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-   -   High sex drive (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=189343)

  • Feb 28, 2008, 03:31 PM
    Renee31
    High sex drive
    Okay, I have a very high sex drive, how do I get my guy to keep up with me??
  • Feb 28, 2008, 03:44 PM
    topladyj
    I Don't Know And I Have A High Sex Drive Too. I Really Would Like To Find Someone With An Anwer To This Question!!
  • Feb 28, 2008, 03:46 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    A lot of couples usually come up with a happy medium.

    For example, they use the "in charge of days" method where one partner will initiate (if they want) one day, and then the other partner will initiate (if they want) the next day.
  • Feb 28, 2008, 06:08 PM
    Choux
    You have to have the kind of sex that really turns him on blindly!

    Get him out of the house.

    First, I would recommend that you have a quickie outside... if he isn't extremely turgid and panting over having his penis out in public... he never will be a super high-sexed guy. He may be a bit reserved in matters sexual... that's OK, too.

    Secondly...
  • Feb 28, 2008, 06:14 PM
    Synnen
    I'm the one with the lower sex drive in my house.

    Best way to get me in the mood? Take care of EVERYTHING. Seriously.

    No dirty dishes, no floors needing vacuuming. All the clothes washed, dried, put away. Dinner cooked, and the dishes done as he's cooking. Candles lit, wine poured, a bubble bath run.

    When I feel completely appreciated, that's when my sex drive is the highest.

    Granted, it doesn't take that much effort every single time.

    My husband and I had to come to a compromise years ago. I'm a once-a-week sort of gal, he's a 3 times a day kind of guy. The compromise is that he starts it 90% of the time. Sometimes I'm not in the mood at all, but MY side of the compromise was to go along with it 90% of the time. Usually by the time we get into making out a bit, even if I wasn't in the mood to start with, I'm in the mood. :D

    You have to TALK with your partner to work that out, though. I mean, seriously talk. Not nag, not beg, not demand--talk. Talk about what each of you likes in bed. Talk about how often, talk about how you feel when you don't get it, talk about how you feel when you do. Talk about how your partner is the best at "x".

    Honestly, if you can't talk about sex with your partner, you probably aren't having the best sex you could be anyway.
  • Feb 28, 2008, 06:35 PM
    Choux
    Very good observations, Synnen. Keep the talk and attitude positive... super advice. :)
  • Feb 29, 2008, 08:31 AM
    kp2171
    just agreeing.

    if your drive is high and you don't get satisfaction, you feel neglected and pent up. If your drive is lower, you may feel pressured, guilty, and not in the moment when you do submit. No fun for either side.

    so, as said, you need to talk it out and find middle ground, or reconsider whether you are sexually compatible.

    I love kissing and sex at night. My partner doesn't kiss nearly as much as id like and likes sex in the morning. So we compromise... I have sex in the morning. =)

    well, that's partly, OK mostly, true... but part of that is her schedule. She up early and exhausted late... its not about her being uninterested, its logistics and timing. Don't think I've ever used the word "logistics" when talking about sex before.

    also, as mentioned, you are in a place where you might have to drive sex, and that just adds another layer of frustration sometimes... everybody likes to be chased some... and if you are the only one chasing... again, you start to feel neglected.

    syn's situation and my situation are happy mediums... there isn't always compatibility, but there's open communication and thoughtful intent to please each other.

    so... talk it out.

    part of the problem is also likely tied to how your guy acts immature and holds back affection as mentioned in another thread you started... its all connected.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...an-189253.html

    and my other question concerns your desire to be pregnant.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...do-189245.html

    why? Hope its not to save this relationship. And is it possible that your trying to get pregnant is also part of your issues with your man?
  • Feb 26, 2009, 12:38 PM
    O_Troubles

    Do it when ever he or u wants if he doesn't use your hands or a toy there's nothing worng with getting yourself off or else your going to resent him for not being as high drive as you.
  • Feb 27, 2009, 06:25 AM
    smoothy

    Don't confuse a High sex drive with a habit to have sex often because you can. Its easy to do when you are very young.
  • Mar 1, 2009, 09:21 AM
    Ash123

    How old are you?

    How old is he?

    I find that most sexual mountains are not that high to climb with a little communication. Do you all communicate well.

    More later

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