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-   -   Don't have any idea what to do. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=192206)

  • Mar 7, 2008, 05:16 PM
    trying4babykirk
    Don't have any idea what to do.
    *This is a behalf of a friend

    Katie and Jim were dating for 2 years, Katie became pregnant while supporting Jim and his mom, Katie continued to work and support Jim and his mom all through out her pregnancy. Katie got off work at 4 pm on a Tuesday and had Bob at 8 pm that evening. Bob is now 7 months old and Katie is tired of supporting Bob and his mom. Bob and his mom do not own cars or have jobs, pay any bills, or help financially with the baby. Katie owns her new vehicle and pays all bills and supports child alone.

    Katie and Bob got into an argument and Katie decided enough is enough, to avoid any domestic violence, Katie left the apartment on a Monday evening, stayed with a friend all night. (Jim has NEVER kept Bob over night alone) Now it is Thursday, and Jims mom has taken Bob out of town with all of his belongings and no one knows where she is going or planning on taking Bob.

    Is there anyway Katie can get Bob back? We live in Texas if that helps with any state law issues.

    *Names have been changed for their protection
  • Mar 7, 2008, 05:35 PM
    charlotte234s
    Jim's mother does not have the right to take the baby away out of state, it is considered illegal and even if it is not out of state, without the permission of both parents, it is illegal.
  • Mar 7, 2008, 05:38 PM
    trying4babykirk
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by charlotte234s
    Jim's mother does not have the right to take the baby away out of state, it is considered illegal and even if it is not out of state, without the permission of both parents, it is illegal.


    What can should she do?
  • Mar 7, 2008, 05:43 PM
    charlotte234s
    File a police report that this woman took off with her child, press charges. She should call Jim first and tell him that if his mother doesn't bring the baby back right now that she is calling the police. She is not at fault, it is not irresponsible to leave the child with its father and grandmother, but the grandmother CANNOT just take off with the baby.
  • Mar 7, 2008, 09:48 PM
    trying4babykirk
    Just to update everyone: As long as ONE parent knows where the baby is it is completely legal. We went to the police station and that is exactly what they told us. STUPID,yes, I know.
  • Mar 7, 2008, 09:59 PM
    oneguyinohio
    If I were the mother, I would try to get papers filed in court as soon as possible to try to get custody as the mother, filing that they have taken the child away from her without her consent, and that they are not allowing any access to her. By filing for custody, as the only parent with an income, she will also be establishing that she has not abandoned the child in any way.
  • Mar 7, 2008, 10:03 PM
    trying4babykirk
    Yes she has filed and its in progress... but days seem like years when your child is gone. We started on Wednesday, and he was served papers today I believe. The police pretty much can't do anything because its civil, so they say!
  • Mar 8, 2008, 12:48 AM
    charlotte234s
    Are you kidding me? If one parent takes off with a child and does not inform the other, it can be considered kidnapping. This situation is ridiculous. She should call the state police. That is insane.
  • Mar 8, 2008, 08:32 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by charlotte234s
    Are you kidding me? If one parent takes off with a child and does not inform the other, it can be considered kidnapping. This situation is ridiculous. She should call the state police. That is insane.


    Yes, it's insane but it's the same thing in NYS. As long as there is no custody agreement both parents are entitled to travel with the child, wherever.

    Frightening - !

    The next obstacle is not getting into Court; it's getting the person who has the child served, particularly if no one knows where he/she is.

    I am aware of one situation where the mother alleged abuse or the possibility of abuse through neglect, filed a Petition and the Police DID get immediately involved by Court Order, getting the child back and getting a Protective Order for the mother - but, again, that's only one case and she made a very convincing argument.

    (Is this you or a friend? I notice you say something like "we" at one point. If it's you - I'm sorry, this must be just horrible to live through.)
  • Mar 8, 2008, 08:36 AM
    cdad
    Im a bit confused but Im thinking the baby is ( Bob ) and he is currently with the Grandmother ? If that's true then that is considered kidnapping. The police and FBI should be notified and an amber alert should have already been put out. If they never went to court for custody and he isn't on the Birth Certificate then they are in bad shape.
    Your friend needs to move on this NOW and not wait any longer .
  • Mar 8, 2008, 09:03 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by califdadof3
    Im a bit confused but Im thinking the baby is ( Bob ) and he is currently with the Grandmother ? If thats true then that is considered kidnapping. The police and FBI should be notified and an amber alert should have already been put out. If they never went to court for custody and he isnt on the Birth Certificate then they are in bad shape.
    Your friend needs to move on this NOW and not wait any longer .



    Don't think this is Amber alert stuff but I just re-read and realized that the mother left the apartment following an argument and left the child behind. That never looks really good to the Court.

