, Its like I'm the woman! Our kids are 9 and 6 years old and girls. Are the courts dead set against me because she is the mom?


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No they aren't dead set against you. The courts are swinging over to what's best for the children and they aren't seeing being with the mom as always the best option. But they are still leaning that way.

However, if you can document that she is cheating on your and not caring for the kids, you stand a decent chance of getting physical custody.

You can ask her since you seem to be the primary care giver of the kids
Because she seems to not have time for them how does she figure she is going to manage to take care of them if she takes them with her when she leaves.
You need to start writing down everything you do for the kids because she doesn't
Everything she is doing that takes away from her kids.
That you want primary custody.
Then get a lawyer to help figure the most pro active way that you can go about keeping the kids and house when she leaves.
Not doing anything could result in her up and taking off with the kids and then it may be harder for you to get them back. Then at best if you couldn't get them back, you would be looking at paying child support and joint custody. From what I have seen the Judges tend to go with primary custody to the one the children are with unless you can really prove different to the Judge.

Really you need to be proactive if you want your children to stay in your life and one way at this time is to go and file paperwork if your situation is truly over. Children are a lot more adept at seeing the writing on the wall and if mom is running around then you have some very hard decisions to make. Sorry to put it that way but if you file first and get your words out there first then it may carry more weight then trying to play catch up on things she may accuse you of. You need to talk to a lawyer right away. Im sorry that life has delt you a blow like this but its time to act and not wait around to react. As far as getting custody no one can tell you for sure what might happen in a court room but it sounds like you have more then a fair chance but make sure to aide you caus by keeping the records and the bills etc. DO NOT overstate your situation to the courts and don't disrespect mom in front of the kids ever!! Good Luck