My Fiancé and I Are getting married next year. We have been together for forever. Hes my best friend and I'm completely in love with him.

But I can't stand the way he says how all these girls are hot lol. I know I sound completely crazy saying this and I know he loves me but COME ON!

The only reason this upsets me is because all these girls that he thinks looks "Hot" Look NOTHING like me... and then he adds in what I should do to look like them

Situation... "Shes So Hot.. I love her hair, You should do your hair like that"

I love him and please feel free to say I'm crazy and over reacting I just don't know.

Im a strong woman. I say what I want and I normally don't care if he looks at other girls, but recently we don't have sex anymore. He couldn't keep his hands off me for the longest time and now we have sex about once every 2 weeks ( which may seem like a lot but it used to be an almost daily thing for us. )

I just don't want to be the girl who is insecure or feels like she has to change. I change for myself and myself only and I like what I look like. I just don't know what to do

Any advice?
Thanks!

Nope your not overeacting trust me I no how you feel.. like you could try your hardest to look your best but it still doesn't seem good enough and every one around you looks bettter and it puts you down so much.. explain to him that you don't like what he is saying and ask him how would he feel if it was you doingit to him!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xxtwincambabyxx

nope your not overeacting trust me i no how u feel..like you could try your hardest to look your best but it still doesnt seem good enough and every one around you looks bettter and it puts you down so much..explain to him that you dont like wat he is saying and ask him how would he feel if it was u doingit to him!!

---

I told him once that I feel bad and he's like you can say guys are hot I don't care. I work with kids all day so I don't put on sexy little dresses or do my makeup every day. I feel like I'm that girl who cares what everyone thinks and that has NEVER been me and now I'm like Maybe I should do my hair and makeup everyday now. I just hate feeling this way

You don't have to change for anyone and you no that! U like the way you are so and that's all that matters so why change for someone else? and tell him you don't want to talk like that about other guys that he is the only one you look at and find attractive and tll him next time he is mouthing off about other women telll him don't do it in front of you keep it to himself that you don't want to hear it!

I'm not saying this is nessesarily what he is doing, but a lot of guys try to keep their girlfriends/wives a little jealous so that the girlfriends/wives will keep pursuing them. It keeps the girl from losing interest and it makes her try a little harder. I think he's taking it overboard a bit. Its really just so he can get your attention though. Its mind games and its really not "right" but a lot of guys do it. You want to play his game, act like it doesn't bother you. Sucks the fun right out of it for him and gives you the power...

I know its tough to hear this. But sometimes we just say that like if you see a guy in a nice t-shirt you go humm my man would look good in that. That's all we are doing.

He is with you and that's what counts :) next time brad pitt comes on the screen go oh babe yeah why don't you lose some weight and dress like him.

Then we will see how well he takes it. I bet you any money he will not take it as well as you are taking it :) hehe

If it bothers you that much talk to him about it. But I'm sure he doesn't mean anything by it

Hope it all works out

Regards

I have a different take on this. I think he is being very disrespectful to you! Sure, all guys "look" and so do girls. It's the 'nature of the beast', so to say. But looking is one thing. Telling you to your face that another girl is 'hot', or you should do your hair like her or wear your makeup like her, etc. when he knows you don't like it, seems to suggest that he doesn't care about your feelings much.

You can try the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" thing to see how he reacts, but I think before you get married you had better lay down some ground rules or you'll be sorry.

Also, and I'm not trying to imply that he may be cheating or checking out other options, but keep your eyes wide open girl, and trust your instincts. Usually if something just doesn't seem right in your relationship, it's the little girl on your shoulder trying to poke you to say, 'Pay Attention' ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BigCityDreams007

I told him once that i feel bad and hes like you can say guys are hot i dont care. I work with kids all day so i dont put on sexy little dresses or do my makeup every day. I feel like im that girl who cares what everyone thinks and that has NEVER been me and now im like Maybe i should do my hair and makeup everyday now. i just hate feeling this way

---

I'd say your boyfriend is the insecure and immature one. That is totally disrespectful and you should tell him that.

Also, I am will to bet if you started picking out guys and saying they were hot he would eventually get upset.

Maybe you should confront him and say something.

Do not let his immature behavior, make you insecure, and don not tolerate his disrespect. If he cannot accept how you feel when you put it to him nicely, then a more forceful approach is necessary. Its up to the two of you to set boundaries for behavior, in this relationship. Not just him!

Talk to him about this. Tell him that you don't mind that he looks or thinks other women are hot. But you don't appreciate how he wants you to change yourself. Tell him that you don't expect him to change for you, and you would never ask. If he responds negatively, you could also add that if he doesn't think you're awesome enough the way you are, he can hit the road.

Ultimately he should respect the fact you do not like the behavior. Bottom line.

Both men and woman see people of the opposite sex as attractive. In a relationship how we act on that defines the appropriateness. If you partner does not like a behavior and you are willing to change you should. If your not, maybe that isn't the right partner.

Quote:

---

if he doesn't think you're awesome enough the way you are, he can hit the road.

---

Great comeback answer.