Im 21 years old and I have never had an orgasm.

I am in a serious relationship at the moment with the greatess guy I have ever met.
We have tried everything to books, masturbation, he's eaten me out on countless occasions, and almost every sexual position imaginable that increases the chances of orgasm.
Ive spoken to countless of people to try and get different views on the matter, I have almost every sex toy there is and still no go. I love this guy and me make me feel wonderful.
We have a healty sexual relationship, we are both extremely sexual but still I can't get to the point of climax. I can sometime with a vibrator get myself to feel like something is builting but I just can't get myself over a certain point and then it just slips away. After so long of trying and failling Im starting to think that there most be something wrong with me.
We also have a special kind of relationship. We are into having fun with other girls and couple ( don't judge now) but he is able to bring other girls to their climax, but no matter how much we try he can't bring me to it. And trust me he tries... Am I ever going to be able to feel that pleasure?

I would apreciate some new voices on the subject (or should I say typers)

Help! ---M-C

You're focusing too much on the destination. Even when you think you aren't, you are.

Enjoy the journey, focus on the sensations, and don't even HOPE for an orgasm.

You're going to get people here that are going to tell you that it's because you're not in a "committed, loving relationship" because you swing--but don't let them pressure you away from that (I'm assuming that you enjoy it, not that you're being pressured into it). I've done the 3some/swinging thing, and understand that it's necessary to have a huge amount of love and trust to make that work.

Seriously... trying to catch an orgasm, especially at first, is as hard as catching clouds. The minute you reach out to grab it, it dissapates. Just enjoy the sensations you have in the build up, and recognize that you have to relinquish control in order for it to happen. BOTH of you have to understand that you can't "make" it happen.

So... relax. Make a night where you both do nothing but foreplay. Take it nice and slow and teasing. Make the FOREPLAY the goal, and let everythign else fall where it will

I get the feeling that what you are doing now sexually is not what can bring you to orgasm at the present time... you have to get the feeling of orgasm-ing for the first time. Just to share, I had my first orgasm in a dream! It woke me up. :) It was my unconscious sexual self trying to get my attention in order to get me on the right road to orgasmic pleasure. You are so concerned, naturally, that you are too focused on orgasming and now you have a job, work! That is holding you back.

Just a couple of questions, are you a tense, angry or uptight person. Are you a controlling person or a fearful person? Were you raised in a strict religious household? Do you get uncomfortable when you have strong feelings? These characteristics can be anti-orgasm... repress your natural capacity for pleasure. Any chemical you put into your body can have the potential to have a negative effect on you mind... where orgasm is triggered.

I think you could do well with a few visits to a sex therapist. Well worth the investment so you can enjoy pleasure for the rest of your life.

Best wishes in 2008,

I have read all the books I can put my hands on,
I am doing everything in my power to relax, take a bath,message forplay for a long while,I keep my mind off orgasm when I'm having fun,but nothing helps.

I have been working on trying to reach orgasm for over a year now,and have spoken to lots of people that have given me the same advice.

Im just trying to see if there's something different,or someone that as the same issue to talk to.

I am not tense, angry or an uptight person. I am not controlling or a fearful person. No I was not raised in a strict religious household. And no I am not uncomfortable when I have strong feelings.

And I don't put anything chemical in my system ( quit smoking 4 months ago also)

I don't think about orgasm all the time, its just something I decided to see if anybody would have anything different to say...

Thank you for your response.

I wasn't trying to put you down, I'm trying to help you because I know how much you are missing. :)

I know,I just wanted to write it to explain that it isint for those reasons... Your opinion means a lot

I care about women and what they have to go through. I was afraid you didn't understand that. I had my first orgasm when I was 21... don't think it's too late for you. :)

If I can be of any other help, don't hesitate to ask.