Ask Me Help Desk - I'm confused about what is wrong with me.

Hi, K first of all I thought I was pregnant because when me and my husband had sex the condom had came off. For just about that whole month I kept feeling weriod. My stomach would bloat up so huge it would hurt me. I could't lay on my stomach, just felt funny. I had several little headaches, moody. The day I decided to get a test I started my period. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I was 5 days late. But, the first day I only had little cramping and no blood at all. I only had brownish color on pad. Then the second day it got little heavy with bright red color. The kind of heaviness only lasted for 2 days then it got real lite. I usually only have a period for the most is 4 days. It's going on 6 and it's still lite pinkess color on toilet paper. Not enough to wear a pad. What do you think could be wrong? I wanted to be pregnant but, I don't know what to think or do. Should I take a test and see anyway? Any advise will help. Thank you.

It sounds like you might have miscarried. If you want to be certain than by all means take a pregnancy test, some women can have their period, or something close to it, for their entire pregnancy. Either way, good luck to you. Oh, quick question, if you want to get pregnant than why are you using condoms?

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

It sounds like you might have miscarried. If you want to be certain than by all means take a pregnancy test, some women can have their period, or something close to it, for their entire pregnancy. Either way, good luck to you. Oh, quick question, if you want to get pregnant than why are you using condoms?

The reason why we are using condoms is because me husband really doesn't want any more kids. But, I think if we were to have at least one more he would be OK with it. But, that's why. K, I have a question for you. If I did miscarried then wouldn't it of hurt or something? Or do women really ever know if they had one or not. K, thanks for answer.

Sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner, I was having internet problems all day yesterday.

As to you question about miscarriage's, if it's early in the pregnancy you might not even notice, it might just feel like normal menstrual cramps. I have read somewhere that 1/3 of all pregnancies miscarry before the women even suspects she might be pregnant.

One thing that I do want to mention. If your husband doesn't want another child and you are trying to get pregnant this is a sure fire way of ending up in divorce court. If you want another child then discuss this with your husband, this is a decision that both of you have to make. How many kids do you have now?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner, I was having internet problems all day yesterday.

As to you question about miscarriage's, if it's early in the pregnancy you might not even notice, it might just feel like normal menstrual cramps. I have read somewhere that 1/3 of all pregnancies miscarry before the women even suspects she might be pregnant.

One thing that I do want to mention. If your husband doesn't want another child and you are trying to get pregnant this is a sure fire way of ending up in divorce court. If you want another child then discuss this with your husband, this is a decision that both of you have to make. How many kids do you have now?

Hi, we have one boy right now. He is almost 5. See the thing about my husband is that if he don't want it then no one gets it. I live without a lot of stuff. Me and my son wants a dog to, can't have. I think he wouldn't mind having another one. Just maybe not right now. He already told me that if I was to get pregnant again he wouldn't leave me or anything like that. So, I don't' know. Well, I need to get off for a little while and go make dinner. Thanks for writing back. Later.

I would wait a while and bring up the topic of having another baby in a few years. Is it that your husband is controlling "if I don't want it knowone gets it" or is he trying to save money so that he can get his family further ahead.

Babies are allot more expensive that a car or a dog, if he doesn't want one of those, and he has expressed that he doesn't want another child right now or a cat or dog, then I think you should wait. He might not leave you if you got pregnant, but it could ruin your relationship with him. Remember, knowone likes to be forced into something, and that is what you would be doing.

I hope this helps. Good luck to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I would wait a while and bring up the topic of having another baby in a few years. Is it that your husband is controlling "if I don't want it knowone gets it" or is he trying to save money so that he can get his family further ahead.

Babies are allot more expensive that a car or a dog, if he doesn't want one of those, and he has expressed that he doesn't want another child right now or a cat or dog, then I think you should wait. He might not leave you if you got pregnant, but it could ruin your relationship with him. Remember, knowone likes to be forced into something, and that is what you would be doing.

I hope this helps. Good luck to you.

