I'm a ill adult female. I need help in everyday life. My mom has been there for me before.
Well.. there's always been times when I could do it alone. Or times when she would just "leave me" I made it only because I lucked out and found a peron to help me. I'm talking about cleaning/washing my hair/helping w/ shopping.. etc. but now I'm even sicker and she is giving up on me. Callingme worthless. And I feel like she's playing head games with me. I love my mom. I hate that I'm ill. I feel like a burden. She makes me feel even worse. How can I move on w/out her and do it by myself? But the thiing is I need help I'm disabled. Plus she knows everything about my disease.. and its rare. You have 2 have someone to go 2 dr.s apts w/ u because of it's rarity. She's the only one that knows. I don't know what 2 do. I want 2 seprate us for awhile.. but I need help w/ everything. So how could I go at this w/out her. I don't want 2 but I can't take her hurting me no more I have way too much on my plate and its over flowing and I can't deal w/her hurting me.
It's as if she like to help me and then play games like help me then string me along and then throw me away and then she knows I don't have no one else and I try 2 to do all by myself cleaning etc. she knows I cant.. and then she knows I have 2 call and ask her.. after the fact I'm mad at her and hurt by her. I feel like a child. I'm not I'm just ill and disabled adult that's sicktired and hurt bad and had it.
I've tried every way possible to get get to talk to communcaite. I've told her I am grateful I'm glad.. im happpy what she does. I've tried askingher what she thinks and she twistes my words or says I never ask or say those things. I do not know what to think or do about it but go our seprate ways.

Do you live in the USA?
What state?
Do you get SSI?
There are programs for disabled that will come to your home and run errands, clean your house and take care of your needs.
I am not sure of all the program names but I can find them.

Your mom may just feel worn out because she has to live her life doing what she needs for herself and
Then taking care of your needs. She probably feels overwhelmed.

It sounds to me that it mite really get to your mum that she can't help you get better,every mother wants her children to be well and healthy and when your child is sick you blame yourself and it kills you that you can't do anything for them

I'm amother and the doctors thort my son had cistic fibrosis it killed me I felt usless even though we haddnt got the results back I'm glad he hasn't because I felt so bad thinking it was myfault,was it something I did,was it smokin,was it something id taken[medication] you feel so useless because you can't do anything,even when the have bugs your gutted because theirs nothing you can do to make them better just wait it out

Your mother mite feel like its her fault your sick or she mite feel bad because she can't help you and she can't make you better

If talking to her doesn't work then rite down how you feel tell her its not her fault and that she shouldn't feel bad tell her that she's hurting you

I guess that's my only option eh? To call for a stranger to help. I guess the government would do this. But I guess I don't have no other option. I've read that these people can be stiff and uncaring,but I guess its better than what's going on now. Do I go to my states government site to find out info.

If you don't get along with a worker you can call and tell them that you want somebody else
Because they are not compatible to your needs or whatever.
But if you do it too many times then they will think you are being impossible.
What state do you live in?
I don't think the state government sites would have the information.
You might have to go through a disability advocate.

To get on disability you would need to go to your SSI building
But you have to make talk to your doc first and set up an appointment with them.
If you NEVER worked you should be able to get around $650. SSD. A month

Social Security Online

Quote:

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Originally Posted by COOKIE MONSTER

it sounds to me that it mite really get to your mum that she can't help you get better,every mother wants her children to be well and healthy and when your child is sick you blame yourself and it kills you that you can't do anythin for them

im amother and the doctors thort my son had cistic fibrosis it killed me i felt usless even tho we haddnt got the results back im glad he hasnt because i felt so bad thinkin it was myfault,was it something i did,was it smokin,was it something id taken[medication] you feel so useless because you can't do anythin,even when the have bugs ur gutted because theirs nothing you can do to make them better just wait it out

your mother mite feel like its her fault your sick or she mite feel bad because she can't help you and she can't make you better

if talkin to her doesnt work then rite down how you feel tell her its not her fault and that she shouldnt feel bad tell her that shes hurtin you

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I did. I did.. I typed out many notes to her thinking that since hse won't talk that writing would be the way. No go but at least I told her that. I think she may have other issues.. I wish I could do more but I can barbely do for me onnly I can do for her is tell her I love her ad thank her,but sometimes I wish she would tell me those things and that well just be my mom. So thanks tho'

Call your county's social services department. I know several homebound people (two young and one old) who are each getting good help from an assigned caregiver/personal assistant who does errands (grocery shop, fetch the mail, etc.), helps with personal needs, does the laundry and puts the clean clothes away, and has befriended them.

If the match isn't good, you can always request someone else. Your mother might be relieved that her responsibilities have lessened.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

If you don't get along with a worker you can call and tell them that you want somebody else
because they are not compatible to your needs or whatever.
But if you do it too many times then they will think you are being impossible.
What state do you live in?
I don't think the state government sites would have the information.
You might have to go through a disability advocate.

To get on disability you would need to go to your SSI building
but you have to make talk to your doc first and set up an appointment with them.
If you NEVER worked you should be able to get around $650. SSD. a month

Social Security Online

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Thank you for helping w/ your opinions.

I no how you feel mymum hasn't told me she loves me since I was 8 I'm 24 now oh tell a lie I mithered her for 2weeks asking why she never says she loves me or shows any affection towards me in the end we had an argument and I said she didn't love me and she screamed at me she did.but keep your chin up hun she does love you or she wouldn't do alll the things she's done.
Maybe your mum finds it hard to express her feelins,if she tells you she loves you she mite break down and let everythin out,and she won't want to do that because she thinks she has to be strong for you and that she has to keep it together,it must be very stressful for her doing all your chores and then her own and trying to have alife as well
Your mum does love you hun or she would have give up years ago,she probably just needs abreak aholiday or sum time to do things she likes doing,plus she mite leave you on your own so you learn to do things buy yourself because she won't always be their and your mum needs to no you can do things buy yourself just in case anything happens to her touch wood it doesn't

I am the opposite I have an impossible time telling my mom anything of affection
But I "mither" my kids to death with I love you's

So do I,I tell my eldest I love him afew times aday and I always call him over to me for ahug and akiss and I always giv him akiss and abig hug before I put him in bed and tell him I love him lots and lots and lots [he copys me when I say and lots and lots and lots] myboyfriend tells him he loves him as well [he doesn't see his dad it was his birthday last Monday and he didn't even call] he didn't even call at xmas with prezzies, myeldest has started calling myboyfriend dad he's never done that before I keep telling him he's called mark but he still calls him dad,I tell the youngest as well but he's only 4 n ahalf months lol he just looks at me like I'm daft lol