I've only been with him for 3 months, after 2 I began to felt trapped. He wanted to see me 24/7, he knew he couldn't but if I wasn't with him he would constantly be texting me, I foolishy reply as he is impatient, but none of my friends seem to text there boyfriends all the time. I can be at uni in lectures and even if I tell him that he still texts. I know the simple answer is to say look if I'm in lectures I may not be able to reply, but I'm sure he would still text anyway.
I'm in a tricky situation as I just don't know what I want, I like him lots, but his feelings for me are a lot lot stronger than mine for him. I feel its unfair as he puts in more effort than me. I've considered breaking it off, but then I think ill be lonely and worry ill never find anyone else, but I'm no sure if I'm happy or not. I have messed him round a lot, and he always comes running back.
I'm not sure if I'm just not a shallow self centred attention seeker, but then if that was the case I would want his texts. I don't want to be without him but I have these feelings about breaking up all the time.
I don't know what to do

If you want to stay and see how it goes with him, maybe you should tell him you need a little space to yourself. Not like I'm braking up with you space, just space that you need for yourself and see what he says. You never know when like might turn into love. And maybe he is feeling love for you already and is scared to lose you so he calls/txts you all the time, but in realty its probably pushing you away.

Talk to him about how he's making you feel, if he can't understand and doesn't change end it.

He sounds like he's young and is really worried about keeping you as his girlfriend, but he needs to be told and understand you need time alone too.

Have an honest conversation with him about how you feel. Maybe he will ease off. He probably just enjoys contacting you, but explain that you need your space sometimes. Tell him that there are times, like during classes, when he needs to not bother you on the phone.

If you feel like he feels differently than you, or like you don't really want to be in the relationship now, then don't feel badly if you have to tell him that. If you feel like you two are on totally different pages, then the best thing might be to break it off before he becomes more attached to you. But, only you can decide that. Take some time and think about it. But don't stay with him just because you are afraid to be alone, because if you feel this way after only a few months, it probably won't improve over time. But then on the other hand, maybe he will change after you talk with him and the problem will be solved. Good luck!

Thanks for getting back so quick, the thing is I have been on a break and I gave him that chance as before I never did tell him how I felt I just said I don't want to be with you. He pestered and pestered and I'm worried its obbession not love? I feel bad when I keep changing my mind, but since I told him what I didn't like before he has tried so so hard and that's what makes me think try and stick it out, but since I said I would try I've felt sick and not hungry and I don't read his messages straight away, its not like I look forward to hearing from him, but I don't know why I still sort of feel I want to be with him at times. He isn't young he is actually quite mature, he's very very deep and grown and takes everything very seriously. I'm a very serious person but sometimes you need fun as well.
I know my head is so messed up, and the more contact I have with him the more I'm leading him on when I don't know what I want, but he keeps messaging me saying he can't live without me, he needs me, I'm his other half, he cares so much, he's realised how much he has missed me etc, it does touch me, but I'm not sure if his behaviour is normal?
Argh its stressful!

If you're having doubts, I would take a break. I mean, it sounds like you are afraid he might be kind of obsessed with you. I'm not saying this is the case with this guy, but sometimes when a guy acts really obsessed and won't take no for an answer, it can be a warning sign that he is an abuser. My friend was with a guy who kept crying when she broke up with him until she took him back and he would text her all the time like that. He would get mad if she didn't text him back right away. Then he started saying she was cheating if she didn't text him, and he started getting abusive with her. So, that's why all the texting seems like a warning sign to me. But, I'm not saying that's the case with your guy. Just be careful. If he starts getting angry when you didn't reply or if he starts trying to keep you from seeing friends and stuff then drop him. I don't want you to get hurt like my friend did!

Well my friends took an instant disliking, but I don't know whether that is partly jealousy due to them being single and desperate for a boyfriend. My dad dislikes him as he think all this is harassment. I think I'm being influenced by others but no matter how much I try to clear my mind I don't know what I want. I think obviously if I ended it I would be upset but I'm sure I would get over it, as I would just try and concentrate more on uni as that is SO important to me. But the way I am is I care so much about others, the amount of times I'm said to him look its not working, or I want a break, he goes all charming and pesters me, which I have to say was getting annoying. I'm just petrified after saying yesterday I would try to work at things, and seeing him try so hard to then turn round again and say no. if I said it I would have to make my mind up its final and I would have to stop replying to him, but it breaks my heart to see how in to me he is and how much I will upset him AGAIN, I just keep changing my mind all the time and I feel like such a its untrue!

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I like him lots, but his feelings for me are a lot lot stronger than mine for him. I feel its unfair as he puts in more effort than me. I've considered breaking it off, but then I think ill be lonely and worry ill never find anyone else, but I'm no sure if I'm happy or not. I have messed him round a lot, and he always comes running back.

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This is one unhealthy, uequal relationship. Bring it to a merciful ending.

I see I need to, but he REALLY won't leave me alone, we work together, we see each other out, he texts, he facebooks me, I know the simple option is to ignore, or even delete without reading, but its easier said than done, he's never done anything to me I don't hate him, I just don't have the feelings I used to have for him, but when he texts me messages saying nice things and it proves he's trying I feel sorry for him and it upsets me to see how hard he is trying?

I feel selfish for not trying and not wanting to, I've told him it's a one sided relationship because he is puttin in all the effort all for me, I'm doing nothing for him, but he says it doesn't matter and I should work at it for him, but half of me wants him, half doesn't as I can only remember the negative things not the positive! When he doesn't text me I'm waiting for it, but when he does I don't want it, I'm crazy!

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Originally Posted by lopsided

i feel selfish for not trying and not wanting to, ive told him its a one sided relationship because he is puttin in all the effort all for me, im doing nothing for him, but he says it doesnt matter and i should work at it for him, but half of me wants him, half doesnt as i can only remember the negative things not the positive! when he doesnt text me im waiting for it, but when he does i dont want it, im crazy!

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You want attention, and you got it... What you get is what you wished for at some point, I think your just confused all together.. for your own sanity, get your thoughts together before you confuse yourself, and him... Take a break until you can figure out what you really want... I don't think you are sure... and he may be a great guy, but you are just not ready... If he can't give you space then he has major issues too...

I've not really seen him for a month, but we have had constant text conversations so I've not had that chance. I can't keep him waiting any longer. I've just been looking at symptoms of depression and they all apply to me, I'm worried now, as I just don't ever feel happy. I'm sure he is a great guy, but we have our differences and its some of them things I can't deal with. I don't want to go back to what we had, but I can't take the risk of trying again. I've got a check up at the doctors tomorrow, perhaps they can advice me on my unhappiness and maybe advise me to keep away from him for a while, give him chance to move on if he can. In the mean time I think I need some extra help, as I just have no will to live at the minute, as this whole situation has caused me so much stress and pain

Umm did she just hijack your post??

This is her post she got a little lost.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...te-185961.html