Originally Posted by NeedAdvice08
First off, I would like to say ahead of time that I am looking for serious answers to my questions, and not people's opinions on what they feel about the situation. I have read other people's Q's and A's on here and some people tend to give cruel and very opinionated feedback of their points of view, often not even answering the question at all. Also, I'm trying to make this as anonymous as possible, hence why I used the phrase "the child", rather than saying him or her. Moving on...
I (obviously) live in VA. My child's Bio-Father lives out of state. He has not been in the child's life since a baby, except once when I was visiting that state- He gave the child back before his time was up b/c he couldn't handle taking care of the child. He does not pay child support. He never sees the child, nor tries to. There has been no established relationship with the child. The only contact we have is via email, so that it is all documented. We do have each other's current info., so there's no excuse for him not to be involved. He has just very recently started sending gifts or a gift card on major holidays, but still does not have any other involvement with the child. I filed for child support a year ago, but it hasn't gone through yet. I have asked on more than one occasion for him to relinquish his rights, but he refuses. I am married and have another child with my husband. My husband has been in the oldest child's life since infancy and wants to be able to adopt the child. The child has no idea that my husband is not her bio-father. My ex has since married and his wife is due to give birth to their baby very soon. He wants to create a family with his new wife, but yet out of spite, refuses to let go of our child that he obviously wants nothing to do with anyway. He doesn't want to be a father, just wants the title. I know how my ex and his family are, and they are very angry people that have never put the best interest of the child first. His prior drug use (that I believe is still going on) is a big concern, also. He is very irresponsible, immature and is a pathological liar. I am not stating this to bash my ex, I'm only mentioning this b/c I honestly feel whole-heartedly it would not be in my child's best interest to have him in our child's life. My child already has a great father.
I would like to know what the likeliness would be that I would get a judge to revoke the non-custodial parents' rights. Has anyone been through a similar situation? If so, what was the outcome? Does anyone have any websites stating the laws/grounds of abandonment in VA? Also, should I start this process by having my husband file for the adoption, or going to court to TPR? I know that's the order they'll have to do it in court anyway, but how do I start out proceeding this? Thanks ahead for any serious answers.
Before anyone responded, I wanted to add that I did read many other posts, most in in similar situations to mine, but I feel like my case is a little more complicated, since my ex refuses to give up rights, the fact that he's out of state, that there is no established relationship with the child, (which I feel would truly not be in the child's best interest to have the child in his life at all), etc. I didn't feel the answers provided to their Q's answered my own.