I am being accused falsely of having an affair with a local pastor, he has resigned now (two weeks ago) I have been accused of kissing on his wife, I've been accused of being a whore. I have been married for 17 years, I did not do anything, We have recently put our home up for sale to move away from all this embarrassment. But waiting on it to sale, things have just got worse. Is there anyway at all to shut these peoples mouth? The pastor even tried accusing me to try to take the heat off his back instead it back fired on him and he had to resign. What do I need to do?

Once tongues start wagging there is nothing much you can do to shut them up. It is momentum. If you truly did not do this and you know within your heart the accusations are not true, why bother. Gossip will die down once its run its course and no longer fed into. The best thing you can do is mind your own business while you wait and turn up your nose at the gossip mongers.

Do you know who the true purpetrator is and how the blame got put on you ?

Yes I do, it was the pastor who got caught looking at me, admitted to liking me, that's when it all started. It has not died down, it's got worse, plus now since he has resigned
He has moved behind me into his moms house. So he's always in my face, this has been going on for about 6 months

Under the circumstances you can't do anything, gossip is gossip. If it was one person slandering you time and time again and you had proof it was happening then you do something.

Why is it such a big deal that he got caught looking at you and admitted to liking you. It is not a life commitment in any way shape or form and should not have got as far as you said. The person who he admitted it to is the real purpetrator here and probably the one who is spreading the news.

Your house is up for sale, as you said, just wait it out till you can move on from it if that is the way you want to handle it. Getting involved and denying anything only makes it worse and fuels the gossips.

I don't see a pastor steeping down from talk that had no truth in it, he would have merely gotton in the pulpit and told the people they were busy bodies and where spreading lies.

There has to be more to this for the pastor to actually quit.

Sorry but just can't see it happening the way you are saying

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Originally Posted by mrsgenas

I am being accused falsely of having an affair with a local pastor, he has resigned now (two weeks ago) I have been accused of kissing on his wife, i've been accused of being a whore. I have been married for 17 years, i did not do anything, We have recently put our home up for sale to move away from all this embarrassment. But waiting on it to sale, things have just got worse. Is there anyway at all to shut these peoples mouth? The pastor even tried accusing me to try to take the heat off his back instead it back fired on him and he had to resign. what do i need to do?

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I'm having a problem understanding this - you have been accused of having an affair with a pastor who resigned. You have also been accused of "kissing on" his WIFE?

He resigned; he's blaming you (for what? If it were true you'd be in the situation together), you are moving but none of this is true?

I don't know how you would shut up an entire town - if the Pastor has made untrue accusations I suppose you could sue him if you have proof and the accusations have caused you monetary loss but only an Attorney knows enough of the details to make that decision.

Confused -

I'm going to take a different tack here. In some cases the best defense is a good offense. First you are not being slandered by the church, but by a person affiliated with the church. I don't think you have any recourse against the church. But someone has accused you of adultery. If you have proof of who said what, then sue. Being forced to move due to this could be used as damages. At the very least it might shut people up if you are willing to that far in restoring your name.

I agree with Fr_Chuck. Something is missing from this story.

This is a fact, not a lie, actually it is the pastor who started spreading the lies against me,
He was trying to turn them against me and did, then after I left the church (in November last year) the church split in January. He was trying to take the heat off his back, calling me a whore, saying I was trying to entice him. I am 35 he is 60? He looks old and nasty, I hope I would touch him. I am not trying to lie, I have kids to protect, yesterday at school a parent came up to my child and started saying things to her that has been told to her.
So yes, I am upset, I want to move and get my children as far away from here as I can.
I am a victim, I do not know what all happened to cause the split I just know that in one area I was accused of adultry with him and someone else was too, but no one is telling, they gave him an ultamatum to leave or else, I do not talk to any of them I just know what some of the people who have left the church told me what happened. I just want them all to go away and leave me alone!:(

Again, why did the pastor all of a sudden start calling you names, was it because of the church split, was he attacking you for some revenve?

Again what was the part about kissing his wife ?

And in the end why would he confess to sleeping with you if he did not.

I am not saying it is not true but you are leaving out some big gaps here that need to be filled in.

In the end, I guess you can sue the pastor.

He did not admit to sleeping with me first of all, because we didn't. Last August I was on the praise team, I went over to him because he sings Tenor and I do too, I didn't know my part so I asked him to help me (this is what we always would do) We were great friends, His family and ours, or so I thought, but that night, He was seen looking at me ( they said he was checking me out) they didn't accuse us that night of having an affair, just that something wasn't right. The pastor then admitted that he was attracted to me to them, then later told me about it (in front of his wife). Me and his wife were best of friends, she believed us when we told her nothing happened. Well, I do not know what happened but,
He started ignoring me and I had to do the same, which made us look worse if you ask me. He said "not to let our good be evil spoken of" the next thing I know His wife had told him some stuff I had confided in her from 17 years ago and he went and told everyone, to make me look like a whore to take the heat off him. I ended up leaving, in November
Being "satan" himself. My reputation was ruined and I didn't even do anything. All I know is since I left, the church split, He was accused of having an affair, I ask him was it only me or was there someone else he was accused of? Today he told me there was someone else not only me. I found out yesterday about the accusation against me and his wife,
Which is sick, I just want everyone to leave me alone. Did I explain this any better this time?:confused:

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Originally Posted by mrsgenas

He did not admit to sleeping with me first of all, because we didn't. Last August I was on the praise team, I went over to him because he sings Tenor and I do too, I didnt know my part so I asked him to help me (this is what we always would do) We were great friends, His family and ours, or so I thought, but that night, He was seen looking at me ( they said he was checking me out) they didn't accuse us that night of having an affair, just that something wasn't right. The pastor then admitted that he was attracted to me to them, then later told me about it (in front of his wife). Me and his wife were best of friends, she believed us when we told her nothing happened. Well, I do not know what happened but,
he started ignoring me and i had to do the same, which made us look worse if you ask me. He said "not to let our good be evil spoken of" the next thing I know His wife had told him some stuff I had confided in her from 17 years ago and he went and told everyone, to make me look like a whore to take the heat off of him. I ended up leaving, in November
being "satan" himself. My reputation was ruined and I didn't even do anything. All I know is since I left, the church split, He was accused of having an affair, I ask him was it only me or was there someone else he was accused of? Today he told me there was someone else not only me. I found out yesterday about the accusation against me and his wife,
which is sick, I just want everyone to leave me alone. Did I explain this any better this time?:confused:

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No, I'm still pretty lost here but it sounds like whatever you did 17 years ago is what came back and condemned you now.

I'd stay away from the whole pack of them because it would appear that anything you do or try to do is only going to condemn you further in their eyes.