I met someone about 7 years ago. We became friends, dated and we both talked about kids and growing old together. I still love him very much; but about a year ago, he called me up and said that he didn't want to see me anymore. Just like that, our relationship was over. He told me that it was better for me. He said that he wasn't all that and that I should go on with my life. Needless to say, I was dumbstruck... completely in shock. I saw him a few months after he broke up with me and he said that he never felt good enough for me.

I feel at this point that I need to give you a little background on me and him.
I'm 5 years older than him, established financially and I have never been married and I have no kids. He has been married twice, has two kids, no house and is financially strapped all the time. I knew all of this when I met him and I accepted him as he was because I loved him. I never a pressured him for anything - whatever we did or didn't do, it didn't matter to me - I just wanted to spend time with him. He told me that he had never met anyone like me - someone he could completely be himself with.

After he broke up with me, I have never made an effort to contact him because I'm respecting his wish. He has on several occasions tried to contact me; but I don't respond. My question is: Do you think he still thinks about me?

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Originally Posted by WonderingAboutHim

I met someone about 7 years ago. We became friends, dated and we both talked about kids and growing old togehter. I still love him very much; but about a year ago, he called me up and said that he didn't want to see me anymore. Just like that, our relationship was over. He told me that it was better for me. He said that he wasn't all that and that I should go on with my life. Needless to say, I was dumbstruck ........... completely in shock. I saw him a few months after he broke up with me and he said that he never felt good enough for me.

I feel at this point that I need to give you a little background on me and him.
I'm 5 years older than him, established financially and I have never been married and I have no kids. He has been married twice, has two kids, no house and is financially strapped all the time. I knew all of this when I met him and I accepted him as he was because I loved him. I never a pressured him for anything - whatever we did or didn't do, it didn't matter to me - I just wanted to spend time with him. He told me that he had never met anyone like me - someone he could completely be himself with.

After he broke up with me, I have never made an effort to contact him because I'm respecting his wish. He has on several occassions tried to contact me; but I don't respond. My question is: Do you think he still thinks about me?

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I don't know your ages or specifics of why we all fall in love with someone, but from my own experience a little similar to yours. Keep out of this relationship! I gave financially & it almost cost me my home & even though you may not believe it, there is someone else (better) that you could fall in love with again. If he does think about you, how would you ever know it is really you or your security that he is after. Don't mean to be so harsh, but if you are intelligent, do not contact him & do not respond if he attempts to contact you.

Thank you for your response Wolf9009 - I really appeciate it.
Deep down I know this is the best thing for me; but it still bothers me.
I sat down and made a list of the "pros" and "cons" of our relationship and I needed a another sheet of paper for the "cons"... my head knows this was a bad relationship - it is just taking my heart a little more time to catch up.

Yes I agree, the heart takes longer to heal & you may always have a part of your heart that will wonder, but I believe you are doing the right thing by not seeing him, talking to him and you may need to get a hobby or something to utilize any time you find thinking of him. I wish life & relationships were always like the beginning. Happy, even eurphoric!

At first I thought this guy was just using the "it's not you, it's me" excuse by telling you that he isn't good enough for you. But by the time I finished reading, I felt like I could relate to this guy. I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough for my boyfriend and I'm tempted to just run away and let him find some one else who would make him happier and less stressed out.

Maybe that is what you're guy has done. You said he tried to contact you, maybe he cares for you and his insecurities just got the best of him and he ran away to avoid being hurt by you once you realized that he isn't good enough for you after all. If he has on several occasions tried to contact you, then I would call him back. If you believe he cares about you then I think you should respond to him. Even if you don't want to get back together with him, you should do the right thing and hear him out, give him some closure, don't let him suffer. He's obviously going through some internal struggles if he feels he isn't good enough for you, and ignoring him will only damage him. I suspect you still care about him. So do the right thing.

Thanks so much for your response azanerd - I appreciate your honesty.
I know I need to give this relationship closure - for him and more importantly for me.
I'm not ready to do that right now; but it will happen. I still care for him very much and I honestly believe he still cares for me. I don't have the desire to get back together with him; but by the same token, I definitely don't want to "damage" him any more than he is damaging himself. He was constantly putting himself down - so I'm pretty sure that his mind is working overtime. Again, I appreciate your advice and I will contact him.
Take care.