Hey my names courtney and I'm 17 my dad hit me with a belt Monday night and left marks on me I told the school and they called cys and put me on the "saftey plan" but it didn't help in fact it made my situation worse because this morning when I got up he told me tonight when I get off the bus he was going to hit me with a wooden board and wrap a blankett around it so it wouldn't leave a mark and if I told he would kill me I don't know what to do I'm scared to get off the bus there and go back I need info help me :(

Contact the police or social services. If your at school talk to your guidance councillor about this he or she should help you out. Just to let you know your father can not threaten you like that. Please make an action and do what I suggested. Please inform what was the out come.

You did the right thing so far. Now go back to the same school official and report this new threat. Tell them you are afraid to go home. They will find a place for you to stay temporarily until they can find a permanent solution.

Your father is a bully and an abuser. You need to get away from him and he needs to put away.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

You did the right thing so far. Now go back to the same school official and report this new threat. Tell them you are afraid to go home. They will find a place for you to stay temporarily until they can find a permanent solution.

Your father is a bully and an abuser. You need to get away from him and he needs to put away.

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Yeah but I'm scared they won't put me somewhere safe they will just dod the same thing they did yesterday and I'll be in more trouble when I get off the bus
I'm just really scared for my life and I told them that yesterday and they sent me back but I will try I mean I will take your advice but what do I do if they tell me to go home again?

If that's the case do you have a friend that you can go to?

From your description, I can understand their actions. Assuming you haven't reported an abuse previously, they acted appropriately. They opened an investigation with CYS and added you to a monitoring plan. Now you go back to them and tell them that this only made him angrier and he made more threats and that you just can't go back to him. I'm sure there are shelters you can go to. At 17 you are almost old enough to leave home, so you shouldn't have to spend too much time in the system.

You can try a research shelters on your own Search for shelters for battered and abused women in your local area. Do you go to church? You can try contacting your clergyman for help and referrals.

Grantsgirl - This is child abuse and child abuse is illegal, you're father cannot get away with this. Scottish and Scott gave you excellent advice, please report the latest threats so that CYS can find you a safe place to go.

Just one question. Where is your mother? Is she living with you and your dad, if not can you stay with her, or is she not able to take you in? Either way, you cannot stay in this home, it isn't safe.

Keep us updated so that we know you're okay.

Take care of yourself.

grantsgirl, you really just need to go tell the same people you told before the threats you father has made. They will help you find a place to go for now. You are 17 he should not be laying a gosh darn hand on you honey, you need to go use your voice, people will see you are scared, they will help you. If you can make a Plan B to go stay at a TRUSTED friends house, that would be great too! Hugs, I wish you well.

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Originally Posted by grantsgirl

hey my names courtney and im 17 my dad hit me with a belt monday night and left marks on me i told the school and they called cys and put me on the "saftey plan" but it didnt help in fact it made my situation worse because this morning when i got up he told me tonight when i get off the bus he was going to hit me with a wooden board and wrap a blankett around it so it wouldnt leave a mark and if i told he would kill me i dont know what to do im scared to get off the bus there and go back i need info help me :(

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Courtney, sorry to be such a cynic but the last time you posted it was because you wanted to leave your Dad's house and go back to your Mom (who apparently does not have legal custody of you) because you wanted to feel happy again - at that time you said your stepmother was abusing you. Very possibly I've been involved in too many of these cases and have developed a bad attitude.

Now it's your Dad.

I'm not saying this is not happening - maybe both of them are abusing you - but I'm not sure you aren't just trying to get back to your Mom's and saying whatever works.

I hope I'm wrong and people aren't spending time and getting upset over a made up situation.

If this is true - call the Police because this is too serious to continue posting on a thread, waiting for answers. Did you do anything after the last incident?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Courtney, sorry to be such a cynic but the last time you posted it was because you wanted to leave your Dad's house and go back to your Mom (who apparently does not have legal custody of you) because you wanted to feel happy again - at that time you said your stepmother was abusing you. Very possibly I've been involved in too many of these cases and have developed a bad attitude.

Now it's your Dad.

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Oh you cynic you ;) Damn, I was suspicious of this but I didn't think to check for other threads.

Courtney,
We don't like being played and neither does CYS. If they find you haven't been honest it will not go well with you. So I hope you are not trying to play us or your parents to get back with your mom. It just doesn't work that way.

You've been given the correct advice of what to do if you are really in danger. Please follow it and keep us posted.

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Originally Posted by grantsgirl

hey my names courtney and im 17 my dad hit me with a belt monday night and left marks on me i told the school and they called cys and put me on the "saftey plan" but it didnt help in fact it made my situation worse because this morning when i got up he told me tonight when i get off the bus he was going to hit me with a wooden board and wrap a blankett around it so it wouldnt leave a mark and if i told he would kill me i dont know what to do im scared to get off the bus there and go back i need info help me :(

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Again as the folks above have advised, remove yourself from the house for your own safety.

While I went through this very same thing as a teen, I played a roll in my removal by going to what they called a runaway center(I don't even know if they still exist?) The recovery process was full of court supervision and finally I was old enough,legally, to be on my own.

I did find a friends' family to take me in for a short term and get the initial anger down between my father and myself.Your whole life is ahead of you and you don't need this stress to be a part of your future, FIND HELP NOW!

If the school isn't responsive to your needs go to the police,clergyman,hospital, anywhere safe, other than home.

I,personally, hope to hear from you later on today to find what you plan on doing.

Ken

And not saying leaving a mark is right, but what did they do, I remember a 17 year old that came to my house to try and break the windows with a baseball bat and was beating on the front door with the bat when I got there. To say the least, a belt mark would have been the last of their problems by the time I got the bat away from them.

