Well I may only be 18 years old, but I've been sexually active since 14. The girl I'm with currently is actually the girl I lost my virginity to years ago(on my 14th birthday!:p). She, along with anyone else who knows me, knows that I pride myself on being "manly", I like yard work, lifting weights, my facial hair, wearing flannel shirts, you know how it is. She's told me over the years how great I am at giving her oral, which obviously gave me a lot of sexual confidence, along with the fact of her obvious orgasms when I'm going down on her.
When it comes to sitting my face between those legs, I'm at my second home, I'm confident, comfortable, and relaxed. Now I guess in my ego boost of my "oral skills", I lost my head and took my mind off what "really counts", intercourse! Just to clarify, we dated for a few years when we were younger, and recently over the last few months gotten back together. Since then yes we've had sex, only a few times. I'm always on top of my game, so I thought. I know that mood, and foreplay plays a large role in a woman's ability to orgasm through intercourse and I always take the time to make this right. She's only had one other sexual partner, and one orgasm through intercourse(which wasn't me :( ). It hadn't occurred to me that apparently I'm lame in the sack, and this has been a gigantic blow to myself confidence, I try not to let it show because I know she'll never have one if I'm making it a big problem. She's tried herself(masturbating) but is only capable of clitoral orgasms, which is fine I guess? Well basically it started when she had told me that she wasn't orgasming, and don't knock me folks, I take a prescription that makes it... difficult for me to climax so I can go all day long! I'm an average sized guy(I'm sure you're not all Ron Jeremy's yourselves! Just under 6"x4.5"). She's difficult to talk to about sex, she gets embarrassed and tells me it doesn't matter, that may be, but getting her off I feel as a man is my duty and in all seriousness, this has kept me up nights now, and it's getting old. She dropped a bomb on me just the other night and told me that when I'm inside her, she can barely feel me, as any man reading this knows, this is the worst thing we could ever hear. I felt my heart sink into my stomach and we haven't talked about it since. Any of you guru's out there please lend me a helping hand, point me in the direction of positions that best stimulate the clitoris? She's not up for self stimulation during sex, and as a "man" I really want to get this done with my other head if you know what I mean. Please help a newbie out, I love this girl and pleasing her means everything to me. I've tried giving her oral first, I've tried nearly everything.

My guess is that she must not have been with many guys cause she would see it isn't you but just the way it is cause basically, for the most part a girl really doesn't 'feel inside' like she seems to expect. Occasionally maybe, but not as a rule.
It is normal. I did read this somewhere along time ago and I know girls do say this and it seems to be the way it is.

Girls are hard to pleasure..

It depends as well.. if a girl masturbates A LOT, she'll know her climax times and how to achieve that

Several things...

First, I believe you've stated (hard to read) that you can get her off orally. Great. Kudos to yourself. You are ten years ahead of me at your age... though the girl and her preferences can make a difference. Anyway, glad you are willing, able, and capable of this.

Second, I will tell you, as I've said before here... if a guns to my head and I have to get my partner off... a woman whose body I know well... I know her fetishes... her quirks... I know by her body position and breathing rate if she's excited... if that guns at my head to get her off, I'm going down on her. Period.

Look at the anatomy. A woman cl!t is the most innervated place in the body. Twice as much as the male penis. And yet it is placed away from the action that drives the man to orgasm. How our species ever survived is a miracle.

The male penis (as opposed to the female? Sorry.) is simple... push, pull, push, pull, push, pull. Get a towel. You got my eye, you jerk.

The female? Not that simple. Hard thrashing? Soft pressure? Butterfly kisses? Depends on the woman. What gets my girl 20 secs from coming? Licking and sucking at the labia.. where the cl!toral "legs" run down the vuvla like a horseshoe.. the cl!t might be the finisher, but there's so much more to explore before that.

Uh... getting off track. Point was, my partner gets off orally most often. Intercourse some.

The girl before her? ALL THE TIME with intercourse, BUT always needing cl!toral finger stim either by her or me.

Some women are just more responsive to the g-spot with intercourse... a "spot" that some claim is just the roots of the cl!t running through the erectile tissue around the urethra. My first girlfriend could get off with fingering the g-spot, most after couldn't with this alone. A recent study concluded that some women simply have poor innervation or sensation at this spot... essentially, they have no g spot sensation, even though the physical structure exists.

So...

Its just not as simple as "me man... me get you off with me unit" [penis waving, stage right]

The fact that she won't self stim is disappointing... there are several positions I love that my partner can only get off in if she self stims.

Here's a complete twist... buy a vibe. Not a dildo, but they have other little vibes that are meant to stim the cl!t . Take it into bed and when you are in her, turn it on and gently stim her... shell likely ask what the hell you are doing... but if she responds well to it, shell likely let go of her self stim hangup. Run it up her thigh, over her hip bone... tease her before you ever go to the cl!t.

My partner has this cute little pink cl!t vibe. We don't use it a lot. But sometimes it's a nice change... and it stims her where she needs it when she needs it...

