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-   -   Can a sex addict have a real relationship? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=190046)

  • Mar 1, 2008, 07:26 PM
    packer04
    Can a sex addict have a real relationship?
    Well I no longer see the guy that I previosly was seeing. I do talk to him and still want to see him, but know he is bad for me. Like I stated he is into group sex,swinging,shemales,men etc, not just me. He is also very secretive -don't know where he lives, birthday, family things, he is a cop and I a nurse. My friends think he has a deep secret or dark side to himI would like him to just be with me, but he seems to blow me off when he can just be with me. That bothers me, I want him and only him. He doesn't seem to want to get close or passionate with me. Is it because he is so addicted to just sex and can't be in a relationship. Can a sex addicted person be in a relationship with another? I just feel maybe I should stick with him and see where this goes(although my couselor says to stay away and so do my friends) So should I stick it out and he possibly can be in a relationship with me? Help me!!
  • Mar 1, 2008, 07:57 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Packer04. You need to pack up this relationship and let it go.
    Being a cop as well, lots of stress. That job in itself will cause many problems but on top of that you say this person is not just into you. Into other relationships as well. If you want to be the only one, you will need to find somebody else. I know this may be hard but you need to do this for yourself.

    Your counselor is right, and your friends are right.

    The thing is the counselor, your friends and myself can not force you to make this type of decision.

    You need to make it yourself. Best of luck, by the way.

    Joe
  • Mar 2, 2008, 03:06 AM
    packer04
    Can a sex addict be in a relationship?
    I have been involved with a man whom has a sexual addiction to everything. I do not and I don't want to swing, group,swap,watch,be with other men or women. I like sex but only with him and not others. Everyone says I have no chance with him because of his sexual lifestyle. I feel I do but I don't. Everything else is great about him. I know a sex addict gets worse and not better. So can a sex addict have a relationship? Can they be close to another person emotionally? Do I have a chance with him and only him?
  • Mar 2, 2008, 03:47 AM
    tickle
    He definitely needs something to lower his libido, that would be good for you, but I don't think there is a possibility of him considering that. Sex addiction is like anything else, he needs it for a tremendous high and that is a bad way to be. I am with you on the swap/watch/swing etc. thing. Not everyone is positively into that lifestyle.

    To be quite honest, unless he is willing to change you don't have a chance in h**ll of ever convincing him that sex with you and only you will give him what he craves, IMO.

    Let me put it this way, you can have a relationship with him if you only want it on a platonic level because sex with this man will only drag you down.
  • Mar 2, 2008, 09:05 AM
    talaniman
    If he is under control, there is a chance, but if he has not made the right changes, no way.
  • Mar 2, 2008, 10:58 AM
    talaniman
    Help yourself, as he will not change, so kick him to the curb.

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