Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   Almost 17.never been kissed, never had a relationship, no friends. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=191245)

  • Mar 4, 2008, 11:55 PM
    theONEthatWONT
    Almost 17.never been kissed, never had a relationship, no friends.
    So I will be 17 in 3 months, I have dropped out of high school, and I plan on getting my GED. I haven't had any real.. lets hang out friends since... I was like 11, I have NEVER been kissed, or had a relationship, which REALLY sucks because I am sooooo lonely. Even though I have 3 sisters, a brother, both my parents and a million pets. I am just so alone. I have been depressed since... I was 10, no help. **
    I have been asked out... once... same guy for like a year... age 12... said no, threw away gifts(necklace from a gum ball machine wrapped in a wristband!) and almost broke his arm on the bus, in front of a bunch of jocks for asking me to the dance... I was a tomboy... and I didn't even know him!**
    I was asked for a phone number at 13... but I made fun of him in front of his friends and gave him a very obvious fake number. (but he's a stoner now and has a baby with his drugie girl)
    I was pretty mean when I was actually in school, the people I hung out with were idiots and to me they were just people to sit with at lunch.
    I started homeschool in 8th grade. I realize now I should have been nicer and more social... but I can't change the past.
    I guess you could say I am a romantic... I have this awful pain in my heart, and the only thing in the world that could make it go away would be to find that person who would love me the way I already love them... if that makes sense.
    I am beautiful and "sexy"... or so I have been told... and after hearing it enough times you realize maybe its true.. so that couldn't be it right?
    I don't get out much... if ever... only work and shopping. I prefer not to hangout with either my older sister(18) or younger sister(14) and their friends because well I dislike tham A lot and they are all always drunk or high, or making out with all their boyfriends, so no thanks.(I do LOVE my sisters, they are my BFF... only ones)
    I think I have high standards but not imposibly high. I am also a very... sexual person... but I don't believe that is a problem... I know I am a... and I just want someone who will look at me and hold me and understand why. Why I am so mean and so screwed up and why. I think I've figured it out, but I want to know if ANYONE else will.
    So if anyone has some input on my problem, thanks.

    Ps... no haters, pervs and no I am not going to kill myself. Although some people would think I should.
  • Mar 5, 2008, 12:19 AM
    justcurious55
    Put yourself out there a little more? How much of an effort are you making to meet new people?
  • Mar 5, 2008, 12:36 AM
    SJB1701E
    In my opinion I believe you are setting yourself up for failure. Throughout high school, I was very anti social, talked to a select few people, mostly just to have someone to have lunch with, and was very pessimistic and depressed. Hell I still am a lot of those things, but after recognising the problems, I began to correct them. (A long and tiring process.) You want a relationship, you need to build a friend base. Get involved in some social circles and clicks. Find a hobby that involves other people. Try to adopt a positive attitude. Make yourself be outgoing. Approach other people. You already recognise the "problems" with yourself. I'm not saying anything is "wrong" with you because there's not. Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. But growing as a person (and believe me the next 5-10 years of your life will be one hell of a growth spurt in this area) means not only recognising your faults, but trying to improve them. You have settled into a comfort zone. You really can be comfortable is misery. You need to work on getting out of your comfort zone, meeting new people, and adopting a positive attitude. Make some friends (male and female) and the rest will happen. You won't have a chance of finding somebody if you don't go out and meet lots of people. Work on these things first and the rest will fall in place
  • Mar 5, 2008, 01:43 AM
    starbuck8
    Hey hun,

    I think you are doing a lot of things right to begin with. You didn't go out with the stoner, who now has a druggie g/f, you don't like to hang out with the people who get drunk and high all the time, you are planning on getting your GED, you love your family, you have a job, and you have high standards! Sounds like a pretty good start to me! :)

    Don't let other people influence you or try and corrupt your morals. Stick to what you believe is right! Don't depend on other people to tell you what is right or wrong with you! Don't "look" for someone who will make "you" feel better. Love yourself first (flaws and all) and then you will be very surprised how many boys will be knocking your door down to take you out! You said you are beautiful and sexy, but that's only half the battle! Get your GED, keep working so you don't have to reley on any guy, and learn to see the good things you have to offer instead of focusing on the bad things! It might seem eons away, but in a few yrs you will look back at this time in your life and wonder "what was i thinkin?"

    You mentioned you have a "million" pets? They can be your bff's too! They listen pretty damn well when you have probs, and they don't judge you right? They understand when you are happy or sad, and they are always good for a big hug until the right guy comes along to listen to your thoughts as well as the pets do.

    You will find a boy who will do all the things you need him to do... "look at you, hold you, understand you", if you wait for the right one... not just someone who is handy because you are lonely. Try to find someone you can be bff's with first, see if he passes all your tests, and then watch him for a good 6 months afterwards to make sure he's still acting the same way, and there's your guy!

    In the meantime, take some of those pets (one must be a dog if there's a million, lol) to the dog park, for walks, etc. Guys like dogs too, and there are lots of them in the dog parks or walking them down the street!

    Good Luck :)
  • Mar 5, 2008, 02:12 AM
    TrueFaith
    Hey listen its hard sometimes not everone is popular in high school your time will oome you just have to live your life, its very easy to feel sorry for you self. But don't. Because it seems you will have an even more negative out look on life than you do now.

    You watch to many movies thinking that love is ideal and wonderful. Its not it's a lot of work. Love and other people don't make you happy if your not happy with in yourself then well how can you love anyone else?

    First lose the concept of needing someone. You have a family and a place to live. Your not that bad kid.

    Look outside in the real world and you will see real pain ;) be thankful for the things you have and get over feeling sorry for yourself
  • Mar 5, 2008, 11:11 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    You need to work on getting out of your comfort zone, meeting new people, and adopting a positive attitude. Make some friends (male and female) and the rest will happen. You won't have a chance of finding somebody if you don't go out and meet lots of people. Work on these things first and the rest will fall in place
    Your attitude needs some adjustments, from negative to positive. Work on you first, and things will fall into place.
    Quote:

    Look outside in the real world and you will see real pain ;) be thankful for the things you have and get over feeling sorry for yourself
    The way you feel about others is a reflection the way you feel about yourself. Start there and learn to love yourself, and be happy who you are. The other posters have given you really excellent advice and you should take it and change yourself.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:03 AM.