I've started dating a girl, we are now in a relationship. She is nice, caring,friendly etc... What bothers me is I always have to initiate the first level of affection i.e. kiss or a cuddle. After this she does it off her own back too... I know she was hurt in the past and thnks "all guys are the same" but I think she is beginning to trust me more whichis a good thing... She asked me last night what I thought of her when I first laid eyes on her, I smiled and turned the question back at her. She then said I thought you were "alright" I felt hurt by this... I don't know if she was just trying to not act too keen as I may take advantage of this... but as we spoke about it she said "no i thought u were lovely" and on another subject she said you are a "good looking guy"... I do have low self esteem and was just wondering if I am just being paranoid and it is just a bit of "tongue & cheek"... I guess I'm frightened of not being liked... I want there to be that initial pyhsical spark between us as I had it with her when I 1st saw her.


Please let me know your opinions, it feels good to chat about these things??

Stop holding your cards to your chest. If a woman asks you what you thought of her when you first met her that is was the perfect opportunity to comment her. I'm assuming your are physically attracted to her why did you say something like... I thought and you still think that she was very sexy, hot, pretty, beautiful, cute or just about any positive adjective that would describes her. To get some bonus points stated place, time and if you really good what she was wearing.
She gave you a defensive answer because didn't answer her question you reversed it. If you can't even express how you felt about when you first met her…it tells her you are not all in.
You're not being played for a fool... but you are acting foolish.

Deal with your own issues, as you may be projecting them to her. I hope your both patient enough to see through your own insecurities, and fears.

I have constantly told her how lovely I think she is and compliment her every time we are out... she replies by saying thanks.she never returns the compliment... it's not the first time she has said the 1st night she seen me she thought I was "alright"... when I make out to her that I'm shocked she only thought that then she will say "I THOUGHT U WERE LOVELY" its as if she is only saying that cause I didn't like what I heard.

We have spoke about past relationships etc she mentioned one guy who when she was with him thought he was lovely not "alright"... I don't even know if I'm making sense here... but I don't feel she is that much attracted to me whereas I am and I have told her...

How long did you date, and how old is the relationship? It seems as you need a lot more than she is willig to give at the moment.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

How long did you date, and how old is the relationship?? It seems as you need alot more than she is willig to give at the moment.

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Tal, we dated for about 2 months and have been in a relationship for just over 2 months now... Shetold me after the initial comment that she actually thought I was "lovely" but I just keep thinking is why not just say that in the 1st place... maybe she feels embarrassed at times to say it I just can't work it out

4 months, and your already expecting her to read your mind, and stroke your ego? Drop those self serving questions, as they help your mind play tricks on you, and relax, and have fun getting to know this stranger. I think you expect too much, to fast, and its much to early, for her to be that sure of this relationship, or you, as truthfully, you are a stranger to her also. Confident men never ask a female if they like them, or not, because they know by the females actions, so pay more attention to what she does, and not what you want her to say, or do.