Married for 20 plus years. My wife and I have enjoyed a fairly normal sex life. Both enjoyed oral sex, at least I thought. About a year ago she got an infection, (I think a yeast infection) which I understand can be quite uncomfortable. Ever since then she will not let me perform oral sex on her. I enjoy giving her pleasure this way. I feel kind of like I screwed up and did something wrong. I've thought about suggesting a dental dam, but it seems like it would not be all that much fun. Our verbal communications regarding sex sucks. I think she feels its not worth the risk getting another infection. I feel frustrated. :confused: Any women out there who can help me out with suggestions.

The two of you need to talk about it. Just do it. Tell her up front that you are not comfortable talking about sex, but that it's very important to you to discuss this. She might have a reason for not having oral done to her that you have not thought of. Ask.

Sometimes women get a yeast infection from a partner's mouth. Listerine kills most germs, I'm not sure if it kills yeast. A freshly washed face and hands are a good thing too. Go see a physician and have your mouth checked for yeast.

It's more likely that she will pick up nasty things from the toilet splashing at work or at the mall. You aren't able to get too germy from the toilet seat, it's the water in the bowl. Bacteria and fungus prefer warm, wet and dark places. That's why it is so important for women to use the seat cover (hole not punched out) or paper in the bowl to prevent any splashing.

Welcome to the site.
Simone

Yeast infections are relatively common.. but I got to ask, did she get this infection right after a sexual encounter?

I do agree that she can feel like it's not worth the risk... however, the risks are pretty minimal if normal sanitary conditions are met.

Do try to talk to her about it... I understand how uncomfortable it may be at first, but the more you talk about it, the better your sex life gets.

You have been married 20+ years and you have difficulty talking about your sex life with your wife? I think there is more to this than just the infection.
You said you think it was a yeast infection, was it the first one she has ever had, if not why was this one different. Has your sex life also changed? Gosh some women frequently get yeast infections for no obvious reason, it's a no biggy.
What risk doesn't she want to take? Yeast infections usually aren't caught from a sex partner. Women are more likely to get a yeast infection if they are using antibiotics, are pregnant, have diabetes, or stay hot and sweaty for long periods. Some women get frequent yeast infections for no obvious reason.

I would suggest you sit down with her a gentle discuss the issues at hand, after 20 years of marriage surely you two can put the embarrassment aside and talk it out.

There are some women that have deeply instilled phobias or inhibitions related to that. Some might be able to get past them. Others never will. Then you have those who are put off it by guys that think its like a dog lapping up water.

As far as a yeast infection, I hope you were not involving stuff like chocolate syrup or suckers... anything like that will contribute to a yeast infection. Not regular oral.