I am a freshman college student. I have always been a shy and quiet person, but warmed up to friendly people fairly quickly. Now that I'm older things have gotten worse. When I am confronted by acquaintances and strangers I tend to give one word responses and can rarely keep a conversation going. I fear talking to "anyone" because I can't hold a conversation. I feel like I end relationships before they even start. It upsets me tremendously and causes me to want to be alone. I have no relationships and I feel no one wants to be around me. Can anyone give me some tips for keeping a conversation going or enlighten me further to any solutions. Thank you

Damien
Houston
TX

Hey, ho wow are you ? I was reading your page and I kind of had the same problem my advice to you is to as more questions like think of things that you like to do or would want to do. Like I love music and may just start a conversation off music and things go from there. Just ask questions but don't get to personal to fast because everyone doesn't like that. Oh and be friendly and so that it seems that you're a easy person to talk to just loosen up a little. And just let your personality do all of the work

Why don't you join a club at school or some sort of an interest group in which you're somewhat forced to interact with people? Or perhaps volunteer?

I understand your hesitance when talking to strangers, but really... perhaps it'd be better to talk to someone younger? By younger, I mean... 6 - 7 year olds?

My brother (14) had this problem when he hit puberty (still going through it). He wouldn't talk to any of his friends... for fear of rejection, being made fun of, etc.

So I volunteered him at the local pre-school to play with kids and help them to learn the alphabet and count... and since they were just children, he warmed up to them pretty quickly, and then he later began talking to the parents and the teachers...

Now he has a group of friends and is pretty outgoing. Try it.

Also, I look at it sort of like asking a girl out. You fear rejection... not sure what to say... but really, what have you got to lose? Approach someone and talk to them. See what happens.

Go get a part time job waiting tables. Being a server is a good way to practice your social skills and gain social confidence. It's fun, too.

Damien, what activities do you like to participate? What are your hobbies? Are there a few things that you are very good at that you're proud of and feel confident?

I know how you feel. I basically stopped caring. Seriously. I used to worry so much about meeting new people because I never know what to say and I find it nearly impossible to kee a conversation going. I finally accepted that I was just a shy quiet person. So instead of worrying about it I decided to get used to and enjoy the silence. If someone else is making the effort to have a conversation, I'll make an attempt to keep it going by answering their questions. If they stop talking or asking questions though I don't bother trying to fill the silence. Some people stop trying to talk to me. Others accept me for me and continue trying to talk to me and eventually I become comfortable around those people and they complain I won't shut up. Ha. Love yourself and others will love you too.

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Originally Posted by dedwisb97

I am a freshman college student. I have always been a shy and quiet person, but warmed up to friendly people fairly quickly. Now that I'm older things have gotten worse. When I am confronted by acquaintances and strangers I tend to give one word responses and can rarely keep a conversation going. I fear talking to "anyone" because I can't hold a conversation. I feel like I end relationships before they even start. It upsets me tremendously and causes me to want to be alone. I have no relationships and I feel no one wants to be around me. Can anyone give me some tips for keeping a conversation going or enlighten me further to any solutions. Thank you

Damien
Houston
TX

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Just ask them questions about themselves and if you find that they like somenthing you like or somenthing you know about talk to them about it and maybe you will become friends if they talk aboout things you don't know about then just talk about things everyone knows about like college and the calsses you take and try to be funny that always works