The father and I are not married, but we have lived together and have two other children in our relationship. Our oldest son came with dad and mom abandonded 6.5 years ago. She calls him once in a while and that is about it. She moved to CT and has stayed there ever since she left. She has not made any attempts at seeing him and even had another child. I want to adopt my 10 year old son as my own.

Do we have to get married first?

Does she have any rights in the state of WAshington?

Where do I start with a motion to take away her rights?

Thanks

Julie

It would make things easier if you were married. Either way, you need to file a motion with the Family Court in your county of residence. The bio mother will have to be given the opportunity to contest or consent to the adoption. Does she pay support? If not, that'll weigh in your favor if she contests the adoption. The fact that she only phones sporadically will help your case also.

You can not adopt your " step son " because he isn't your step son. If you were to try to adopt him then the father also would have to sign over his rights because your not married you are a separate entity in the eyes of the law. You need to check with your local laws to see how everything applies. In a lot of states you must be married a certain amount of time before any sort of adoption can take place. Do not do this without consulting a good lawyer and dotting every I and crossing every T. Make sure that everything gets a courts stamp of approval.

As stated... if you were wanting to adopt the child into your "relationship" you will need to be married because as of right now the child isn't even a step child to you... legally of course.
Most states require you to be married a year before they will allow for step-parent adoption.
The easiest way to then go about it is by having the mothers consent. If she consents to relinquish her parental rights to allow for you to adopt the child, things will go much easier.
If you are trying to terminate her rights, this is a very difficult task. If you are trying to use abandonment as grounds to terminate you will have to check your laws to see is she guilty of that. In Ohio it is a year of no child support AND no contact. Every time she calls to talk to her child, the slate is wiped clean.
But if it goes that long with no child support AND no contact, you could file to terminate her rights on the grounds of abandonment. It is then in the courts hands as to what they think is best for the child.