Ask Me Help Desk - Will or will not.

I love a girl for 4+yrs now.. I proposed her a yr back.. she denied politely.. but nw she is in my place working.. v met.. v went to few places with her in my bike to.. she talks very normally.. very politely and friendly too... bt I feel she has that liking in her for me.. else she wouldn have come with me when I called hr.. though v had ride in my bike for a official purpose.. I felt she has trust in me.. v message each other too.. but never replies me for casual messages.. if I ask for a help or info she replies immediately.. else she doesn't... HELP ME HOW TO FIND OR PULL THAT LOVE IN HER FOR ME? No fooling around with her friends.. I want to have a life with her.. im true and sincere.. and loyal.. to her..

V talked a lot about my love.. actually a guy betrayed her in name of friendship and another one in name of love.. I felt this might be the reason for m rejection. And tried telling me some weak reasons like religion and all.. but I stood firm in my point.. and likwise.. but for us.. v never lost of careers.. both are successful in our respective careers.. she got a awesome job and me too..

She could have ignored me but she never did that.. most of the time she tried answering me than avoiding me.. recently she did that for few months.. but now v behave as friends.. I be her friend as she wanted me to be.but I will be both as a friend and have that love also.. she knew all thse..

To add more.. recently she says me to when I message her periodically.. abt her official trips.. where she is going the next day.. and when she ll be back and stuffs like that.my doubt is in normal situations.. whn I said a friendly "hi"to her she never replies.. but if I ask something she replies to me that too its not 100%sure.. but 70% whts in her mind.. I'm sure if she wants to ignore she could have done that by not even telling anything.. buy she says... and not avoiding me..

I'm true and I don't want to look for another female.. I couldn get the feel I got with this girl.. im serious to get this relationship work out and wrap around the wedding bells..

It is unrealistic to think you can make any one feel as you do, or as you want them to. She is not ready for what you want, and given her past, has to be slow and cautious, to protect herself, Understand that, and don't push, nor take her feelings for granted, because of your own feelings. Back off, and talk, listen, and pay attention, as you don't know what she wants, and to her, that's the most important thing.

I understood what you saying.im not forcing her.. I never did that too.. all I do now is being her good friend and make her see whts good in me and what she missed to get in her past in me like loyalty.. trust and care and love.

I know she needs time.. and I'm not pushing anything.. im wondering why things aren't moving the way it should be.thats my point..

I made myself available when she needed any help.. and I'm making sure she does feel lonely.. though not occupying the whole 24/7 I'm trying to build a rapport and she is not.. atleast as a friend.. thats my point to feel worried..

I don't like your saying "she needs time"... that means you think you can win her over with good treatment, behavior... and life just isn't like that.

You can do "all the right things" and still there's no guarantee that she will ever see you romantically as you do her.

Her replies to you are polite, but I don't read anymore into that.

Look... this isn't what you want to hear, but its not happening. I've loved 3 women I couldn't be with... circumstances be damned... you get over it, you move on...

If I had hung onto the last love that didn't choose me... id never have found my wife... this month we celebrate 8 years married...

So sometimes you have to know when to back off... and it is time to back off. That's the thing about relationships... she might be "perfect" for you, but she is not in the same place concerning you... and I think you are wasting your time...

Look at it this way... you are giving her attention still with nothing in return. If you back away, and turn your attention elsewhere, she will feel what it is like to be without you... if she needs your attention, she will pursue it... if she lets it go, she never wanted it.

Time to back away and find out the truth.

Quote:

if I had hung onto the last love that didn't choose me... id never have found my wife...

That is such a profound statement. Be grateful when they kick you to the curb, it gets you closer to the real ONE!

kp2171.. thankyou for an awesome reply.. I appriciate that.. thankyou people for the response you have given me...

Glad the sites been helpful. You know there's no clear cut answer until you see how she responds... "being there" for her isn't doing it... so its time for her to feel what its like to be without your attention.

Just be careful... if she seems to miss the attention and initiates more contact, it doesn't mean she's interested in more of a relationship... it still could be she likes the attention without obligation... if she shows interest, you need to make it clear that you aren't interested in being her "girlfriend" or her "butler"... she's either all in, or all out.

And if she's out, don't punish her. You can still be civil, especially if you cross paths with work. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't mean she deliberately hurt you.

Hey KP.. that was one hell of a sugegstion.. thank you.. ll try seeing if she approaches me when I don't be with her for a while.. im sure something will turn up.. either I choose my path clearly or she making her intentions for some sort of commitment with me..