I was on NC for a while; he called and texted me recently to catch up as he just got back from overseas. I tried to ignore/avoid him but we met last night. As usual, he gave me hope again. My heart is very unsettled now. I know I'm going to fall back into the same pit, deep, dark and horrible place, that really hurts and I don't want to go there anymore. I thought I have already let go. Why is that my heart still unsettled?

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Originally Posted by yeye82

I was on NC for a while; he called and texted me recently to catch up as he just got back from overseas. I tried to ignore/avoid him but we met last night. As usual, he gave me hope again. My heart is very unsettled now. I know I'm going to fall back into the same pit, deep, dark and horrible place, that really hurts and I don't want to go there anymore. I thought I have already let go. Why is that my heart still unsettled?

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I was in the same situation a few months ago, I have to be honest I thought the same way as you however we ended up back together, and I am happy for the most part... however, depsite that I REALLY love him, I know deep down inside it won't hurt me if he walked away tomorrow the same as he hurt me the first time, although I am optmisitic about my relationship, I also have got over that fear of being hurt again, and now we I don't speak to him for a few days I don't feel any kind of way... the distance has allowed me to accept the fact that he may not always be there but when he is I can embrace it and enjoy what I have... Not all are able to do this but I've been through enough to not let that hurt happen again... but everyone is different, and it is totally normal to feel doubt at times, but doubt will always show it's ugly face even with a new relationship... its apart of life. But the best advice I can give is to go with your heart and definitely your intuition... GOOD LUCK'

He did it again to me. Just like I expected. Texted to say he couldn't see me tonight with a lame excuse. He could make time for most of his friends but when it comes to me, there's always something more important. Though he doesn't admit he's discriminating/excluding me from his life but there's no sharing at all. He's controlling and manipulating me for as long as we are together. I had enough of all this as it hurts. I'm not happy with this/him. Should I tell him that I want to end this relationship? Or just go back on NC?

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Originally Posted by yeye82

He did it again to me. Just like I expected. Texted to say he couldn't see me tonight with a lame excuse. He could make time for most of his friends but when it comes to me, there's always something more important. Though he doesn't admit he's discriminating/excluding me from his life but there's no sharing at all. He's controlling and manipulating me for as long as we are together. I had enough of all this as it hurts. I'm not happy with this/him. Should I tell him that I want to end this relationship? Or just go back on NC?

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Okay, now if this is not what you want simply tell him, and then Do the NC, that way you have closure for your own sanity... If he can't make you a priority or give you that time let him go...

Sometimes, not contacting him seems like it hurts more than the ty contact does when it's happening. I've figured out if I'm contacting him, then I want to see him, once I see him I want to see him more and he is never willing to extend that kind of time to me- but he will to other people.

I wish I could take my own advice in telling you to keep the silence and occupy yourself as much as humanly possible to avoid having a moment of weakness!

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I thought I have already let go. Why is that my heart still unsettled?

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Your not really over him.

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I had enough of all this as it hurts. I'm not happy with this/him. Should I tell him that I want to end this relationship? Or just go back on NC?

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BOTH! Tell him your through with this rollercoaster, and stick to NC!

Thanks Jolienoire and wizzlet