    (The Amber alert language is - among other things - "Plans require a child be at risk for serious bodily harm or death before an alert can be issued. This element is clearly related to law enforcement’s recognition that stranger abductions represent the greatest danger to children. The need for timely, accurate information based on strict and clearly understood criteria is critical, again keeping in mind the “best judgment” approach.")
  • Mar 8, 2008, 04:02 PM
    trying4babykirk
    Calidadof3: yes the baby is with the grandmother and Katie called Jim last night and he refused to let her see Bob. The police have been notified and they say there is nothing they can do because one parent knows where the child is. Bob has Jim's last name and Jim is on the Birth Certificate, unfourtantly.

    Anybody else have any ideas, or know anything that might help. The lawyer said the temporary hearing won't be until the end of next week sometime. Also, Jim has went to Katies work and followed her around all day yesterday, but the cops said there is nothing they can do about that either because he has not physically face to face confronted her, but to call them if he comes there again. So today he came there again, and she called, and the officer said she was being childish.

    This is so frustrating, because you hear/read about all this help for people like her out there but no one seems to be able to help. So we just have to play the waiting game!
  • Mar 8, 2008, 09:26 PM
    cdad
    What state are they in ? That might help resolve some of your problems. Some staes have stalking laws in place when you start filing papers and there are federal laws for stalking too.
  • Mar 8, 2008, 10:53 PM
    trying4babykirk
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by califdadof3
    What state are they in ? That might help resolve some of your problems. Some staes have stalking laws in place when you start filing papers and there are federal laws for stalking too.


    We are in Texas! Ya know everything is bigger in TEXAS well not the LAWS!! Sorry I am very frustrated!
  • Mar 9, 2008, 07:04 AM
    cdad
    I hope this helps these are 2 links for questions you have:

    Texas Stalking Laws:
    About.com: http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_Texas176

    Texas Child Custody Laws:
    Texas Child Custody Laws
  • Mar 9, 2008, 07:18 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    File an emergancy order for child custody ( separation also) once you have legal custody of the child, during this procedure have the court issue an order to produce the child.

    Also with no money or job there is a limited number of places they can be, fmaily or friends, one shoul be able to hunt them down.

    ** also I wlll say, since she just left her child with a man who has never keep the baby overnight, I am not as sorry for her as perhaps others have been.
  • Mar 9, 2008, 07:32 AM
    excon
    Hello trying:

    Cops LIE. Yes, they do. If they don't know the law, they could just say so. But nooo, they'd rather lie and eat doughnuts, instead of helping people. Oh, if there's somebody they can throw on the ground and step on his head, they're all up for that. But to investigate a kidnapping?? Nahhh - glazed is sooo much better.

    So, given that cops lie, and given that your child was kidnapped, you just can't sit back and let this happen.

    But, before I suggest that you start your campaign against the POLICE, I need a little clarification. Is Bob with his father?? Or is Bob just with his grandmother?? It makes a difference - a BIG difference. The grandmother cannot take Bob EVEN if the father knows where she and Bob are.

    That's the law, and I don't care what some doughnut eating fat cop says!

    Therefore, if Grandma is alone with Bob, she's a criminal.

    I'm not intimidated by the jerk cops. You shouldn't be either. I don't know how far you're willing to go for your children, but if it were me, I'd go to the police station and I wouldn't leave until they started to do their jobs. I'd take the press, and I'd take a lawyer.

    excon
  • Mar 9, 2008, 08:22 AM
    excon
    Hello again:

    Since this is the legal board, legal distinctions are paramount.

    My advice above is not intended to excuse Katie from leaving Bob with Grandma on Monday. It wasn't good parenting. However, it's not abandonment... It's not neglect... It's not abuse... It wasn't NICE to Grandma. It wasn't polite. But, it wasn't illegal.

    Irrespective of Katie's behavior, Grandma cannot take Bob, and keep him away from Katie. That's kidnapping - pure and simple.

    excon
  • Mar 9, 2008, 09:12 AM
    JudyKayTee
    [QUOTE=excon]Hello again:

    Since this is the legal board, legal distinctions are paramount.

    My advice above is not intended to excuse Katie from leaving Bob with Grandma on Monday. It wasn’t good parenting. However, it's not abandonment... It's not neglect... It's not abuse... It wasn't NICE to Grandma. It wasn't polite. But, it wasn't illegal.

    Irrespective of Katie’s behavior, Grandma cannot take Bob, and keep him away from Katie. That's kidnapping - pure and simple.


    I took a look at the various Statutes and abandonment in the majority of the States I looked at - including Texas - is either leaving and expressing an intention NOT to go back OR leaving for a period between 3 and 6 months. So, right, leaving overnight is not abandonment.

    I think it's bad judgment to leave the child with this father, Fr. Chuck pretty much covered that, but you are right, this is a legal board not a good sense board.

    But I still don't think it's kidnapping - I can't think of a category it does fit into, maybe custodial interference - I'll be curious to see how this plays out.
  • Mar 9, 2008, 10:05 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
    But I still don't think it's kidnapping - I can't think of a category it does fit into, maybe custodial interference

    Hello again, Judy:

    Okee doakee, then. That's a crime too.

    excon

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