A little over two years ago my son (20 at the time) had his first bipolar episode while away in college. He had a three week relationship with a girl who was not on birth control and he was on drugs for about a month straight, cutting, burning himself, etc. My (and his) assumption is he also did not use a condom. When he came home for break it was more than obvious he needed some serious intervention. After a few doctor visits, etc. drug counseling, he was diagnosed as bipolar 1. He did not return to college, attended locally at home. He was not trusted by his psych to go back. Turns out, she's pregnant and wants to keep the baby. She tells my son she know he wants nothing to do with a baby and that they agreed she would take the morning after pill, but she chose not to. When the baby was born she sent a birth certificate to ourhome for my son to sign. He did. He began sending her $100.0 per month in a check. About six months after that he was petitioned to family court and ordered to pay 300.00 per month in child support (he makes $380.00 a month) attends college full time and holds down a terrific night job with benefits. So he pays the support. The baby is now 18 months old. He would like to see her and recently got in touch with the mother. She denied him. My question is this: can she do this ? She lives in PA, we live in NJ. The support is garnished from his wages, so after the support is taken out his paychecks are on average about $20.00 per week.

He was doing the right thing from the beginning by providing monetarily for the baby. She jumped from "okay you didn't want a baby, I know" to taking him to family court in her state (PA) and garnishing his wages for 300.00 a month. He takes the much needed time to get well, holds down a job (good thing), goes to college full time and wants to see his daughter. She says no, you didn't want her, so no. Can she really do that?



Who do we go to (in PA?) to get visitation started?

At that same time when she went to court to get child support there would have been a custody order issued, did he attend court, did he ask for court ordered visits.

So he finds out if there is a court ordered visitation plan, and if not, he takes her to court to order her to require visits.

The support and visitation are two separate issues. I mean it's great that he has keept current but that has nothing to do with visitation rights. He needs to find out in the original order if he has visitation as already said. If there was no visitation order made then he needs to get a court date with the family court that was used the first go round to get visistation.

He can also request that a Guardian Ad Litem be assigned to the case. The Guardian's job is to look out for the best interest of the child-- so she will look into whether regular visits are suitable given their situation, whether he is able to provide for his daughter during the time that he has her, etc. This gets everyone involved into home evaluations, etc, but it is a good way to go since his daughter's mother won't allow him to see her. His best bet would be to contact the court that set the child support (or his attorney, if he has one) and request that he be granted visitation time as well as for the Guardian to be assigned to the case.
GOOD LUCK!

Okay, so I gather that he should go back to PA family court (call ahead for an appt.) and schedule a hearing to request visitation? Is it possible they can deny him visitation and he will still be required to pay child support?

Visitation would have not been addressed at the child support hearing unless he had filed for visitation and had it added to the child support case. Child support and visitation are legally 2 separate issues... meaning, just because he is paying support, doesn't mean he automatically has visitation rights. The same is applied in reverse... he cannot stop paying support because he isn't seeing the child (not saying that his is trying that, but just so you see both sides).
At this point, yes, the mother can refuse visits because there is no current visitation order.

Your son needs to file at the courts for visitation.

Unless the mother can prove he is a danger to the child, they won't deny him visitation. It takes a lot of unnerving evidence to deny visitation altogether. What may very well happen, is what happened when my daugthers bio father went to court for visitation. He had not seen her in a year, so the courts ordered a graduated visitation schedule to build the child-parent relationship. You need to realize, this child has no idea who your son is to her. No judge in their right mind is going to say... "okay, you haven't seen this child ever, but go ahead and start taking her every other weekend."

Our visitation arrangement gradually increased. It started with a few hours a week, and I had to be there to supervise. Then it went to a few days a week, and I still had to be there. Then he was allowed to take her for a few hours etc etc.

The child's best interest needs to be the main focus.

And yes, if your son does not have sole/physical custody of the child he will still pay child support. Having visitation does not eliminate child support. The mother is still providing everything for this child while she is living with her.

If he doesn't have an attorney, then yes, he should probably go back to the family court in PA (or even call or stop at the family court where he lives to find out if he can do it through them or if he should indeed go to PA). It's always "possible" that the court can deny visitation-- however, it's unlikely. Since he lives in a different state than his daughter's mother, it will be harder to get a visitation schedule as common as every-other-weekend, but he should be able to get something established for visitation. As far as his being Bipolar, his daughter's mother or the court may request or order that he have a psychological evaluation, but as long as he's on any medication that he needs to be on and is doing well for himself and can prove that he can provide for his daughter while she would be in his care, then he shouldn't have a problem. My daughter's father is on his way to being an alcoholic and has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from being in the Army and serving 3 tours in Iraq- he even has nightmares as though he were still there- and the court had no problem granting him visitations, even over-night. The Guardian assigned to our case made that recommendation-- that's why I suggest that he request a Guardian- 90% of what the court rules is based on what the Guardian's report and suggestion is.

Also he might want to follow up on the support order because he needs to find out if it's a state minimum or if it can be amended to his current wage status since he is in school and has medical related expenses due to being bipolar. Otherwise he may not have enough left over to see his child even if he is granted custody of some kind. And kudo's to him for standing up and doing the right thing with getting straightened out and for parents that support him along the way .