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-   -   I broke up with him but want him back now! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=194361)

  • Mar 13, 2008, 06:19 PM
    Tracy8729
    I broke up with him but want him back now!
    I just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months because we only saw each other once a month and talked maybe 2 to 3 times a week, for no good reason. A month or two earlier I had already told him I didn't like it, he promised it would change. We were pretty serious but I just couldn't take never talking to or seeing him anymore. I wrote him a little letter that basically said you don't ever make time for me so f-you go to hell. I wrote him that letter because two weeks earlier I had called him to talk about this to see if we could fix it, again. I couldn't tell him everything that night so he said he would call me back in a few days so I could think and then we could talk. He didn't call so 4 or 5 days later I called him and he said he would call me back that night and he promised. He didn't call back so every day for a week I called him, he never answered or returned my calls. Then the next week I called again and his phone said it was out of service. So that's when I gave him that letter. I feel pretty bad for that letter but was I wrong for what I said? Worst of all after all this I still love him and want him back so what do I do?
  • Mar 13, 2008, 06:41 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Seems to me that it's a mistake on both of your parts... he may have not responded to you because he knew you two would fight, and you kept contacting him over and over because you were frustrated.

    There's no knowing how he feels about you until you contact him...

    How long has it been since the breakup? How far do you live from one another? There's a chance that even if you want to get back with him, he won't want to... in that case, got to let it go. What makes you think the old problems won't resurface again?
  • Mar 13, 2008, 06:47 PM
    Lixue-Sebille 3
    I've been through this before. I just dumped my boyfriend and well, I never did find someone after that. O_o never mind. Keep calling him! ^_^
  • Mar 13, 2008, 06:51 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Whoa. Easy on the "keep calling him."

    You can call him once or twice to see where his mind's at... but if he doesn't seem interested or isn't even picking up your calls and isn't returning your messages... continuing to call him will result in him hating you for it and MAY also earn you the "crazy ex" label... which in turn comes with a complimentary restraining order.

    Call him up to see where his head's at... if he doesn't seem the least bit interested, then move on. If he doesn't pick up, leave a message. If he doesn't return your message within a week or two, call him once more. That's it.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 06:53 PM
    Lixue-Sebille 3
    Lol, never mind on the keep calling there. *falls over* Maybe you should find someone you can be able to see frequently.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 07:12 PM
    talaniman
    The message is clear, he ain't changing for you, and isn't man enough to say he doesn't care, to your face. Disappear from his life, and thank him, for freeing you, to be happy at last.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 07:20 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Along with moving on (you've burned this bridge, honey), get a grip on yourself. If a girl ever, ever, EVER spoke or wrote to me in that manner, she would be dead to me.

    Your letter was a complete mistake, and a mean one, too. You should excise that from your personality forever. Even if he deserved it, which I would debate that he didn't, you just don't do that to people.

    Whatever the message you have to give to someone, especially people you are close to, deliver the message as if your 5 year old daughter was listening to every word. That should make you more civil. Don't be the bad guy by doing something like that again.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:05 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Ah. The ambivalence of a relationship...

    The guy did mess up in that he didn't call when he was supposed to. He def copped out when he should have "manned up" and just talked to her.

    The girl messed up in that she should have written a mature letter... doing things out of anger never helps anything.

    I feel like they burned the bridge at both ends equally.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:06 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jiltedgrl
    Word. You do NOT want the "crazy ex" label. He's not worth it.

    ... speaking from experience jilted? ;)
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:10 PM
    jiltedgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    ...speaking from experience jilted? ;)

    Hahaha. Perhaps... :o

    Whatevs. He/They should feel flattered for the attention... :rolleyes:
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:11 PM
    jiltedgirl
    I think people should bridges more often.

    It saves time and energy of trying to go back.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:26 PM
    confused25
    Sounds to me like they both lit the match that burned the bridge. The thing that people forget though is that bridges can be rebuilt.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:31 PM
    butterflyforever
    Yes confused but only if they really want it.. in this case he clearly does not... NEXT
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:35 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Quote:

    jiltedgirl disagrees: She wrote that letter out of frustration because he just wasn't THERE. He took her for granted. He doesn't call when he says he will. She was the only one trying to make the relationship work. He should be the one "dead" to her.
    You lost me... what in my post are you disagreeing with? You just state why she did it, and we all know why. My post stated that people who write f--- off letters to me would be dead to me... I suggest that being civil is always a better approach.

    You disagree with that? <chuckle> Interesting... interesting forum name, too.
  • Mar 13, 2008, 10:41 PM
    confused25
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by butterflyforever
    yes confused but only if they really want it.. in this case he clearly does not...NEXT

    I absolutely agree with you. In order for "bridges" to be rebuilt both people have to really want it to happen. I just don't want people developing such a pessimistic outlook on the situation. A relationship can end badly, but that doesn't mean that someday in the future it can't be mended.

    In this situation though I agree. He clearly is not doing enough to keep the relationship going. So in that case it's time to cross him off the list and call out "NEXT!"
  • Mar 14, 2008, 07:30 AM
    talaniman
    I hardly think a reddie was necessary, No matter whose side your on. They both behaved badly, so not a good mix, for whatever reason. She is hardly a victim, or completely innocent. She has shown herself to be nasty if she wants to be, hmmm, she gets mad, he gets gone. He gets gone, she gets mad. An old story.
  • Mar 14, 2008, 10:31 AM
    JBeaucaire
    This is also the second time I've seen someone "disagree" with a post and then not accurately tell what they disagree with IN the post. Most of my post was about how I would react to someone doing that to me... and she disagreed. Funny stuff.

    Reminds me of that old joke... two guys bump into each other on the street and rapidly have the following interaction:

    Guy 1: "Hey, I know you!"
    Guy 2: "You do?"
    Guy 1: "Yeah, wait a sec, let me think..."
    Guy 2: "Well, my name..."
    Guy 1: "No, I know it...it's...it's..."
    Guy 2: "...is Johnny."
    Guy 1: "No...that's not it."
  • Oct 23, 2008, 05:09 PM
    minicupcake
    I think you should move on because he's just going to end up doing the same thing over and over again you can find a new guy who lives closer to you and that actually has time for you
    You shouldn't want that guy back he is a jerk he doesn't treat you right if he loved you like you think he does he would make time to talk to you he can't possible be busy all the time like that unless he's cheating on you

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