Ask Me Help Desk - Joint custody costs

I am recently divorced. We have a 14 yr old daughter that wanted to go to the mall one Friday afternoon that they had a day off school. She comes to my house every weekend and on wednesdays. We have joint custody. She called me and asked if her and her 2 friends could go. When they had their rides worked out (which were from parents) I said they could go. While at the mall they decided to shoplift and were caught. Now after dealing with the fact my ex husband says that I should have to pay the costs because I am the one who gave her permission to go and he didn't even know they were going. They were at his house when they went but like I said I pick her up after work on fridays and I didn't see the need in calling him and asking him if she could go too. Legally, is it OUR expense or should I really be the one that pays the full costs of her error.

Hi, Jeads,
Thank you for posting a question here at this site, and Welcome. I am sure you will receive many answers.
You didn't mention who has legal custody of the 14 yr old. Does your ex have custody?
I am so sorry, but I don't really know a specific answer to your question. However, I would call the Court Clerk's Office with your local Court House, and just possibly, they can answer your question.
I do know that the 14 yr old should be made to work, whatever it takes, to pay back the money to whichever one pays for it, or both.
I do wish you the best, and the question really is, "What are we do do now, to show your daughter that this type of action (stealing) is very bad?".
She might say "all my friends are doing it", but that doesn't mean she has to. I know you know that already, and I do wish you and she the best.

Unless the place you live has laws stating paretns are responsible, then neither one of you are.

Your DAUGHTER, the shoplift, is responsible for all this debt. Not you or your husband. Now, if one or both of you chooe to help her out is one thing, but only she is responsible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainForest

Unless the place you live has laws stating paretns are responsible, then neither one of you are.

Your DAUGHTER, the shoplift, is responsible for all this debt. Not you or your husband. Now, if one or both of you chooe to help her out is one thing, but only she is responsible.

Sorry but here in the great USA parents are legally responsible for any debt or illegal action that they children under 17 or 18 may committ.
If the child breaks something, parents have to pay for it, if the child steals it, the parents have to pay for it. If the court chages fines the parents have to pay it.

Legally your are both responsible, and the courts will hold both of your resonsbile, but then you both need to hold her responsible.
Now there is this issue, you gave her permission to leave the house of the other parent while he had the custody ( his time frame)
You did not have that right to give her permission since at that specific time since you were not in custody of her at that specific time.
When both parents have custody there should and have to be rules based on each parents rules while they were in that specific house.

Your ex has a right to be contacted on issues like that if she is in his house. Did she call you because she thought you would say yes and he would say no?

If I was in his place I would not want to pay either since I was not contacted about letting her go, but from the legal system, most likely you both will be held responsible.