Originally Posted by kp2171
i think i take this differently.
my partner is beautiful and gets hit on. sometimes its by guys she likes. sometimes its not. i know of at least one man in mexico who would bed her in a second, when she visits on biz, and i know shes somewhat attracted to him. she likes latin men with deep voices. im white bread USA, and barry white has a few octives on me... though he does over most.
her opinion is that men and women often think differently concerning visual temptation... im not speaking for all women or all men... this is her opinion and mine... she believes most women, when they see a guy who is cute, nice butt, good smile, good teeth, might get a rise in temperature... but she rarely thinks "i wonder what he screws like in bed"... and if she does think about that guy sexually, it seems to be different, less primal, than a guys approach.
now... the best sex is usually experienced when theres some balance between mental and physical excitement. the person who loves one night stands (guy or girl) is tying in the mental danger/unknown components to amp up the physical sensation. the person in a longer toerm, monogamous relationship is tying in the comfort and love of the person to the physical interactions in bed. that said, i think many guys can look at a girl they find attractive and be "tempted", thinking though all the mental gymnastics of what kissing her or bedding her might be like. and then walk away from it without it being an issue. just like you walked by a tv showing a sex scene and then passed... its there, its gone.
so is your guy constantly looking around at other women, imagining himself bedding them? well... probably no and yes. guys are visual apes. why is porn such an issue with some men? why do guys like their women in lingerie? visual apes. though some women do respond to visual sexual stimuli, i think its a smaller number, at least concerning the type of stimuli.
i know more women who would rather read sex stories than watch porn. just my experience from talking to people i know... but ill bet most of the women i know have had, at least once in their life, a few erotic or boddice-ripper books in their bedroom. my wife has no less than three i know about, and maybe more i dont. how many of those women have dvd's or tapes of sex? some, im sure, but less, ill bet.
tho' even my partner, who has absolutely no interest in what is considered graffic sexual material, liked red shoe diaries. why? steamy enough visually, but it was tied to stories, an emotional buildup.
so when we see an attractive woman it isnt about comparing her to you... even though thats maybe how you feel... it isnt malicious and it isnt, in my mind, something you need to be concerned about unless there are other issues.
like i said... i KNOW there are guys hitting on my wife, making advances, and some she might even be interested in. im a jealous guy. more than happy to put a guy to the wall if he gets out of line. but... she stays true to me, comes home to me, and my trust in her lets me sleep well when shes in a bed a continent away.
she didnt stop being a sexual being once she married me, or even committed to me. she didnt stop thinking about what she prefers sexually and visually. as for me... she knows im going to see women that, if i were single, id chase down and pursue. she knows im going to walk by a woman with a pleasing perfume and it might stop me in my tracks. i might flirt a smile at the woman at the checkout, just as she might touch the arm of the boy at the bar buying her drinks and losing to her in pool.
dont be sad he is a sexual being that will find other women attractive. be happy that despite seeing other women and being tempted from time to time, that he is coming home to you. powerful stuff, not worth being sad over.
didnt mean for this to be so long. never am short on words.
