I just wanted to know if there are people here who have chosen to leave a certain religious community and did not replace it with another...like going from Christianity to atheism for example...

If so, what was it like to tell your family? Did they push you away, try to change you, or accept your new view of life?

My story...


I was raised a nondenominational Christian and have recently discovered myself. By "discovering myself" I mean I finally accepted the fact that a lot of what I've been taught through Christianity I can't fully say I believe or agree with... I let go of the guilt that comes with denying the CLAIM that there was a man sent by God to die for our sins, and most significantly I stop trying to convince myself that the Bible is undeniably the true word of God or inspired by God...

SO, my conclusion... upon reading and researching and conversing with different people I found that I agree or feel at home with the concept of Deism. I do believe in a higher being... I don't know if there's a heaven or hell or life after death but it doesn't concern me anymore, why should I be concerned with it when it doesn't exist until I cease to exist? Besides with or without religion I believe I can still be a good person and do good things for those around me.

I have not discussed this with my family, primarily because I do not want to be preached to, I will gladly share my views with them (it's not a quick decision and I'm comfortable & happy with it) but I'm not sure it's even necessary... I'm just curious to know how others have experience this step and how it came about.

Do you own a watch?

There was a reason I was asking this...

Do you believe that the watch you own just poofed into existence? Or do you believe that someone made that watch with exact perfectness so that it will tick at just the right time and work just the way it does to help you keep time?

I would say let it come out when the situation arises. There's no reason to show up on Mother's Day with a box of candy, a bunch of flowers and a card that says "I have renounced your god and found my own!" :)

Many families never discuss individual religious beliefs. I have a very good friend who is in his 30's and his parents still don't know he's an atheist (they are very conservative Christian). He knows how upset they would be, so he does the good son thing and goes to church with them on Christmas and Easter and avoids the topic the rest of the year. It works for him.

I didn't come from a religious family, but there was always the implication (I guess) that there is a god, and heaven and hell, all that. I never really bought into it... but I don't feel the need to sit my grandmother (who actually is religious) down and tell her how I feel. I just let it be.

I guess you have to ask yourself what it would accomplish; is it something you want to get off your chest? Do you want to do it as a vengeful thing? Do you think other family members will join your way of thinking? To me, it's something that can (and probably will) come out with certain family members in the course of regular conversation. And if your family never discusses such things, then what does it matter if they know? So really, you just have to decide, how important is it to you that your family knows of this change in belief?

vintage, you might want to look up deism... It is quite different than atheism...

OK. On a serious note.

Be very careful with exploring other 'Gods'. It can be destructive. Have you decided which God you would like to follow? How about the God of money? Or the God of pride, that's a good one.

There is only one God. Jesus is not God. He is the Son of God who sits at the right hand of the Father.

In my opinion, your family did a poor job of leading you to God. There must have been something that they have done to you that didn't seem 'christian' and it has made you question the relationship all together. Remember- christians aren't perfect! And you don't even have to call yourself 'christian'. It is all about finding a relationship with God, not a religion. You don't have to go to church on Sundays. God would rather find you under a tree praying, than silent in a church pew.

I just encourage you to pray until every bit of energy is gone and you fall weak! Pray to God for understanding! Pray to Him to help you find truth so that you don't have to search and keep searching and keep searching and searching and searching...

Yes! That is really good! And a very good indication that there is a creator. Nature is a perfect example of a higher being.

I am going to tell you why your search hits me in a personal way.

I have seen angels. (don't freak out... just be openminded)
I have seen demons. I have known people who have seen Jesus and have come back to life to talk about it. I have friends who have seen angels. I have been filled with the Holy Spirit and my soul has changed. When someone says that they think Jesus doesn't exist, then they may as well be saying that the color blue doesn't exist.

Again, I just think that you are not searching hard enough for the truth. Don't give up. And don't talk to your family about it. If they haven't led you to Christ yet... find Him on your own... I can't live without Him. He is the air to me. ( I am actually crying right now)

Jillian, thanks for the reply

I don't think I will bring it up but my family is all about deep theology, political, educational conversations when we all get together and I usually get involved but now that I am certain about what it is I believe, that changes things to say the least... I would only want to share this because I find it enlightening (to be free form religion without the guilt) and also feel sad that the people I know are so closed minded about others (their religions and rights as human beings) and life because of their religious affiliations.

MImi, When you are an *adult*, you don't owe anyone an explanation for anything, specially your religious or non-religious worldview!

If your family asks, and I bet they won't, just say you don't like to talk about religion because these conversations lead to arguments. :)

If you have to shut some religious person up, just tell them that there is *no* independent verification of any of the supernatural events described in the New Testament. Then, you don't have to waste your breath talking about myth to someone who takes myth as having really happened.

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Originally Posted by vintage_surf21

yes! that is really good! and a very good indication that there is a creator. Nature is a perfect example of a higher being.

i am going to tell you why your search hits me in a personal way.

i have seen angels. (don't freak out...just be openminded)
i have seen demons. I have known people who have seen Jesus and have come back to life to talk about it. I have friends who have seen angels. i have been filled with the Holy Spirit and my soul has changed. when someone says that they think Jesus doesn't exist, then they may as well be saying that the color blue doesn't exist.

