Me and my boyfriend have been togther for about 3 and a half years. We have sex.. not a lot but we have sex. I try so hard to have an orgasm and it doesn't come. He is great.. oral and intercourse. Once I hit the peak point I pull away or start crying. I can't handle the feeling. It is too intense. I really want to have one, for me and him. I know he must feel like he isn't good enough.. but its not the case. It is totally me. I don't know what to do to relax.. I even sing the abc in my head to stop thinking about it so it will come.. I don't know if this is normal or what. What can I do to make myself have an orgasm?

When I first started having sex I had the same feeling. It was so intense that all it actually hurt. I could push his penis out of me with the sheer velocity of the "O". Well, then I finally had one and it lasted for about 15 minutes. I just laid there twitching and I couldn't move. Then, after that, they started being pleasant. I am not trying to give you a horror story, but I am just trying to say stick in there. Can you give yourself one? If so, try having him do to you what you do to yourself.

For many women, it is a struggle to overcome all the negativity in their heads about females enjoying their natural orgasmic capabilities. Holly was nice enough to share her experience with you. I had my first orgasm in a dream and it woke me up; I was 21.

I guess I would suggest you discontinue what you and he are doing now, and you set out with him and without him on new paths of sexual exploration. Try reading erotica(no hard core porn)like Anais Nin, for example. I'm sure you can think of other things to do.