Ask Me Help Desk - Since you've all been so helpful.

I have another question...

Yesterday, I met my ex at a party, 6 months since we last talked,
We had a little chat about what's going on etc.
Than she said we should meet sometimes, I told her "well you told me that the last time we met and didn't talk to me for 6 months".
She said she knows she was wrong and she promisses this time she will call.

First of all, what do think? Will she call?

And if she does, what should I do? I still love her but sont know if she's still with her new boyfriend... didn't see him at the party.

Thanks!!

Take it with a grain of salt, and don't hold your breath. Even if she does, why waste time with an ex, you have gotten over her haven't you, and moved on??

That's the main problem...

I still haven't moved on! I think.

I can't stop thinking about her... I miss her like crazy...

And since yesterday, I'm down and sad again...

Quote:

Originally Posted by royweins

Thats the main problem...

I still haven't moved on! I think.

I can't stop thinking about her... I miss her like crazy...

And since yesterday, I'm down and sad again...

Then take the time to do so, and don't answer if she calls. Why be confused by false hope? Give yourself more time, without her in your life, as that brief meeting shows, that's what you need.

Quote:

Originally Posted by royweins

Thats the main problem...

I still haven't moved on! I think.

I can't stop thinking about her... I miss her like crazy...

And since yesterday, I'm down and sad again...

Tal is right, READ the link on 'what happens after getting dumped' in Tal's signature again just to help refresh what we all go through in this type of heck in a relationship. He put it there for a reason, and the poster took the time to write it for a good reason. We are here to help you get over the pain, and help you remember how much you went through already... Do you really want to put yourself through this bullcrap again? She hurt you and you lost trust in her. Do you think you can trust her ever again enough to forget everything bad?. It's easy to remember the wonderful things - but they don't matter anymore because that pain you went through won't let you forget the bad things either.

No matter what your choice is, we will be here for you and wish you all the best.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_11_6.gif Keep your defenses up!

Thanks guys you're great!

I just found out she's no longer datinf that guy... I really think I should meet her to have some kind of closur (or not).

Is it possible to forgive someone who hurt you? Someone you really love?

Thkas :)

To forgive is up to you, dear. We all know that it is hard to forget, but I have forgiven quite a few times and it has worked for me. Just be sure of what YOU want and what you can tollerate in life - that's what is important.

Wishing you all the best, and remember too, that we will be here.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Hey guys

Well today she called me for the first time in 8 months. It was really nice to talk to her.

She told she broke up with her BF 4 months ago because she wanted to be alone after all...

I think we're going to meet each other on Thursday, but I'm not sure what her intentions are...

I really want us to get together again but I sont want to be the one who makes the move first because maybe she doesn't want to.

How do I know what she wants? How will I know if it's safe\possible to make a move?

Should I wait a while? I'm really confused... :confused:

Thanks :o

Unfortunately no one can tell you what her intentions are because we simply don't know. She may just want to catch up with you and renew a friendship, or maybe she is interested in trying to spark a relationship again. Or maybe she's doing it because she needs a favor. We can come up with a lot of different ideas about her intentions but the fact is that nobody knows so don't stress yourself over it.

So what should you expect when you see her? Absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Keep your expectations low. If you go in thinking that she is going to ask you to get back together then you are setting yourself up for a big fall.

With that said, how should you act when you see her? Relaxed, calm, and collected. Just be yourself and act as if you are going to see an old buddy of yours. Ask her what she's been up to, what her future plans are, and above all make her smile. Your carefree attitude may remind her of how things were between you two in the beginning (or maybe not, but it's better then showing up sad and depressed). Most importantly, don't try to make a move! This isn't a date. Just go with the flow. If she wants to get back together she will let you know.

If nothing spectacular happens at the end of the day--which is honestly the most realistic outcome--just say your goodbyes and let her know it was great to see her and that hopefully you two can meet up again in the future. The way she responds will tell you a lot. Keep us posted on what happens.

... really?

You want to get back with her? Even if she was with someone else?

Personally, I'm not a big fan of taking crap back, so... I would say... no thanks. HOWEVER, if you REALLY want her back...

confused25's got it.

Be the cool fun CONFIDENT guy you were when she met you. If a move is to be made, its hers. And just because she doesn't make a move right away doesn't mean anything either. confused25 is right. Just sit back, have some fun, and avoid talking about the relationship unless she brings it up. And if she doesn't don't worry. End the night early. This gives you the control. Tell her you have to work early, or study, or something like that. If your meeting for lunch, tell her you have plans you got to take care of after a sensible time. Tell her this was funn and to call you "sometime" when you leave. She'll either try to make plans with you then and there or call you very soon after (within a couple days). If she doesn't, don't worry about it and MOVE ON. I don't mean to be mean, but if you have a fun time and listen to me and confused25 and she soesn't try to make plans with you then MOVE ON. Oh and if she does try to make plans with you, and this is VERY IMPORTANT, you are BUSY on whatever day she suggests. No matter what your actual plans are, YOU ARE BUSY. Suggest another night. If she says Friday, you say "I've got plans Friday, hows saturday?" Oh and if she suggests dinner, you say "how about lunch." If you really want her back (and PLEASE DEAR GOD ASK YOURSELF IF YOU REALLY DO) then you have to make her chase you. You need to give her the impression that YOU HAVE A LIFE. Keep things slow and CASUAL. Don't rush back into her arms. You want her rushing back into yours. And don't for a second think you can pick up where you left off. If she does make a move, and you make the right ones back, you will have to start all over from friendship up. And don't talk about what or *who* she did while separated. This is a touchy subject and believe me, you're better off not knowing.

I also want to say, IF she does bring up your past relationship, tell her "don't worry about it". Apologize if she blames you for anything. Be agreeable. BITE UR Tongue. Tell her you "got over it along time ago" if she tries to apologize. No opening old wounds. If you do actually get back in a relationship (over TIME) then you will reach a point where it is OK to discuss only the things that could cause you problems like habits that haven't gone away. You shouldn't avoid the past because you can learn from it no matter who you are with. Just don't dwell on it.