Okay, I'm 21 yrs old and I have been on my own for 3 yrs. The way I became on my own was I left my parents house with out telling them, and stayed away for about a year with out any contact with them, I grew up in a mid class family , no abuse, nothing crazy a normal loving family, I had both parents with good jobs, 3 siblings, I'm the oldest, I guess you could call us the cosby family, I just don't know why its hard for me to stay in contact with my parents, I can go weeks and not talk to them and it doesn't phase me, when they bring it to my attention, I think about it and I feel horrible about it, but not until someone else says it. I love my family but why do I act as if they don't exist?? Please help me!!

Unless there are issues that need to be resolved, I would not fret too much... just understand their position.

When I was in my young 20's I often became consumed in my own life, and left those who loved me wondering where id gone. It wasn't malicious. I didn't have an axe to grind. I just was self-centered a bit and that was that.

If this is an issue for no other reason that you just get busy and that's that... take out a calendar. Mark on it to call or contact your parents... maybe every two weeks... or whatever seems like a reasonable time to keep them "at bay" and you're willing to try it. As the parent of an older girl at school now... if I don't hear from her or talk to her within 2 weeks, I start thinking about her more than not. Her mother talks to her every week, and sometimes multiple times.

So... write it down on a calendar... put it in writing on a thing you look at every day. See if this helps you keep contact.

I don't think you are in a strange place... again... without any more knowledge of issues. When I married later in my 20's and then had a child... that's when my contact with my mother became more regular...

Don't worry man, it's normal. I come from a similar background--I'm the youngest of three though--I've been living in my apartment at college for nearly three years. Before I moved out, my mom and I would clash something fierce, I had a filthy mouth. Now, we have the best relationship, and my relationship with my sister has become closer as well. I talk to them at least twice a week now, but I've gone weeks without speaking to them.

There just comes a time when a man needs space to grow and discover himself to know his own abilities and passions. Then, you will set goals for yourself and your life will have direction. No one can discover himself living under the direction of someone else, in this case it's your parents. Once you get your life in order you'll come around again.

I know I shouldn't apply my own experience to yours, but I've seen this happen with nearly all of my friends.

Some of us are just less emotional. I can end a relationship (family, friend, romantice, w/e) in a day and not think twice the next day (or the next few years) unless someone else brings it up. I've kind of wondered if there was something wrong with me too, to be so completely detached emotionally. But I keep meeting more and more people who are the same. So I don't worry anymore, I just try to make it a point to keep in touch with people.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Renee31

okay, im 21 yrs old and i have been on my own for 3 yrs. the way i became on my own was i left my parents house with out telling them, and stayed away for about a year with out any contact with them, i grew up in a mid class family , no abuse, nothing crazy a normal loving family, i had both parents with good jobs, 3 siblings, im the oldest, i guess you could call us the cosby family, i just dont know why its hard for me to stay in contact with my parents, i can go weeks and not talk to them and it doesnt phase me, when they bring it to my attention, i think about it and i feel horrible about it, but not until someone else says it. i love my family but why do i act as if they dont exist??? please help me!!!!

---

Hi renee
Don't take this as a big problem. You should always remember that something that is pure in this whole world is the love and care that is given to you by your parents. Try to spend more time with them. Get closer and mingle with them .which make you as well as them very happy...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Renee31

okay, im 21 yrs old and i have been on my own for 3 yrs. the way i became on my own was i left my parents house with out telling them, and stayed away for about a year with out any contact with them, i grew up in a mid class family , no abuse, nothing crazy a normal loving family, i had both parents with good jobs, 3 siblings, im the oldest, i guess you could call us the cosby family, i just dont know why its hard for me to stay in contact with my parents, i can go weeks and not talk to them and it doesnt phase me, when they bring it to my attention, i think about it and i feel horrible about it, but not until someone else says it. i love my family but why do i act as if they dont exist??? please help me!!!!

---

Me and my mum are like that we love each other sooooo much and get on great we just get on with our lives and we no that we are there for each other I no loads of people like that