Another almost funny joke, sort of.
DEEP THOUGHTS
· I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
· I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
· Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where is the ceiling?!"
· I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
· Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
· If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
· Me, getting smart with you?. How would you know?
· My Reality Check bounced.
· On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger near the escape key.
· I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
· You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
· I don't suffer from stress. I'm merely a carrier.
· I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
· There are two rules for ultimate success in life:
1. Never divulge everything you know.
· Tell me what you need, and I'll explain how you can get along without it.
· Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
