My "ex" boyfriend of two months was exposed (by me... ) about his on-line sessions to porn sites including teenage sex porn. I have a teenage daughter and my worst fears were revealed. He is now "blaming me" for going into his "personal space"... Was I wrong to expose his "infidelity" and is that considered "cheating" in a relationship?

Sounds like your better off without him around, especially considering your teenage daughter. I wouldn't consider looking at porn cheating though.

Thank you for your response and I do agree, I am better off without him. When I speak in terms of "cheating" I am asking is "veiwing porn"... without your partner - Let me clarify... is veiwing (searching) WEBSITES such as onlinef**kfriends... a source of "cheating"? My curiousity destroyed my relationship... and I am beating myself up for it but on the other hand... why would he need to "look" for an onlinef**kfriend if he has a girlfriend and is in a committed relationship with someone (he claims.. ) he wants a future with?

Searching online for a physical relationship with the intention of cheating is not a sign he is committed to you... so yes it is just as bad as cheating. Your definitely better off without him.

I do not see looking at porn as "cheating", however it would raise a concern to me since you have a teenage daughter around, and he is looking at teen porn. If any of the people he is viewing online are under the age of 18, it is illegal in the first place.

Emotional cheating falls into a different aspect. I do not believe emotional cheating is taking place until A. he tells someone online that he loves them, or B. he plans on "running away" to try and find the person. If he is just looking at pictures, and chatting, I don't believe it is cheating. That's just my opinion.

I hope everything works out, and by the way, welcome to the site. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bellababy60

My "ex" boyfriend of two months was exposed (by me...) about his on-line sessions to porn sites including teenage sex porn. I have a teenage daughter and my worst fears were revealed. He is now "blaming me" for going into his "personal space"...Was I wrong to expose his "infidelity" and is that considered "cheating" in a relationship?

---

Loose him cause that is your daughter and you should not take any chances. As far as his privacy well obviously he didn't keep it private enough. Loose him don't take a chance. You could find someone who is not into teenage porn.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by amricca

Searching online for a physical relationship with the intention of cheating is not a sign he is committed to you....so yes it is just as bad as cheating. Your definitely better off without him.

---

Thank you all for your responses. A tremendous burden has been lifted from my shoulders... my mind and my emotional well being. I hope to be of the same service to others as you have been for me.

Sometimes its better to let things go, instead to holding them so they hurt you and people around (people who mean a lot to you)

If he is "hiding" his viewing of porn, then it is cheating, since normally porn gives the one person ( normally men) the wrong idea of what a healthy sexual relastionship can be, and normally lowers the value of women in their eyes, Plus if often hurts their performance in the bedroom.

So if he told you, he wanted to watch porn, and you said OK, you did not have a problem, it is not cheating, if he is hiding it, he is ashamed and it is cheating.

Some couples enjoy watching it together and acting some of it out, while not my Christian idea of healthy sex, it is sometimes recommended for couples having some issues in those areas

I don't know what exactly was his "teen porn" but in general it sounds like he did not have a healthy idea of sex and he is better off without you.

I hope you meant... that I am better off without him. And thank you for the insight. Yes, he was "hiding it" and became very very volitile and ended our relationship over my discovery. It's possible that if he had "acknowledged" it and clarified that the porn websites were of adults... 18 years and older, I might not have been so distressed. My greatest concern was whether I wanted to continue a relationship with someone who was looking at a website called "onlinef**kfriends"... the morning after I spent an incredible evening with him. Plus, to add to that... I have a teenage daughter who is 17 and I am greatly concerned for her well being around a person of this nature. So be it... it's done and I hope this helps others. Thank you for your kind response.

Is there anything in his character that was a red flag, other than this porn thing? How long have you been together?

Yes, initially... I discovered that he was a member of fling.com and when confronted, he denied it. I wanted to "excuse" it because it was before we met - I went forward with extreme caution. I set up a "bogus" profile on an internet dating site and sent him a "wink" - he never responded, but he did "view" the profile as though he were interested. Somehow, he discovered it was me... My biggest concern is not so much the "veiwing" of the internet porn sites... I was freaking out because he was on the internet viewing women on another site... searching for an "onlinef**kfriend" during our "relationship".. I now refer to it as an "intense love affair...." because there were no signs of affection, compassion, respect, loyalty... all that it takes for a relationship to blossom. There was nothing there.. No big loss on my part. Thank you for your response... I truly am grateful for discovering this site. I am regaining my sanity... as we speak.

To me it sounds like you didn't trust him from the beginning. Not a good basis for a successful relationship. Learn from it and find someone who deserves you.