I feel really really dumb, I pretty much called my friend stupid for saying that she doubts she's going to college and is excited about getting a promotion at walgreens.

Should I just not say anything when she says things like this? I asked her if she seriously wanted to work at walgreens for the rest of her life and she just said that she wants to go to college but she has no idea what she wants to do so she sees college as a waste of money.

I feel like she's making up excuses, for example; I can't study, I'm not smart enough, I don't know what I want to do.

Should I even tell her my opinion about her not going to college? It's not like it's set in stone, but I don't know many people that are motivated enough to go back to school after a year off. I'm afraid because we're going in opposite directions.

This is the time of your life where you are transitioning from where you were, who you were, to where you're going to start becoming the future YOU. Sound confusing? Good, because it is.

But some people aren't ready for that and they stall. They grab onto and settle into a job, seeking comfort and stress reduction.

I know you view that as un-motivated and you're scared she won't escape it, and you may be absolutely correct. And that may be absolutely irrelevant. Why do I say this?

Hon, this is the time of change. As you step into your transitional period, friends you've been close to will reveal they aren't heading where you are. If you try to change them, you will simply end up hating each other.

Don't do that. Just don't let their lackluster transitional period stop your enthusiastic one. If you're heading off to college/career and activity and she's "jobbing" at Walgreens, you're best-friend relationship is already ending.

The worst that could happen is you focus energies on her and she convinces YOU to slow down. Now THAT would be sad.

Don't worry, keep her friendship, let her do what she wants, but you go full speed ahead. There are like-minded men/women waiting for you where you're going who will fill the best-friend slot quite nicely, let it happen.

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Originally Posted by rockerchick_682

I feel really really dumb, I pretty much called my friend stupid for saying that she doubts she's going to college and is excited about getting a promotion at walgreens.

Should I just not say anything when she says things like this? I asked her if she seriously wanted to work at walgreens for the rest of her life and she just said that she wants to go to college but she has no idea what she wants to do so she sees college as a waste of money.

I feel like she's making up excuses, for example; I can't study, I'm not smart enough, I don't know what I want to do.

Should I even tell her my opinion about her not going to college? It's not like it's set in stone, but I don't know many people that are motivated enough to go back to school after a year off. I'm afraid because we're going in opposite directions.

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To make amends, I would suggest that you go to your friend, apologize for hurting her feelings, ask her to forgive you for implying anything negative about her personally, then just explain that you have had high hopes that both of you would choose to go to college. I would also suggest that you share that you probably spoke out so strongly because you fear you are going in opposite directions and you would miss her if that happened.

Tell her that you truly just want her to be happy and that you hope that she gets the promotion she is hoping for at Walgreens. Continue then to just encourage her in her decisions. There may be many reasons she is not going to go to college, one being a situation with finances, parents, home situation, personal fears, anxiety, lack of direction at this time. She may not feel a freedom to share the base reason yet. Share with her that you choose college for yourself but as her friend, you will stand with her in any decisions she makes for her life and that her friendship is important to you.

You might be surprised how many people do enter college at an older age. Some people just need the break from classes, some need to mature, some are feeling that where they are right now is a good place and since she is expecting a promotion, she may be feeling that she has a real future later with Walgreens and that she will move up in the company, further than the local store. Each day brings changes. In a month, she may have changed her mind and choose college.

If you want to maintain the integrity of the friendship, sometimes you just have to be supportive and non-judgmental even if in your heart you know college would be best for her. We each have to reach decisions on our own. If she asks your opinion, you could share that you are just concerned for future job opportunities for you both and that you are aware that there are many jobs that you cannot even apply for without a college degree. I have a friend who majored in Home Economics and applied to be a Social Worker. Because she had a degree, no matter what it was in, she was able to apply and did end up a Social Worker with the State. She had her degree right out of high school and then married, worked for years, then had two children, raised them, then needed to go back to a job outside the home. Since she had her degree, it made it easier to get a better paying job. She could not have even gotten her foot in the door there otherwise.

My brother began college and graduated with honors after he had two children in school, but had a back injury and had to have rehabilitation from that and could not do his previous job. So college is always there for her if she chooses later.

After making amends, I probably would not even bring it up again or offer an opinion unless she asks questions.

Once words are spoken, one cannot take them back but if your friendship has a firm foundation, it is sure worth trying to mend it.

Best to you and your friend! :)

I think your friend is making a good decision because there are thousands of people running around with all sorts of degrees, owing student loans and unable to get a job in there field.
Then they end up as a stocker at WalGreens or Wal Marts any way.
Any more there is no job security and it is hard to find a job. I went to school for two years as a paralegal. When I started I saw all kinds of paralegal entry level jobs. Now that I graduated they all say they want someone with 3 months or more experience. I went to the job placement office where I went for my paralegal degree and all she did was look on Monster.com. So then she says, "Well, I see there is a McDonald's near your house that is hiring."