"There are other fish in the ocean"... so the saying goes, but after about 3 years since my last relationship (a short one at that) how do I find another fish? Many times I think that I would like to marry again, and live out the rest of my life in a meaningful relationship. I have no idea how to go about it though. I divorced my husband when my kids were very young, and now that they are young adults, I'm still single - at 42! To make matters worse, I'm living in a new state and have not made friends here yet. Even worse than that, I'm pretty shy. And please, don't anyone suggest internet dating sites! Been there, done that. There's a reason why the guys on these sites are single. So where does that leave me? I'm at heart a traditionalist. I very much believe in marriage and want to be married. Any suggestions?

42! At least look at the bright side... I am closer at 53 to looking for 'my guy' at a senior citizens center or the old folks home!
I know it is hard nowadays because many think 'traditionalist' is equal to Politically incorrect words such as values and morals.
Fish in the sea?
Needle in the haystack?
Or my ship came in and I wasn't at the harbor!

Know how you feel!

I don't know how to swim !

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Originally Posted by SeenItAll

"...internet dating sites! Been there, done that. There's a reason why the guys on these sites are single...

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I just completed a profile on OKCupid. What's the reason? I'd love to know why I'm single.

Sorry, Scleros. Didn't mean to offend. I've had some experiences that didn't pan out the way I had hoped. What it boiled down to for me was that guys I met mainly were interested in short-term, just have a good time and move on type relationships (even though they had indicated that they were looking for a wife). There were a couple of guys who sincerely did want a long-term commitment, but it didn't click for me. When you meet someone in person, you cue into a lot of things that you just don't get over the internet, such as body language, facial expressions, the subtle things that are said, etc. Also, seeing someone in 3-D is different than a picture.

But again, I don't mean to offend the guys who are doing the internet dating thing who are sincere and truly nice guys. Hey, I'd love to meet one. I just don't want to have to sift through all the others who aren't sincere first.

I wasn't offended, just curious. All the profiles I read seem so jaded and just wondered what sort of conclusions people may be reaching or mistakenly inferring from mine.

I remarried at 44, I found the fun of internet dating back then.

They say the internet is where some people find their happy marriage but
I wonder what the percent is compared to the ones just looking for whatever they can get
No strings attached.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

They say the internet is where some people find their happy marriage but
I wonder what the percent is compared to the ones just looking for whatever they can get
no strings attached.

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That's mostly what I found. So I gave up on it. I figure that I should get involved with a charity or group or something and then maybe I'll meet someone. And maybe not. The prospect of being alone forever is not good. The thing that gets me, though, is that even though I'm pretty, in good shape and very young looking (everyone's always surprised when I tell them I have grown kids), no one ever asks me out anymore. Ever. I think I'm just too isolated. Then again, how many 40 or 50 something single guys are there who are sincerely looking for someone to spend the rest of their years with? In my area? Chances may be slim, I think... Still, real life, for me anyway, is the better alternative to "virtual dating".

Yeah I think isolation. People not involving in conversations with strangers. Also, often when you go some places I think people assume since you are older and so forth, you are already in a relationship and they don't bother.
I don't know I haven't been able to figure it out.
I figure IF 'n when I make it to the nursing home I MIGHT meet Mr. Right.:D