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-   -   Confused, back in the dating scene (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=188991)

  • Feb 27, 2008, 04:08 PM
    princesgrl
    Confused, back in the dating scene
    So I just met this guy on Saturday night. My friend set us up forever she had been telling me that this guy and I needed to meet but at the time we were both in relationships. His ended and then shortly after so did mine. He ended up contacting me and we agreed to meet up at a friends house and hangout. He got there and was just perfect I liked everything about him. My friends liked him as well. I gave him a hug good bye that night and he wanted me to call him the next night. He ended up texting me that night and said that he had a good time and thanked me for inviting him. Then he didn't give me time to call him the next night he just text me first and we text back and forth for a while and that was it. We agreed to hangout again that week. Well I wasn't able to make it and told him that and he said it was cool and that we will hangout this weekend. I decided to text him last night to ask him about his day and didn't get a response and still haven't. I'm just wondering if I should text him again like on Friday since we decided to hangout this weekend but didn't make specific plans or should I just wait for him to call me? Help it's been 2 years since I've dated and I just am not sure what to do or if he even likes me!
  • Feb 27, 2008, 04:15 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Well, seeing as it's been 8 years since I've dated (recently got back in the dating scene), but I don't see why a text tomorrow or Friday saying, "What are the plans this weekend?" would be bad.
  • Feb 27, 2008, 04:47 PM
    topladyj
    Try and give him a call! I would ask him out for coffee or a game of pool/or bowling. You never know till you try and if he doesn't answer or call you back screw him.
  • Feb 27, 2008, 05:10 PM
    Rockstar714
    Don't call him, don't text him. Leave it up to him otherwise he will think you're chasing him. If he wants to keep your plans this weekend, then he'll contact you. If not, take it as a blessing as this guy obviously has no balls and find someone else, go out with your friends and have fun. :) Just please don't call him or text him. And if you don't believe me, do a search for Mimi Tanner and read her books, she absolutely works. Good luck.
  • Feb 27, 2008, 07:03 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rockstar714
    Don't call him, don't text him. Leave it up to him otherwise he will think you're chasing him. If he wants to keep your plans this weekend, then he'll contact you. If not, take it as a blessing as this guy obviously has no balls and find someone else, go out with your friends and have fun. :) Just please don't call him or text him. And if you don't believe me, do a search for Mimi Tanner and read her books, she absolutely works. good luck.

    What's wrong with the guy thinking the girl's chasing him? Maybe the dude's busy this week? Maybe he's sick? Maybe the text didn't even go through. Yes, I agree... don't obsess over this and just do what you do, but I'm also saying... why not give him a call? I don't see anything wrong with showing a little interest. It's not like the dude's going to be real cocky about a girl calling him.
  • Feb 28, 2008, 12:32 AM
    Rockstar714
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    what's wrong with the guy thinking the girl's chasing him? Maybe the dude's busy this week? Maybe he's sick? Maybe the text didn't even go through. Yes, I agree...don't obsess over this and just do what you do, but I'm also saying...why not give him a call? I don't see anything wrong with showing a little interest. It's not like the dude's gonna be real cocky about a girl calling him.

    What's wrong is that most guys think a girl is chasing them when the girl calls, because girls don't just call once or text once, they do it repeatedly. And then they read into it too much and obsess over it and it's a never ending circle. Maybe he is sick, he can still send a text back saying "hey, I'm sick, I'll talk to you when I'm feeling a little better" or something like that. You can show a little interest, but she already texted him and he didn't reply. If he really likes her, he'll call her.
  • Feb 28, 2008, 06:15 AM
    ISneezeFunny
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rockstar714
    Whats wrong is that most guys think a girl is chasing them when the girl calls, cos girls don't just call once or text once, they do it repeatedly. And then they read into it too much and obsess over it and its a never ending circle. Maybe he is sick, he can still send a text back saying "hey, I'm sick, I'll talk to you when I'm feeling a little better" or something like that. You can show a little interest, but she already texted him and he didn't reply. If he really likes her, he'll call her.

    Not all guys will think that the girl is "chasing" them. A lot of guys will take the call or the text as "she's interested" and will boost their ability to go after the girl. I think this is the problem in many cases... it's the "pride" war... where the girl has an idea that the guy is supposed to chase them, and the guy is scared to chase the girl because he's afraid she might reject him. Because of this, nothing ever happens. Sure, girls are thinking, "well if he doesn't have the balls to come after me...then he's not worth it" but to be honest, why are we ALWAYS chasing? It's not the way it's "supposed" to be.

    There's NO harm in a girl calling/texting a guy every now and then. So yes... don't OVERDO the calling/texting. You're assuming that if she calls/texts, she's going to go overboard on it. So... just... don't. Just call him once and leave him a message. Or... text him once, and let it go. If he doesn't respond within a day or two, let it go. If more girls showed how they felt towards a guy, dating would be... helluvalot easier.
  • Feb 28, 2008, 09:34 AM
    Rockstar714
    I agree, its good to let the guy know you're interested and not play too many games, but when I was in the dating scene I can't tell you how many guys were all "Yeah, I really liked you, but you called too much" and by me calling too much it was like if we had plans on Friday, I'd call on Thursday to make sure we were still on. Call and leave a message. But everynow and then is fine, I just know from experience that most girls can't stop there, and they freak out if he hasn't called back in an hour and they keep doing it.

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