Originally Posted by Rockgrl84
Hi. I'm a 44 year old woman, the youngest of 5 kids, and my sister who's 2 years older than me is not speaking to me. We had a fight over the phone last June - she ended up hanging up on me, basically because I laid it on the line & she didn't like it very much. She's a difficult peson to get along with. At times she can be very funny, witty, and somewhat charming. At other times, she's rude, nasty, and difficult. She's butted heads with various family members over the years and lost some friends because of her difficult personality. Our fight was not nasty, but I got tired of arguing with her, and I told her that I wish I could tape record her voice and play it back to her so she knew exactly what she sounded like. She thinks that she never speaks in a nasty tone, etc., which is not reality at all. Anyway, I finally phoned her several weeks later and told her that I felt that we would never agree on what happened and basically, in order to save the relationship, we'd have to agree to disagree, and move forward. At first, she thought I was apologizing (she's NEVER apologized to anyone in her life), but I quickly set her straight on that, in a gentle way. She didn't seem to like that very much & wanted to start arguing again, but I just gently reminded her that I wasn't going down that road again. We needed to move forward to save our relationship. She seemed to agree, but makes no effort to contact me, although she contacts my other sisters. She even phoned my other sisters to thank them for her daughter's Christmas gift. I did not receive a phone call. She's come to my town for various reasons & has never made any attempt to make arrangements to get together, although she made arrangements with another sister. So, it's beginning to look like a pattern. Maybe my pride is in the way, but I've always been the one to appease her & make amends. I think it's time for me to stand up for myself & make a point that I'm not going to do that anymore. She needs to learn to see things from other people's perspectives & consider their feelings once in a while. She never thinks she's done anything wrong - it's always everybody else. She has a major chip on her shoulder & everything's "Poor me". So, basically, I don't know what to do. I'm the type of person who likes peace (as most people do) & I don't want family gatherings to be awkward because of this. Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated - thanks for taking the time to help out!