Hey Folks,
I met a girl last week, instant connection. I'm a pretty selective guy, and I have seen many sides of dating so I can understand what I'm looking for in a peer. Anyhow, we met during the week and then again on Friday even when I had made an official date for Saturday. So basically we ended up spending the weekend together, sans the bedrooms. I asked her in on Saturday and she reluctantly said no. That's fine with me :) but I would have loved the conversation :(. Every date was spot on, and she confirms to me that she's been having an amazing time.

Now my question is, how do I relax the reigns and take the physical contact thing slower? She's showing me that she has control, and I want to show the same, but you know how guys are. Lol. What are some of the hotter pre-sexual relationships that you've experienced.

It sounds like you have the right idea bud, I would let her make the next plans or contact with you. I already think you know how to relax here, you just need to DO IT. Trust me on this one, let her make the next plans with you. Women can be REALLY tricky at this point, and patience is KEY. She knows you have interest in her, and a lot of girls will test you to see how aggressive you are. I think you are at the point where your mind is telling you GO GO GO, but this is really where you need to slow down. Guys always run into the problem of "too soon" and it looks like you are at about that point.

This is going to sound stupid, but you need to start playing the hard to get game. She is playing this game with you, and you played the game perfectly so far. Now, it is her turn to make plans with you... this is how is works. You are allowed to call her, but DO NOT try and make plans with her, it is now on her to make plans or try and hang out with you because she declined the invite.

I think you are spot on with your feelings here, let her have the control here and let her make the next plans to hang out with you. Sometimes letting the "other" have the upper hand can play to your advantage, and I think you understand that. Make sure you are patient here and allow her to make the next plans to hang out.

I think she is testing you in a way, and so far you are SPOT ON. Be patient here bud and follow your gut. It seems to me that this girl is very interested in you, but wants to make sure you will give her some space... maybe she just got out of a relationship.

Relax for sure, and ALWAYS let the girl control the pace of the physical contact. There is no reason to rush anything when you are doing so well. If you get in a position where things are getting heavy, don't be afraid to "go for it" but just make sure you ease into things.

You have the right idea already, just keep your head on straight and your eye on the prize HAHAHA. It really seems you are going about thingsin the right way, SLOW... you are on the right path.

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

This is going to sound stupid, but you need to start playing the hard to get game. She is playing this game with you, and you played the game perfectly so far. Now, it is her turn to make plans with you...this is how is works. You are allowed to call her, but DO NOT try and make plans with her, it is now on her to make plans or try and hang out with you because she declined the invite.

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Wow thanks a lot! Very well said.
This is basically the answer right there. Who makes the next move? And the ball is back in her court. I have been contacting through the usual online messaging, but your right it is her next move. Its just a little strange nowadays, when you really like some one the roles aren't always clear in order to solidify that connection.

EXACTLY, the pressure is off you now. The thing a lot of guys want to do here is push, but you have the right idea... wait. Things are VERY strange, but you are playing this perfectly, and I can only hope any guy having thoughts about a relationship at this point will read this.

She knows you are interested, calling is not an issue so I'm not saying don't call... Give her a few days to think about this whole situation, then call. Make sure you are cool, playfull, and just you. Like you said, the ball is in her court and women know that.

You are doing so well, and a lot of guys can learn from this (me included). Be cool and just let her be in control at this point. If she wants to see you, she will try and see you.

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

EXACTLY, the pressure is off you now. The thing alot of guys want to do here is push, but you have the right idea.....wait. Things are VERY strange, but you are playing this perfectly, and I can only hope any guy having thoughts about a relationship at this point will read this.

She knows you are interested, calling is not an issue so i'm not saying don't call... Give her a few days to think about this whole situation, then call. Make sure you are cool, playfull, and just you. Like you said, the ball is in her court and women know that.

You are doing so well, and alot of guys can learn from this (me included). Be cool and just let her be in control at this point. If she wants to see you, she will try and see you.

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I learned the technique from a gent named David DeAngelo. This guy is a f'in genius. He is not only a good read but it's literally Dating for "Male" Dummies (as in the dummies line of books). You can download his whole PDF book, and there are some tidbits in there that really do the trick. I was mainly looking for a female perspective, but thanks for the incite Jeffatl.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

EXACTLY, the pressure is off you now. The thing alot of guys want to do here is push, but you have the right idea.....wait. Things are VERY strange, but you are playing this perfectly, and I can only hope any guy having thoughts about a relationship at this point will read this.

She knows you are interested, calling is not an issue so i'm not saying don't call... Give her a few days to think about this whole situation, then call. Make sure you are cool, playfull, and just you. Like you said, the ball is in her court and women know that.

You are doing so well, and alot of guys can learn from this (me included). Be cool and just let her be in control at this point. If she wants to see you, she will try and see you.

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The wait is killing me man, its killing me! Lol :D

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Originally Posted by airwalk_man

Hey Folks,
I met a girl last week, instant connection. I'm a pretty selective guy, and I have seen many sides of dating so I can understand what I'm looking for in a peer. Anyhow, we met during the week and then again on Friday even when I had made an official date for Saturday. So basically we ended up spending the weekend together, sans the bedrooms. I asked her in on Saturday and she reluctantly said no. Thats fine with me :) but I would have loved the conversation :(. Every date was spot on, and she confirms to me that shes been having an amazing time.

Now my question is, how do I relax the reigns and take the physical contact thing slower? She's showing me that she has control, and I want to show the same, but you know how guys are. lol. What are some of the hotter pre-sexual relationships that you've experienced.

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:confused:
UPDATE QUESTION? Its been three days since I last spoke to her. My female roommate says she typically has a three day rule for contacting newbie dates. Does this sound legitimate? I'm telling you, our first date was great, and I put some thought into it and she even told me that she had never laughed so hard in her life. I don't want to be Mr. Clingy but should I give her a shout tonight or wait till she makes initial contact. She's back on the dating website I found her, so maybe that's a good indication.
Anyhow, thanks for the help.. . again...

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Originally Posted by airwalk_man

:confused:
UPDATE QUESTION?? Its been three days since I last spoke to her. My female roommate says she typically has a three day rule for contacting newbie dates. Does this sound legitimate? I'm telling you, our first date was great, and I put some thought into it and she even told me that she had never laughed so hard in her life. I don't want to be Mr. Clingy but should I give her a shout tonight or wait till she makes initial contact. Shes back on the dating website I found her, so maybe thats a good indication.
Anyhow, thanks for the help. ...... again.....

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You guys went on 2 dates right?. personally I would wait till she called or texted or something. If she doesn't in the next few days, then give her a buzz... if she asks why it took you so long to call, tell her that you've been busy, or you can ask her the same lol.

But seriously man, if she had a good time like you say she did, then you are in control, just be patient my man. All good things to those who wait/persevere.

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Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

You guys went on 2 dates right?... personally i would wait till she called or texted or something. If she doesn't in the next few days, then give her a buzz... if she asks why it took you so long to call, tell her that you've been busy, or you can ask her the same lol.

But seriously man, if she had a good time like you say she did, then you are in control, just be patient my man. all good things to those who wait/persevere.

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Thanks, I needed a little confidence boost on this subject. Because as my title suggests, this girl is great. I've been with many girls for my age, and this one is right on the money, so I'm playing the cool game. (when really I'm sweatin' like a madman) lol. I'll wait it out.

Any ideas from a woman? Thanks guys though.

I would call her in a few days, and see if she is busy, for a weekend date. If she is, make other plans. Be a gentleman, and don't push, and make sure she has a good time, without putting her on a pedestal.