So, I was in a relationship with a guy for 1 1/2 years. We had a few 'breaks' during that time, but never officially 'broke up.' Things were going well for a few months, but some issues resurfaced in early Jan... he totally wigged out about it all... started 'sabotaging' 'us.' He started yelling at me a lot on the phone, un-hid and updated his personal ad, was talking in a chat room I was lurking in about finding a new girlfriend... Then, he emotionally withdrew and did not contact me for two weeks.

Basically, the issue was: I got sick, asked him for more support, he said he couldn't deal with my anxiety about things, and 'disappeared.'He came back, but never apologized for not being there while I was sick with a condition the doctors couldn't (and still can't) remedy.

Anyway, I called him after he hadn't contacted me for a while and said, 'Look, let's just say it's over. This relationship isn't feeling healthy to me right now. You seem to want that anyway.' He said he wasn't sure he wanted that, but also said 'I just can't make this work.'

Now, I'm wondering if I did the right thing.

Other factors: he has been in a deep depression since mid-Jan (untreated); he's been burned badly in his past by his ex; he tends to pull away and run when he feels like he loves/needs someone.

He told me on New Year's he was so in love with me.

I miss him madly... wish I hadn't 'burned the bridge.' It just felt crazy to me... like I was on a back burner, and my needs weren't being met, and he didn't even want to talk about it.

He's been so good to me sometimes in the very recent past. I have no idea what happened here. Why he emotionally abandoned me.

Any advice? I'm too close at this point to see things clearly...

It's understandable to be confused when someone says they love you, and then suddenly they don't act like it. It's called 'inconsistent.' It's a real mind f-ck, but he probably isn't doing it on purpose. He really might love you, in whatever way he can. But, it sounds like he sounds like he has some huge emotional problems. And you sound like a sensitive and loving person who reached her limit.

Let him go. Focus on you. You know you deserve better than what he has given you. Get yourself to a place where you can attract someone who will treat you right.

Treating you right means being there when you are sick. It's part of 'I love You.' It's the part that walks the talks.

Good luck.

You want clarity, love, and support? Stay away from his confusing chaos. Dramas are good on TV, but in real life, it sucks. He has issues he needs to deal with, so by all means let him, without you. You can do better, and if you love yourself, you'll be better. I would be sorry for your loss, but feel that after you have taken your life in another direction, you won't be sorry.