And of course if you accused him falsely of this, I may see where threating to beat you for real could come to mind, I most likely would have told you the same.

In the end, there is an entire story not being told, as to what you did to cause the use of a belt. ** if he really did as I also am not sure I really believe it.

First of let me say that I respect all of you and your opinions very much, so please don't get mad.

It is possible that Grantsgirl is telling us the truth, just because her other post stated that her step mom was abusing her doesn't mean that her father isn't. We have to base our advice on what the OP is asking, and I'm going to continue doing that.

Having said that, Grantsgirl, you better not be lying because I'm sticking my neck out for you by disagreeing with people that I greatly respect and trust. I'm going to stick to my original advice which is based on your description of the events.

Also, even if a child does do something bad, that is no reason to use a belt on them. If her dad is having trouble with her, which he might be, there are better ways to deal with them then to beat her.

Let me say that if this is all a hoax I'm with all of you 100%, I'm just not sure that she's not being truthful. If she is lying then I'm going to have a few choice words that I'm not allowed to use on this site.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

It is possible that Grantsgirl is telling us the truth, just because her other post stated that her step mom was abusing her doesn't mean that her father isn't. We have to base our advice on what the OP is asking, and I'm going to continue doing that.

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I wholeheartedly agree. We can't risk cutting Courtney off just on the suspision she is playing us. So I will continue to hope she gets the help she needs and continue to advise her how to deal with a situation where she is being abused. But she needs to understand she can't start making false accusations just because she doesn't get her own way.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I wholeheartedly agree. We can't risk cutting Courtney off just on the suspision she is playing us. So I will continue to hope she gets the help she needs and continue to advise her how to deal with a situation where she is being abused. But she needs to understand she can't start making false accusations just because she doesn't get her own way.

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I agree with you as well. Unfortunately we aren't there to see if what she's saying is true or false, it would be so much easier to give advice if my crystal ball wasn't on the fritz.

Until I learn otherwise I will hope that she's okay and that she takes our advice and gets help. If she is lying then hopefully the truth will come out and she will be punished accordingly.

In the meantime I'm sending my crystal ball to the shop to get fixed.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I agree with you as well. Unfortunately we aren't there to see if what she's saying is true or false, it would be so much easier to give advice if my crystal ball wasn't on the fritz.

Until I learn otherwise I will hope that she's okay and that she takes our advice and gets help. If she is lying then hopefully the truth will come out and she will be punished accordingly.

In the meantime I'm sending my crystal ball to the shop to get fixed.

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Awe what you said was nice. People are so quick to judge. We forget how lucky we are compared to what people are asking. I agree.
I will continue to help no matter what people might say. We only hear what gets posted and not see the real picture. It could be true right to the tea. Or then again it could all be false. But until other wise I will continue to help in anyway shape or form. I really hope she gets back to us about this situation.

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Originally Posted by Scottish2008

awe what you said was nice. People are so quick to judge. We forget how lucky we are compared to what people are asking. I agree.
I will continue to help no matter what people might say. We only hear what gets posted and not see the real picture. It could be true right to the tea. Or then again it could all be false. But until other wise I will continue to help in anyway shape or form. I really hope she gets back to us about this situation.

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In the event you are "speaking" to me - no, I never forget how lucky I am compared to what other people are asking. You have just been quick to judge me, the very thing you are complaining about.

And I never said "we" shouldn't help and I, in fact, tried to help by advising her to call the Police - get off the Internet and call the Police. I also gave her the same advice the last time she posted (when her stepmother hit her) and asked if she, in fact, called the Police at that time.

I personally find it odd that a 17 year old is so helpless when she's being abused; has time to get on line and post the question (where is she posting from? Aren't these sites blocked in most schools? She's sitting in class, on the Help Me forum?). Perhaps she's been very sheltered her whole life and has no idea where to turn.

As I recall she's in Pennsylvania and if anyone is terribly interested this whole story could be tracked backwards - someone is posting that a crime is being/has been committed and the authorities could get involved. I personally don't think it's worth it, I'm just saying it is possible. Enough info - name, State, agency - has been posted and I believe the Internet address can be tracked backwards.

I am also entitled to post my opinion - and I stated it just that way, an opinion, not a fact, a heads up, in fact - and you don't have to agree with me. Please don't criticize me when I have explained the reasons behind my opinion.

I don't think anyone is suggesting we not try to help. But if Courtney has not been completely forthcoming with us, then another type of help might be needed. Judy makes some very good points. Too many times we've had kids on here trying to lead us around for their own amusement. Courtney's posts do lend themselves for questioning and I don't think its fair to criticze anyone for asking those questions.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I don't think anyone is suggesting we not try to help. But if Courtney has not been completely forthcoming with us, then another type of help might be needed. Judy makes some very good points. Too many times we've had kids on here trying to lead us around for their own amusement. Courtney's posts do lend themselves for questioning and I don't think its fair to criticze anyone for asking those questions.

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And maybe my spin on this is that this is what I do for a living, most days, all day - I talk to people and trust my gut whether they are truthful, whether the pieces fit together, what they said yesterday, what they said today. Often I'm wrong, often I'm right. I suspect that the Police have the same instincts, although more finely tuned.

And somebody pays me to do it!

Guess I get non trusting, dealing with street people as much as I do now adays, all have a sob story and a line of lies to get pity, hard to tell when one actually tells the truth.

But I would like her to come back and explain in more detail what was happening, Seldom does a parent who has never been abusive just start. And even a well meaning parent can spank too hard by accident, so we do need to hear more on the details.