Ask Me Help Desk - When to get engaged

When to get engaged

:confused: i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and evertime i bring up getting engaged he ignores the question?

Are you dating, or living together?

And how old are you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

and how old are you?

We have lived together for 3 years 23

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

and how old are you?

I'm 23 he,s22

In my opinion that's still pretty young, why are you in such a rush? Do you feel like marriage will finally lock him down? If you're secure in your relationship then there is no reason to rush things.

You are already living together, he has little reason to want to move on to any other level. The old saying of why buy a cow when you can get all the milk you want free.

My ex ignored my questions or insinuations when I would suggest a ring. He ignored me for the 8 years we spend on and off. Finally, I realized we were not in the same boat. I wanted marriage, so I found me someone else that did too! Someone mentioned you were young. Of course, I also think so, since I'm 33. But, some people want marriage as early as 16. Your age does not have to do with your desires. I'd say talk to him very seriously.

If he ignores you, you might have to be a little more forceful to get your answer. That could be as easy as cornering him and not letting the question slide, or it might mean moooo-ving out and taking his milk supply with you. Depending on if you are willing to give up on the situation if he is not willing to get engaged.

I'm 22. The M-word... makes me stop breathing.. a little bit.

Perhaps it's because I'm on a pre-professional route and I have a good 8 years of my life planned out ahead of me... but... yeah, if my girlfriend (if I had one) brought up engagement, I wouldn't be so sure...

Does he have a job? Do you have a job? And by job, I mean career... not a job you just kind of have. Do you two have a future planned out together?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

In my opinion thats still pretty young, why are you in such a rush? do you feel like marriage will finally lock him down? If you're secure in your relationship then there is no reason to rush things.

I don't feel I'm too young to get married and I'm not saying it has to be now but the fact is he won't even talk to me about it makes me feel he doesn't want a future with me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

you are already living together, he has little reason to want to move on to any other level. The old saying of why buy a cow when you can get all the milk you want free.

Funny you say that quoye because just the other day he said that to me!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I'm 22. the M-word...makes me stop breathing..a little bit.

Perhaps it's because I'm on a pre-professional route and I have a good 8 years of my life planned out ahead of me...but...yeah, if my girlfriend (if i had one) brought up engagement, I wouldn't be so sure...

does he have a job? do you have a job? and by job, I mean career...not a job you just kinda have. do you two have a future planned out together?

We both have very good jobs

You seem to know what you want, but he doesn't want the same thing, as he is happy with things the way they are, and why not, he has what he wants, so you must decide if that's good enough for you, and if it isn't, how to change it. If you were not there, then he would have to make a decision. Buy the cow to get the milk, or get another cow. That he refuses to discuss it is a red flag as to how he regards your feelings in this matter.

I would like to thank everyone for their advice it was very helpful

Hun, you need to think about what you want and if this guy can give it to you! You don't want to waste your youth on him, waiting for him to be committed to you and then later on he leaves you and you've wasted time and youth on him! I have friends who got married at ages 20-25 and both the girls and guys were the same age so when people say it's too early or too young, I disagree. If it's something you want then go for it! 4 years is enough time for him to make up his mind about marriage, how much time does he need? And an engagement can be done and you guys can set the wedding date for 5-10 years from now if he has future plans! Do you think any more time will change his mind? It might but it's unlikely and it will be something that will annoy u! I was with a guy who didn't want to get married and I've always wanted to get married.. you see the problem! I stayed thinking he would change but sooner or later there's only so much you can take! You guys both need to have the same views on this topic and right now you don't which isn't a good thing! Just have a big think about how important this is to you and if you can live with waiting years for marriage with this guy or if there's another guy out there that might think your really special and want to make you his wife and only his for the rest of his life!