First off, hello to everyone taking the time to read this.
I have just gotten out of a really bad 7-year long abusive relationship. I am a single mother raising three beautiful babies (ages 10, 6, and 3) so needless to say, I already have my hands full.
Well fast forward a few months later-after I had left this bad relationship, I met a really nice gentleman... or so I thought. He goes to church, he has three kids, only one of which lives with him, he pays child support on the other one and doesn't talk a whole lot about the middle one. I don't think he has anything to do with that one. The one he pays child support on, well he doesn't exercise his rights to see him. Anyway, I'm not trying to talk bad about this man, these are just personal problems that persist in the back of my head. We all have skeletons in our closets right? Ok Moving on...
At first, in the beginning of the relationship, we took things very slow, and I was just astonished by how "good" he was to me (not pressuring me for sex, he took me out to eat for Valentine's Day, met my dad before we went out on our first date-even though I'm 27 years old... ) He was just an overall "what a good man should be according to society"kind of a guy.
Well, as we all know it is tax season. It seems like ever since I have received my income tax money, he has been asking me to borrow money, picking up items here and there for him whnever I go to the grocery store. But then, recently, he asked me if he could borrow $150.00. The $50.00 would be for his personal use and the $100.00 would go towards his previously unpaid electric bill. I was very shocked when he asked me this and at first, I said "OK" after a long pause. I finally told him yesterday (he asked me about 4 days ago) that I did not feel comfortable about this because we have only been dating for maybe 3 months and I am a single mother of 3 children (no current child support in order-working on that though) and I need that money. I don't just go out and blow money. I save and save and I work hard. By the way, that last sentence is not something I personally said to him. But that is how I feel.
I mean, if it was like $50.00 or $20.00 until he gets paid, sure, no problem, we all could use a helping hand every now and then. But $150.00 is a little much to be asking his new girlfriend of barely 3 months who has to work hard for her money AND I make less than he does.
I see this as a red flag. However, If I'm wrong, I'd like to get opinions and will not agree or disagree with anyone. I just want to know if I am right to feel this way, or if I am being a straight up BIA.
Thanks for reading!
TJ