Again, I just think that you are not searching hard enough for the truth. Don't give up. And don't talk to your family about it. if they haven't led you to Christ yet...find Him on your own...i can't live without Him. He is the air to me. ( I am actually crying right now)

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Thanks for the response

I am still searching and I definitely do not claim to have all of the answers but I do feel very strongly about what it is that I have found thus far. Right now Deism suits me very well because like I mentioned before I do believe in God but the Bible itself which is supposed to be the word of God troubles me greatly... there are too many contradictions, atrocities and injustices not to mention hypocrisy... I don't have a personal vendetta against any religion I just think with Deism I've found the simplest and purest way to appreciate God (through his works that can NeveR be altered or manipulated by man i.e. gravity or time)... and with this I will go forth.

I hope I didn't make you cry, and I really do appreciate your sincerity about the topic ;)

Choux, thanks for the reply.

You're right they won't ask because they have no reason to believe I think any differently than the way they've taught me... but there's almost always a discussion about religion when my family gets together (everything seems to relate to it) but I guess the easiest thing to do would be to stay out of it or stay neutral... besides I'm not out convert anyone!

This world is so crazy that I can open my mind enough to understand that you would question God's existence. Growing up I always knew that the devil was here to kill , to lie , and to destroy lives and souls. But about 4 years ago I was in my living room praying and I started feeling God right there in the room with me(those who have had this experience know what I'm talking about) and I started asking God to please save my lost loved ones and to not let any of them perish, no matter how he had to bring them to their knees, as I had prayed many times before.and in the midst of all of my praying and questioning, he showed me something. The devil is on his job and his biggest weapon was not to kill, lie, or destroy it was to deceive, because if he can do that , he's won. I'm not telling you to believe or not believe. Because I've also excepted the fact that many are called and only few are chosen. I am glad that you do at least still believe in him. But, as far as telling your parents and family, if they are believers it would most likely sadden them. But, hey it would make them pray for you harder.lol good luck. My thoughts are with you

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Originally Posted by jennyrena

this world is so crazy that i can open my mind enough to understand that you would question God's existence. growing up i always knew that the devil was here to kill , to lie , and to destroy lives and souls. but about 4 years ago i was in my living room praying and i started feeling God right there in the room with me(those who have had this experience know what I'm talking about) and i started asking God to please save my lost loved ones and to not let any of them perish, no matter how he had to bring them to their knees, as i had prayed many times before.and in the midst of all of my praying and questioning, he showed me something. the devil is on his job and his biggest weapon was not to kill, lie, or destroy it was to deceive, because if he can do that , he's won. I'm not telling you to believe or not believe. because I've also excepted the fact that many are called and only few are chosen. i am glad that you do at least still believe in him. but, as far as telling your parents and family, if they are believers it would most likely sadden them. but, hey it would make them pray for you harder.lol good luck. my thoughts are with you

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Just to clarify things I do not question God's existence, I don't however find the Bible to be a credible source upon which I should base my beliefs...

I have decided not to bring this information to my family unless they ask which they probably won't.

Thanks for the reply but I'd just like to say you that it saddens me that you live your life thinking there's this evil being (satan) out to tempt you so that you can spend eternity in a lake of burning fire... sounds like a very dismal existence to me.

I'm a good person w/o religion and to be quite honest I've done far less bad things than my religious friends <drugs, alcohol addictions, promiscuous sex lives, being judgmental, adultery etc.) I've volunteered my time to help those less fortunate and the ill, I am devoted to my education and even started college after 2 years of high school, I try to respect and be caring to everyone and apologize and make up for the wrong I do/say...
With all that being said I know there's a God and if there is a heaven I'm sure my name's on the list!

Hmm, sounds as if you have become un-churched. That's what happened to me. What I feel is real. What evangelicals attempt to convince me of, in words, does not feel real or right to me. 'God' is part of the soul. Feelings are the language of the soul.

I was born to fundamentalist Christian parents and raised in that cocoon, attending church-related schools all the way through college. When I left the church in my early twenties, it was a huge deal to my folks and all my associates. I'm now in my early sixties, and I don't regret a thing. The biggest relief was the realization that there's really only one kind of people in the world, and the "Us" and "Them" that religious groups depend on to perpetuate and justify their specialness is nothing more than simple human pride.

You're fine. I salute your courage in recognizing and acting on your inner convictions.

My parents did not attend any Church and God was simply left out of any conversation. However, I did have many relatives that were extremely religious…church more than just on Sunday. I often spent time with my cousins and did believe in God until I was an adult. The next 40 years I did not believe. After many years of studying Science and Philosophy I became an ardent Atheist. It has only been recently that I became a Deist, and now am beginning to believe the Bible is the Word of God. I have no religious affiliation and don't plan on joining any Church.

Has it changed my life…not so that I notice it. I have always been tolerant of religious people's belief and still am.

Questioning the status quo is part of becoming an adult Most people "inherit" the religion of their families, thinking all religions lead to God. I think the basics should be covered -- is there a God, how involved is he in human affairs. If your faith believes in the trinity, that God, Jesus and the holy spirit are all the same being ==do you?
I personally believe that God does exist, look at nature. I don't believe all the varieties of plants, animals, people, different colors in nature could have just happened. To me that is the foundation of a search for your faith.

As you may know, Buddhist is a non-theistic religion. We do not have a god to whom we will have to redeem or things like that. If your family is deeply involved in their religion, the best thing you can do is not to tell them. I told my fathers I did not believe in God and they even told me I had demons inside me!
That is one reason I abandoned Christianity. It's better to set an example and when they say "you're a good person, are you Christian?" you may tell them "no, I'm not."
Telling people who are not open minded can create conflicts.