Ask Me Help Desk - Grieving Cat

My two female cats lived together for nearly 17 years. It's been one month now since Pietra suddenly died, and Pumpkin (who has been diagnosed with cancer last august) has not been the same kitty since. She's constantly meowing (the low guttural cry, the baby screaming cry, the please help me cry) agitated and angry. I've taken her to the vet, who tells me this could be very normal, and should pass. But it hasn't. I'm home in the evenings with Pumpkin after work, but she wants nothing to do with me. Occasionally, at bedtime, she'll come to one of her many cardboard boxes and allow me to pet her, but she's still crying and unhappy. The vet says bringing another kitty into the home would be a mistake at her age. And I don't know how long she'll last with the cancer growing inside her. I really hate to see her so unhappy, and can't be sure if she's just vocalizing or if she's experiencing more. Vet says no pain. I can't be sure. She still eats, although 1/2 as much as normal, drinks a lot of water, and goes to the litter box with no issues. What should I do?

I know its hard to do nothing at all and I think in this case that is the best option and let her work it through herself. You are probably right, she is grieving. Animals alone after being with a life long partner do that. She misses her friend who was always there and she doesn't understand why she is alone now and I guess a human doesn't really take the place in this case. All you can do is offer as much support and affection as she will possibly accept.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pietra1000

My two female cats lived together for nearly 17 years. It's been one month now since Pietra suddenly died, and Pumpkin (who has been diagnosed with cancer last august) has not been the same kitty since. She's constantly meowing (the low gutteral cry, the baby screaming cry, the please help me cry) agitated and angry. I've taken her to the vet, who tells me this could be very normal, and should pass. But it hasn't. I'm home in the evenings with Pumpkin after work, but she wants nothing to do with me. Occassionally, at bedtime, she'll come to one of her many cardboard boxes and allow me to pet her, but she's still crying and unhappy. The vet says bringing another kitty into the home would be a mistake at her age. And I don't know how long she'll last with the cancer growing inside her. I really hate to see her so unhappy, and can't be sure if she's just vocalizing or if she's experiencing more. Vet says no pain. I can't be sure. She still eats, although 1/2 as much as normal, drinks a lot of water, and goes to the litter box with no issues. What should I do?

I don't agree with the vet. I think adopting another cat might distract her and encourage her to come out of her grieving process. A kitten would be best because she might feel maternal
And loving towards it. She is just lonely

I know that the vet said knoe but you never know the reaction that the cat will have. See if its possible to bring a kitten that looks like your old cat and home for two or three days. Ask your local shelter if you can foster a kitten and explain the situation. It may turn out to be a success and if not the shelter will take the kitten back at no expence to you.

I can relate... I had a cats named Kesha and Teddy, both persians and they loved each other even though Teddy was much older. When Teddy died, Kesha grew more and more like teddy by the second, and I would hear her cry in the middle of the night.

My point though, your cat is probably lonely, and she may feel the cancer's toll on her, like texie studstill said, foster a kitten that looks like the old one. Maybe try giving her attention even when she doesn't want it so that way it shows you love her no matter what!

Hope you're still there Pietra on the site. I hope that Pumpkin is surviving also and is not enduring much pain. I'm curious as to what the outcome was/is. I had a similar situation. I just didn't know that my (one) cat even liked my other one until she too suddenly passed. I didn't pay a lot of attention at first because I couldn't eat, sleep, etc. I did soon realize my cat was mourning the loss also. It was heartbreaking but I was glad to know that she did indeed love her.
This is a very very helpful site here at askmehelpdesk. When I come across posts such as yours, I usually try to encourage the person to check out APLG.org if you feel you yourself needs support whether it's the loss or you are expecting a loss. If you look at the site you will see. I'm not trying to sell anything. I just know how painful these things can be. I am a very huge animal lover. The site was helpful to me. Best wishes and I hope you are well.