All right guys back again, last year went through the same thing in a post under pablocruz696, now going through it again only this time moved out. It seems things made a change for the worse we split up right after the holidays and she got to meet the whole family, and once came back she was going to the gym with her friend who broke up with her long term boyfriend and started instagating the same. Now I know her friend can only do so much, ultimately my ex is a big girl and can make decisions for herself but she has made some pretty bad ones. Now she had some problems with me that she never told me about and talked to everyone that I know and she knows but never talked to me about them. Even as far as my exwife, brother, mother, and of course her own friend after each one and everyone else. I was aimlessly nullified about the whole thing. So we split up I got an apartment and she now has redone the whole house taken all pics down and changed everything up. New start. So we have communicated and have had sex, a lot more. However recently she and I both had myspace accounts that which we never touched for a while but now she is on every day. Her friend left her a message stating "I am deleting you for now until you have changed your profile and then you can add me back" So she went over to her house and changed it from in a relationship to divorced and moved my profile to the very back from number one. I saw that and threw a fit, called her and she said it's nothing but I am not changing it it's not that important. So I deleted myself from her account and tried adding myself back since we talked and calmed things down a bit but she never added me back, even though I requested to her myspace. I know she has seen it she loggs in everyday, and since then has added 3 other guys from her area or neighborhood, so when asked about that she replied why are you checking on my myspace and I am not dating anyone right now. So we have done things the last thing was I changed the phone number from my name to hers and she signed herself off my bank account and we had sex again. It was awesome. But back to the lack of communication again and lack of affection all over again. Yesturday I took her flowers and ran errands for her and picked up dinner for us to have last night and even picked up a treadmill for her and groceries, since she was so tired from coming back from east Texas last morning because her mom had surgery and I could see her exaughstion. So I did all this too and she never said I love you thank you, or even gave a hug or anything I had to do the can I have a hug and said I have to go and said I love you. Nothing in return. You know the last thing I said to her was I still like talking to you at night before bed, and she never called. She texted this morning saying thank you for picking up the dog and for dinner it helped, and that was it?? What to do people I am sooo tired of trying so hard I know a relationship doesn't have to be so hard but why is this one? I really need some advise guys.

From the little contact you have recently had with her sounds like
A. She is feeling the situation out to see if you truly changed
OR
B. She feels she can use you for whatever reasons.

You know what I was talking to one of my buddies last night, and discovered something. Last weekend before she left to her mother's and before we got together on Monday, she texted me "sorry left work early got what (son) has and felling really sick (son) and I have been in bed all day with the exception of going to the clinic and to the store. will ttyl." So last night I was showing my buddy her myspace and showed him her pics and found zoo pics from that same weekend. Alos one of her new guys had the same zoo picks of the same day on his myspaace, also her friend (The wonderful 39 yr old with a new boob job) messaged him why he took off her son's zoo pics off his myspace. He's a fireman and one thing she said she would never date was another fireman and or policeman. So now I find myself being lied to and whenever I would ask her if she would want to go out she would always say we'll see, and never give me a definite. So now I know why. Also received another text from her yesturday stating "It appears as though I will be very busy this wknd. Got lots to do & (her boss) was let go tdy so I will have to wrk. Don't b upset w lack of communication K :) ttyl" So here we go again, just seems like something to keep me from asking her out on a date this weekend as well.

I don't know why I am being put through this kind of torture, but if she wants to date why doesn't she just let me go?? You can't string someone along just in case your expected dating life doesn't turn out the way you plan it?

I think I need to stay off her myspace... I am sure eventually I am going to see something that is really going to hurt me bad. Bad enough she changed her profile from IN A RELATIONSHIP to DIVORCED. Which all that means is she is claiming herself singe and available.

Is there anyone who has more info??

WOW! Never saw a relationship over cyberspace before, and what a fight just by hitting keys. First off leave that darn sight alone. Saves drama, confusion, and bad feelings. Then decide what your actions will be. How about doing for yourself for a while and leaving her to do for herself. Trying to figure out a female is such hard work, when its easier to figure ourselves out. Do what you want to enjoy yourself, and be less available for her needs period. That means no sex, no errands, no helping out, no texting or myspace, and no phone calls and the confusion will end, and your feelings won't be as hurt, and you'll figure out how to have a real life, without her. Your doing most of this drama, to yourself. You are broken up, so why are you still at her beck, and call, when she has time, or needs something?

