Is this OK?
:confused:
I am 40 look like... 'bout 34... people say...
I met a guy 1 mo ago...
I am a nurse, he is a paramedic/ff, finishing the ff school in march. He moved back to his parents house until school is over.. its a fulltime schedule.
I am divorced have a 7 yo with me.
We live about 1 hr drive from each other.
I have no family in this country, so have no one to talk about these things...
My questions are:
Is it normal here, that in a new relationship people don't see each other often?. or is he most likely just using me for a "bootycall"?
He comes to see me only Saturday evening, and leaves Sunday before noon...
Last weekend he "did not have time" to see me, although he calls 3-4-5 times every day.
He says, he have to spend time with his parents, since he lives there now for free...
I don't understand...
I told him that we could be just friends, but he just kept repeating, that: "please dont talk like that, I want to be with u!...not as a friend!"
... but how can have a relationship without seeing each other?
I had to ask him, why on haven he wants to date me (age)?. he said, we have so much in common, which is true, very true... music, books, work, travel, view of many things... and the bed is awesome... but
... something is just not right about him having almost NO time for me...
Don't know what to do... nor think...
Any idea?
I would like to know some MENs opinions to.

The age thing is irrelevant, for the most part. You've got much bigger issues here.

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Originally Posted by Hajnal

Is it normal here, that in a new relationship people don't see each other often?. or is he most likely just using me for a "bootycall"? He comes to see me only Saturday evening, and leaves Sunday before noon...

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You met this guy a month ago, and already have overnight "bootycall" dates? Your seven-year-old IS watching, you know that, right?

With a child in the picture one would expect you would be on your best behavior modeling the way expect your child to carryout a courting relationship. Is this what you would instruct? Meet a guy and start sleeping overnight within the first month even if you're geographically challenged? You would TELL them that's OK to do? Really?

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last weekend he "did not have time" to see me, although he calls 3-4-5 times every day... He says, he have to spend time with his parents, since he lives there now for free... I don't understand...

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Yes you do, you just don't LIKE it. But you're choosing this relationship and ignoring all the signs that it might not be a good match for you, probably because you have "feelings" for him. Well, that's too bad. You have a mind as well as a heart. You're heart gets you out there on dates, your mind is supposed to keep you safe by helping you know right/wrong things to do and when it's not working out.

Are you ignoring your mind?

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I told him that we could be just friends, but he just kept repeating, that: "please dont talk like that, I want to be with u!...not as a friend!"

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Translation: "I know I'm busy but you're a great sex partner and I don't want to give that up."

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... but how can have a relationship without seeing each other?

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You cando that because you're allowing it. You ask the question because you know this is wrong, and now you're scrambling to find some reason to ignore your good sense. Don't do that.

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I had to ask him, why on haven he wants to date me (age)?. he said, we have so much in common, which is true, very true... music, books, work, travel, view of many things... and the bed is awesome... but... something is just not right about him having almost NO time for me... don't know what to do... nor think... any idea?

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Yes, I have an idea, and so do you. Why is HE in charge of whether you make good choices or not?

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I would like to know some MENs opinions to.

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I'm a man saying "raise your child". He/She is watching this relationship and forming some very solid beliefs about what is acceptable or not. You like a guy, fine, got to know him... fine... and already have progressed to a sexual relationship (less than a month, admit it) and that one step has completely destroyed your ability to judge this relationship accurately.

He's too busy because he's too busy. That's it, darling. He is an adult student, you're a GROWN PARENT. You two are so completely in different life stages, it hurts to read your story.

Well, at least the sex is good. That will be a little comforting when your child starts doing this same thing 10 years from now.

Hello,
Thank you for answering...
My kid is with her dad fri-mo morning... so that issue is out... she does not know about him, my ex either...
I don't know where you got that from!?
LOL I am a 40 y/o healthy woman my dear, and I am Not going to "sit around in the parlor" for I dontknowhowlong and contemplate on when is "appropriate" so sleep with some one... LOL... the time is right when I say its right.
In my opinion, if All of us would make love instead of wars, the whole world would be better... no one would be so frustrated sexually, that they have to act out otherwise...
I did sleep with him, the 2nd weekend... and I have all the protection on this planet...
Sir, You are a mean person, and probably frustrated to... and a pervert to think about my daughter seeing me having sex, or having a men over , and he sleeping in my room.
Do NOT ever, question my motherhood!!
I am a very good mother, and that was an underbelt hit!!
Anyway...
I don't think, one have to give up sex, just because one has a child... as You did... or been forced to... LOL
The rest of it probably true... I guess it always comes don't to this:
If one is in a relationship, if you like it take it and take care of it, if not... leave it... right?

Wow, you asked for an opinion, got it and now you are retaliatinging to the answer. Lets see now, you are a 40 year old healthy woman? OK, so lets say that you do use condoms. That still does not totally stop the chance for a STD. What happens if you get drunk, and run out of condoms? Unprotected sex and now you get an STD, or you get pregnant. Now you have a choice. Become a murder or bring an unwanted child into the world. Good choices! Having sex with a man you are not married to In my opinion is a sin. But that is your decision not mine. Doing so on his schedule on the weekends is really stupid. Sorry, I agree with the other posters.

<chuckle> Well, we respond here in the forum using only the info you give. Leave info out, well, you get what you get.

Read my post again. It's not mean at all, it's (at worst) cynical. To that I plead "guilty". But those of us providing a lot of feedback here to people such as yourself are coming from a place of experience and success in relationships. But that, too, is meaningless if we are responding to half-information and half-willingness to hear the answers.

So, yes, you're right. Take what you get is a pretty safe philosophy for you.

Since your original post left out all reference to how you keep your dating life secret from your kid, calling me a pervert because I worried about your daughter is pretty dumb. I don't think you're dumb, so I'll chalk that up to forum blindness, it's hard sometimes to read things accurately... it is a lot of words. Face to face / verbal is so much clearer. That's why I constantly advise people to keep the emails/texts to a minimum if possible.

If you're good mother, well we'll all have to take you at your word. But you got offended awfully quick, so whether you like me or my response is less of a concern to me as you actually getting my points and considering them all. As long as you honestly consider my response and before you THEN dismiss it... that's fine.

It is your life, but when you post places like this we will try to help with info we think will actually help you. Being "nice" is often also unhelpful, so I don't mince words. If you disagree with me/us, that's fine, but keep in mind we all just want you to succeed all the way around.