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-   -   On my mind. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=186667)

  • Feb 21, 2008, 01:45 PM
    kungpow
    On my mind.
    So this has been on my mind for a while, I am the father on my daughters birth certificate and have been soul supporter of her since day one. My daughter is now one and a half and I got with my fiancée when she was about four months pragnet with her. My question is if I have been dad in every way but being the sperm donor, what rights would I have if the sperm donor ever did come back in the picture, however not likely.
  • Feb 21, 2008, 02:19 PM
    talaniman
    The name on the birth certificate, is the presumed father, until someone can prove otherwise, and only a court can change that, with ample evidence, most notably a DNA test.
  • Feb 21, 2008, 02:51 PM
    twinkiedooter
    I highly doubt a sperm donor will come forward in this case. Why would your fiancée use a sperm donor in the first place. I am skeptical of this statement.
  • Feb 21, 2008, 03:56 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I doubt anyone will come forward, but basically you committed fraud when you knew you were not the father but signed anyway. In some states in the US after an amount of time there can not be a challenge. But in some states 10 years from now the real father can come and prove in court with DNA that he is the father and get visit rights. Also remember that if you divorce latter you will also be paying child support for a child that is not yours.
  • Feb 21, 2008, 03:58 PM
    macksmom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by twinkiedooter
    I highly doubt a sperm donor will come forward in this case. Why would your fiancee use a sperm donor in the first place. I am skeptical of this statement.

    I think the OP is not meaning an acutal sperm donor from an anyomous person, rather a deadbeat dad who hasn't been involved in the child's life at all and his only contribution was his sperm to make the child. Many people call such "fathers" sperm donors.

    To the OP:

    As stated, since you are on the birth certificate you are legally the father. The bio father would have to come forth and challenge you and would have to pay for a paternity test for the child.
    If that were to happen and he is proved to be the father, then it would be up to the courts to decide what is in the best interest of the child... wethere to terminate the rights of the bio father for abandonment (which is usually 1 year without contact or support) and allow you to adopt, or whether to give the bio father all his parental rights.

    Since you are on the birth certificate, the bio father would have a lot of leg work to do, and it would cost some money to challenge you.
  • Feb 21, 2008, 05:26 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    But you have a hard choice also, about telling the child the truth as they grow up. It would be hard for them to learn this 40 years latter when some medical need comes up. Or some man comes up when she is 17 and claims to be her father.

    This is hard call, I am not saying to do this or that, but it is something to think about, we get people here both sides, some hate their "parents" when they find out they were lied to all those years, and so on.
  • Feb 23, 2008, 11:52 AM
    kungpow
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by twinkiedooter
    I highly doubt a sperm donor will come forward in this case. Why would your fiancee use a sperm donor in the first place. I am skeptical of this statement.

    By sperm donor mean the paternal father. This man was with her for a short time got her knocked up and then left. Sorry for the confusion.
  • Feb 23, 2008, 12:05 PM
    s_cianci
    If your name is on the birth certificate then you are the legal father and have all of the corresponding rights and responsibilities. If the "sperm donor" were to return it's not unlikely that he'd get very far if in fact you've been a stable father figure in her life from birth.
  • Feb 23, 2008, 02:36 PM
    GV70
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    But in some states 10 years from now the real father can come and prove in court with DNA that he is the father and get visit rights. Also remember that if you divorce latter you will also be paying child support for a child that is not yours.

    Not only visit rights but legal custody,too./Maine for an example/

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