Almost 17.never been kissed, never had a relationship, no friends.
So I will be 17 in 3 months, I have dropped out of high school, and I plan on getting my GED. I haven't had any real.. lets hang out friends since... I was like 11, I have NEVER been kissed, or had a relationship, which REALLY sucks because I am sooooo lonely. Even though I have 3 sisters, a brother, both my parents and a million pets. I am just so alone. I have been depressed since... I was 10, no help. **
I have been asked out... once... same guy for like a year... age 12... said no, threw away gifts(necklace from a gum ball machine wrapped in a wristband!) and almost broke his arm on the bus, in front of a bunch of jocks for asking me to the dance... I was a tomboy... and I didn't even know him!**
I was asked for a phone number at 13... but I made fun of him in front of his friends and gave him a very obvious fake number. (but he's a stoner now and has a baby with his drugie girl)
I was pretty mean when I was actually in school, the people I hung out with were idiots and to me they were just people to sit with at lunch.
I started homeschool in 8th grade. I realize now I should have been nicer and more social... but I can't change the past.
I guess you could say I am a romantic... I have this awful pain in my heart, and the only thing in the world that could make it go away would be to find that person who would love me the way I already love them... if that makes sense.
I am beautiful and "sexy"... or so I have been told... and after hearing it enough times you realize maybe its true.. so that couldn't be it right?
I don't get out much... if ever... only work and shopping. I prefer not to hangout with either my older sister(18) or younger sister(14) and their friends because well I dislike tham A lot and they are all always drunk or high, or making out with all their boyfriends, so no thanks.(I do LOVE my sisters, they are my BFF... only ones)
I think I have high standards but not imposibly high. I am also a very... sexual person... but I don't believe that is a problem... I know I am a... and I just want someone who will look at me and hold me and understand why. Why I am so mean and so screwed up and why. I think I've figured it out, but I want to know if ANYONE else will.
So if anyone has some input on my problem, thanks.
Ps... no haters, pervs and no I am not going to kill myself. Although some people would think I should.