Ask Me Help Desk - Is he really over his ex

My an my boyfrind have been together almost a year now. About a month into our relationship he cheated om me with his ex girlfriend(they were together for 5 years) I found out when she called me at work an told me. The very next day my boyfriend went with her to the store for some meds because her stomach hurt.
My boyfriend told me he cheated because he was not over her but he promised me that NOW it was all out of his system.
Since that has happened the ex still calls an texts him an they talk like old friends. He used to go to her house a lot to "check for mail" but never came back with any until I told him to stop.
He tell me he's over her when I ask but he can't help but ask how she doing sometimes.
Personally I don't think he's over her after all the heartache I went trough he still has to nerve to give a damn how she is doing.
I seen messages from her telling him not to call anymore but he saya she has been saying that since he knew her.
Anyway wats your opinons do you think he's over her

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSW6314

my an my boyfrind have been together alomst a year now. about a month into our relationship he cheated om me with his ex girlfriend(they were together for 5 years) i found out when she called me at work an told me. the very next day my boyfriend went with her to the store for some meds because her stomach hurt.
my boyfriend told me he cheated because he was not over her but he promised me that NOW it was all out of his system.
since that has happened the ex still calls an texts him an they talk like old friends. he used to go to her house alot to "check for mail" but never came back with any untill i told him to stop.
he tell me hes over her when i ask but he can't help but ask how she doing sometimes.
personally i dont think hes over her after all the heartache i went trough he still has to nerve to give a damn how she is doing.
i seen messages from her telling him not to call anymore but he saya she has been saying that since he knew her.
anyways wats your opinons do you think hes over her

TO be honest this relationship was damaged when he cheated. Relationships are hard enough as it is and to make it worse he cheated and still talk to the woman he cheated with, Honestly you can't fault him for doing what he is doing because you are allowing it. When you got back with him that meant you forgave him. If he was truly, truly over her he wouldn't be so concerned with checking in after she told him she didn't want him to call. He is the one initiating the contact with the ex it seems therefore I am going to say he is not fully over her. The next question is do you want to be with him? Honey go with your heart and intuition and because you forgave him for cheating you can't keep holding it against him anything beyond this point will be your fault I think you should let him go.. One can only do to you what you allow... Stand your ground.. besides how long have they be broken up before you and him hooked up??

I'm sorry you are hurting right now! Honestly, it sounds to me like he isn't over her. The fact that she has told him many times not to contact her, and yet he does, says a lot. He shouldn't have been going over to her house like that. It sounds to me like he probably wasn't "checking his mail" over there.

This guy obviously still has feelings for her. I'm not saying people can't be friends with their exs, I know people who are and it's no problem. But spending all that time talking on the phone and at her house, that's not sounding right to me. Plus she obviously doesn't want to be friends with him if she told him not to contact her.

I think the best thing might be for you to leave this relationship. I hate to say it, but it sounds like this guy isn't able to commit to you right now. You deserve someone who will put you first in their life. Don't waste your time on this guy!