I live in NY state. Do I have to have a legal separation before a divorce? My husband refuses to go to a marriage counselor.

I'm not sure of the legalities, but I would suggest that it is SMART to do so. Before you dive fully into divorce proceedings, making sure you have established what your life will look like ahead of time during the separation is the way to go.

You don't really want all your stuff and yourself still in the house when you officially tell him you want a divorce, do you? A softer first step may be safer all around.