Yes I have found myself consumed because for the longest time I did set her up on a pedestal, she tells me she loves me very rarely I don't know to keep me around or maybe feel out how things feel? I don't know really, but to be honest with you guys last nights discovery of her being with another man already,, well really placed some sort of I don't know heartache and pain, really. She has added so many guys already she is just on a guy rampage so it seems. I thought she was the honest and true girl that she plays to be that she is dedicated and would never cheat on her man. Well this was already planned I suppose, but she never made the changes right away when we separated homes, but shortly after her friend deleted her off her profile until she made changes and then added her back. That was exactly what her friend with insecurity issues waited for. I know she is grown and makes her own decisions, but her friend doesn't help either. Maybe they are a match made in heaven I don't know really

You know I have read the sticky notes and yes I do understand that the NC rule is to be applied but wow that is sooo difficult to even think of. How do you know when it is good to answer?

When you have learned to love yourself, more than you love her, and have learned to cope, with your feelings, and her actions, and not be confused.

Ya Talaniman, this is sooo hard wish it didn't have to be sooo hard. Why don't women talk to you when they get to this point or before when they become happy. There has to be some sort of communication to eliminate this kind of thing before it goes too far. If she loves me like she says she does then why did we get to this point? Why is she dating other men why is she getting more and more men on her myspace? Why if she said the myspace is so much of a hassle between us that she would just delete it and never does? Why does she keep a friend that makes our lives or made our lives so difficult for so long? She has done this before a year ago and we survived it but then here it happened again. Same as usual right after her friend breaks up with her boyfriend and kicks him out here I am only I was moved out this time... I don't know maybe this was a good thing. I need to stop blaming and just keep moving, moving and moving and breathing.

There are other options, which you will see after you have healed, and built a life you enjoy without her in it. Trust me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pbc12

Alright guys back again, last year went through the same thing in a post under pablocruz696, now going through it again only this time moved out. It seems things made a change for the worse we split up right after the holidays and she got to meet the whole family, and once came back she was going to the gym with her friend who broke up with her long term boyfriend and started instagating the same. Now I know her friend can only do so much, ultimately my ex is a big girl and can make decisions for herself but she has made some pretty bad ones. Now she had some problems with me that she never told me about and talked to everyone that I know and she knows but never talked to me about them. Even as far as my exwife, brother, mother, and of course her own friend after each one and everyone else. I was aimlessly nullified about the whole thing. So we split up I got an apartment and she now has redone the whole house taken all pics down and changed everything up. New start. So we have communicated and have had sex, alot more. However recently she and I both had myspace accounts that which we never touched for a while but now she is on every day. Her friend left her a message stating "I am deleting you for now until you have changed your profile and then you can add me back" So she went over to her house and changed it from in a relationship to divorced and moved my profile to the very back from number one. I saw that and threw a fit, called her and she said it's nothing but I am not changing it it's not that important. So I deleted myself from her account and tried adding myself back since we talked and calmed things down a bit but she never added me back, even though I requested to her myspace. I know she has seen it she loggs in everyday, and since then has added 3 other guys from her area or neighborhood, so when asked about that she replied why are you checking on my myspace and I am not dating anyone right now. So we have done things the last thing was I changed the phone number from my name to hers and she signed herself off of my bank account and we had sex again. It was awesome. But back to the lack of communication again and lack of affection all over again. Yesturday I took her flowers and ran errands for her and picked up dinner for us to have last night and even picked up a treadmill for her and groceries, since she was soo tired from coming back from east Texas last morning because her mom had surgery and I could see her exaughstion. so I did all this too and she never said I love you thank you, or even gave a hug or anything I had to do the can I have a hug and said I have to go and said I love you. Nothing in return. You know the last thing I said to her was I still like talking to you at night before bed, and she never called. She texted this morning saying thank you for picking up the dog and for dinner it helped, and that was it???? What to do people I am sooo tired of trying so hard I know a relationship doesn't have to be so hard but why is this one? I really need some advise guys.

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Hello Friend,
I think I am also the right person to answer your question, becoz I just faced the same situation and also I came out of it, now I am hear to help u...

Only thing I can say it might hurt u, but this is best t." juss forget her and search for diff girl"