I know, I understand what your saying. When someone tells me that I can't have something, then it makes me want it more. He is controlling. He never brought up money. He has a great job that pays good. And right now I stay home cause he doesn't help me with getting out child to school. One day I was bad sick and he still wouldn't take him. I had to call a friend and get up and get him dressed. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband but, he doesn't do a lot to help me out. Like getting the kid ready for bed, school, etc... all that good stuff. And when I was working and until this day, we have separate checking accounts. I babysit right now but, the money goes straight to him to help out with bills. But, the whole kid thing. He was happy when I told him that we were pregnant. We are kind of young. I got pregnant at like 19 and he was 20 or something like that. We have lots of family that helped if we needed it and we didn't. We would't now if I was to get pregnant again. I'm just tired of having to do everything he says. Like it's his way or no way. And I'm not going to have anyone tell me what to do my whole life. Do you get what I'm saying? I'm not saying I want one right this minute but, it would be nice to have the option. But, I agree with you. Maybe when my time comes it will happen and we both will be happy. I just don't want my son to be the only child. He is always saying that he wants a little brother or sister to play with. Oh, and another thing about my husband, he will leave the house at 9 in the morning to go shooting with his guy friends and not come home until late. Leaves me without a car, what if something happened? He doesn't check in to let me know he's OK or anything like that. To me, he is acting like he doesn't have a family. Sorry, I need to stop. I'm getting into deep here. That's a different subject. But, I do get what your saying. Thanks.

Hey, it's your thread, if you want to discuss something else that's up to you, besides, it's all related.

It sounds like you aren't in a very good relationship right now, or at least the relationship could use some help. How about trying couples therapy?

Also, why would you want to bring another child into this world if he doesn't even help out with the first one? It sounds to me like you are depressed and think that a baby will bring some sunshine back into your life. Maybe (without being aware of it) you think that having another baby will bring you and your husband closer. If so, then you want a baby for all the wrong reasons.

Sort out your relationship with your husband first, don't bring another child into this world just because that's what you want, a baby deserves more than that. I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you.

Let me know how you're doing. Maybe voicing your concerns to your husband might help your situation. Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Hey, it's your thread, if you want to discuss something else that's up to you, besides, it's all related.

It sounds like you aren't in a very good relationship right now, or at least the relationship could use some help. How about trying couples therapy?

Also, why would you want to bring another child into this world if he doesn't even help out with the first one? It sounds to me like you are depressed and think that a baby will bring some sunshine back into your life. Maybe (without being aware of it) you think that having another baby will bring you and your husband closer. If so, then you want a baby for all the wrong reasons.

Sort out your relationship with your husband first, don't bring another child into this world just because that's what you want, a baby deserves more than that. I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you.

Let me know how you're doing. Maybe voicing your concerns to your husband might help your situation. Good luck.

Hi again. Our relationship is doing a little better. We did use to fight a lot. But, now I would say it's 70 percent better. We use to fight all the time cause things would go his way or he would go out and make plans without asking me if I wanted to do something. He use to go camping all the time with his friends and not let me go or anything like that. See my sister is pregnant and so is another family member. Maybe that's why I want another one. It's me thinking it would grow me and my husband closer together. I guess you could say I'm jealous. Is that wrong of me? I do want to concentrate on losing weight first. See my husband use to call me fat all the time too, just because I didn't get back into my size 3. Oh well, I'm not big big but he doesn't like my body and neither do I. I want to lose 50pds. But, its hard for me to get motivated. But, back when we were fighting a lot I did bring up couples thereapy. But, he wouldn't go for that. So, once again he didn't want to do it, so we didn't. I've gave in a lot to him. I don't argue with him when he goes out with friends now or start fights. But, I can only take so much. Like he is working all this week and we were suppose to do something Sunday before he had to work again. But, no. Since he stayed out so late Saturday night with the guys and got drunk, he slept all day Sunday. Therefor, we didn't go anywhere. Now I have to wait 2 weeks. K, I will write again later. One of my favorite shows are on. Thanks for all your input. I get what your saying.

Sorry I also forgot to say that I have talked to my husband but, he doesn't care. It's hard to get him to sit down and listen to me. It usually never happens. I either have to forget about it or it ends up in a fight. And those never turn out good. Well, it was nice talking to you. Got to go for now.