So stop feeling like less of a man.

Thrilled you are willing and happy to do oral on her. You are likely going to make many women happy as long as you are willing to listen to then and watch them. Plus, it prepares the woman for receiving you.

Don't be too flustered about intercourse. There's other positions to try, like her on top, reverse cowgirl, etc... and the second she loses her inhibition about cl!t stim, well, that's the moment she likely has a MUCH better sex life. Its just the truth.

It is *not* a man's responsibility to give a woman an orgasm... it is a woman's responsibility to develop her own orgasmic response, to overcome the negatives society(religion and family)heap upon her thereby causing her to repress her natural sexual feelings.

It sounds to me that she is a young girl who just wants sex to be over with because all she wants from a boyfriend is "cuddles" and a man on her arm. She is too young emotionally, in my opinion, to be a good love and sex partner.

If she doesn't masturbate then she doesn't know what turns her on, if she doesn't know then how the heck is she supposed to tell you? She's young and doesn't understand her own body, until she starts realizing that pleasuring yourself isn't evil she won't be able to tell you how to pleasure her. You're like a blind man in an alley without a map.

She has to get rid of her inhibitions and learn that sex can be pleasurable. Masturbating is a natural thing, it isn't bad or dirty. Tell her that it would really turn you on if she would pleasure herself, especially in front of you. Maybe show her that you aren't afraid to masturbate in front of her. If you want an equally pleasurable experience then she has to loosen up a bit about sex. Talk, talk, talk, that's all you can do.

Oh, remember, always use protection, please. You are too young to be called Daddy.

Thanks for all the great advice, I'm toying with the idea of a "toy" for us to experiment with, and I think I'm going to try coaxing her into the idea of... cooperative masturbation.

First she sounds a little imature when it comes to sex. You both have to talk about it, and she needs to tell you what she likes and what feels good to her. Maybe it's the position, for me I can only orgasm while on top. Maybe don't give her as much oral. But it's really not you. If she only been with one other guy, how can she not fell you?? I'm in my late 20's(very late lol) my last boyfriend had the littlest penis I 've ever saw but I felt him and I had a orgasm, so its up to her to figure out her own body.

Do you keep thrusting through your orgasm? If so, that may be a problem. To get the G-spot, when you are about to orgasm, get as deep as possible and stay put. Your penis pulses right on the spot, sending your lady into ecstasy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

look at the anatomy. a woman cl!t is the most innervated place in the body. twice as much as the male penis. and yet it is placed away from the action that drives the man to orgasm. how our species ever survived is a miracle.

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There's a reason a woman's clitoris is "placed away from the action". That area is so sensitive that if it were being constantly stimulated during sex it would HURT! A lot!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

the male penis (as opposed to the female? sorry.) is simple.... push, pull, push, pull, push,
the fact that she wont self stim is disappointing... there are several positions i love that my partner can only get off in if she self stims.

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Lol.
Fair point though, she needs to explore and know what works for her before she can expect it of you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by giani513

Do you keep thrusting through your orgasm? If so, that may be a problem. To get the G-spot, when you are about to orgasm, get as deep as possible and stay put. Your penis pulses right on the spot, sending your lady into ecstasy.

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That really depends on the length of the penis. And the G-spot isn't in exactly the same place on all women. It also doesn't necessarily have an effect on all women. Some women simply cannot have vaginal orgasms, only clitoral.
I can't orgasm at all... it sucks.

Bostonbruiser, I'm glad you're working so hard to pleasure your woman, but it might not be that simple. You said she only orgasmed once during sex... there might have been some other stimulation going on, or it might all have been to do with her mindset at the time. Remember that sex can be as much about mood and emotion as physicality for women.
I'm not saying don't try, but don't think that you're less of a man if you don't succeed.

Good luck!

Kal

It"s sad for me to think that you feel down since she told you she can't feel you. Like someone already said, often the inexperienced equate the penis with the vagina. The vagina (with the exeption of a sensitized G-spot) has about as much feeling as the inside of your mouth. You can "feel" but it frequently is only pressure while a guy is getting his jollies going in, and out and in and out. It can be kind of a bore.

Some women can only experience clitoral orgasms. I thought I was one of those women, until a guy tried the in-out stuff at an angle, pressure and speed that I had demonstrated while on top. What feels awesome to her, may be only mediocre to you. The vagina is not the inverted 'penis' of a woman. A woman's penis is her clitoris, although the type of stimulation each clitoris wants is different.

I disagree that a young woman only wants to cuddle. Bull! Women want to have orgasms. And, men are not responsible for a woman's orgasmic response, but you can be very, very involved!

There are some positions in which there is little sensation for me, as well, but others that are amazing! It does not have much to do with size, you don't need to be Ron Jeremy to please a woman.Try doing the spoon position, or some other position where you can be behind your partner, perhaps even doggy-style, but you said she is shy, so that may not work out so well. If you can get her on top, try reverse cowgirl, she's bound to feel that. Good luck, and just keep trying!

Thanks for all the insight =)