Ask Me Help Desk - Another my girlfriend needs space topic

Ive been reading so many threads about this, but I thought I would make my own so I could hopefully get responses unique to my situation.

Here goes:

Seeing girl for over 2 years.
Both still under 20.
She has not been very affectionate for past month or so. Although very on and off.
Now on a break after 2 days of deliberating. She says she does NOT want to break up, but does not want to get my hopes up.

I am very very close to her family as I have none of my own really. This upsets me most. Talked to her mother last night she says she is always here for me and that her daughter is very upset about it all that she has missed a day from work.

I am trying to keep up the no contact rule so she can have time to herself and hopefully she will miss me and want to come back to me, but how realistic is this?

Please any advice for people with experience, I'm hoping for some happy endings stories to this although I know realistically many won't me.

Thank you.

It sounds like you love her. Your girlfriend doesn't know how good she has it. Im a 20year old woman and I've been in a relationship for 2 years. I am probably feeling the same as your girlfriend is, I think that sometimes we just need some space alone. When we have that space, trust me we realise how much you mean to us, and often can't live with that feelings and come back. But I think that having a break can help some relationships. Dnt worry, just give her space... she may begin 2 miss u, when you don't pay attention. Gud luk

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojo179

Ive been reading so many threads about this, but i thought i would make my own so I could hopefully get responses unique to my situation.

Here goes:

Seeing girl for over 2 years.
Both still under 20.
She has not been very affectionate for past month or so. Although very on and off.
Now on a break after 2 days of deliberating. She says she does NOT want to break up, but does not want to get my hopes up.

I am very very close to her family as i have none of my own really. This upsets me most. Talked to her mother last night she says she is always here for me and that her daughter is very upset about it all that she has missed a day from work.

I am trying to keep up the no contact rule so she can have time to herself and hopefully she will miss me and want to come back to me, but how realistic is this?

Please any advice for people with experience, im hoping for some happy endings stories to this although i know realistically many wont me.

Thankyou.

Hey JoJo

Two key things here popped out when I read your post.

1) Both of you are under 20
2) You two took a step back to reexamine the situation relationship (the break)

I was considering a more lengthy answer to your question but this is how it goes; she's moved on.. I know that sounds harsh, and I know that she keeps telling you that you guys shouldn't break up, but then in the same breath say "don't get your hopes up". That means she feels bad about breaking the tie, and possibly losing a friend.

If your sitting back saying: "wow this guy is harsh" hear me out. After the age of 18 many guys have issues with confidence, not only in meeting women but in certain aspects of relationships in general. This is one of those situations. When you ask "hopefully she will miss me and want to come back to me, but how realistic is this?" it sounds like your hope is fleeting, and trust your instinct. You should jump the gun (probably not everyone's opinion) and say "its over". But if you want to get back on the emotional roller coaster ride, then let her persuade your feelings. Don't be the wussie in this situation and go out and meet the girl of your dreams. Don't let her set the rules and drag you through the mud, it's not good for your health. It'll be a tough month but there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Cheers

Thanks for both of your replies.

Im still going to cling to the hope that it will all get sorted, and that not being in her face will get her to miss me and come back.

Although at the same time ill be realistic and brace myself for her not coming back. Ill miss her family so much although after talking to her mother she promised me she would always be here for me.

I don't know I'm hoping in 2 weeks ill be able to come back here and say things are looking good again, but either way ill come back and say what's going on just as thanks for your replies.

Some more feedback would be really appreciated, especailly against those who have gone through similar situations.

It is too early to suggest you forget her, because she just might need some space and time to miss you. Maybe things have gotten to be so routine (same time for bed, same crap Friday nights, same sex, same conversational subjects without going further and learning more) with the two of you that she misses the spontaneous things in life. This might be a good time for both of you to reflect on what you like about each other and how you met, etc. Also things you'd like to change if you get together again.

Mom sounds like a nice person so keep her as a friend and not as an 'informer' of events happening to your GF, OK. Take it from a 57 yr old Grandma, I know what I'm talking about.

So, do keep us posted, and don't give up hope altogether - just one word of advice - you mentioned ''clinging to the hope'' - don't, I repeat don't get clingy because that is one of the things we girls avoid once we notice it.

Take time to reflect and collect, and good luck.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif

Quote:

I'm hoping for some happy endings stories to this although I know realistically many won't me.

You want a happy ending? Give her what she ask for, and build you a life that you enjoy, without her in it. The lessons you will learn, and the skills you will acquire through this process of growing, will last a lifetime, and you will no longer depend on others to make you happy, because you will learn to love yourself, for who you are, and that is the happy ending, that maybe you can't see clearly at this time, but you will. I promise.