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-   -   Who is the more experienced lover? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=185899)

  • Feb 19, 2008, 01:42 PM
    FallenFromGrace
    Who is the more experienced lover?
    Do you think that you gain more sexual experience from having 1 or more long term relationships or do you think more experience is to be gained from many one night stands?
  • Feb 19, 2008, 01:46 PM
    smoothy
    You don't learn anything from one-night stands... because its over and they are gone before you get to understand what makes them tick.

    You will learn far more from a series of longer relationships. Assuming they are with the right person and you chose to learn from them. Not many people do.
  • Feb 19, 2008, 01:52 PM
    Synnen
    I'd say long term relationships help you know more about YOURSELF, which helps you to be a better lover--because you're less focused on YOU anymore, and more focused on the other person, which allows you to, in turn, learn more about pleasing another person.

    Honestly, though, I think that self-confidence, knowledge of yourself, an open mind, and a willingness to TALK about sex makes a person a better lover, whether they've had many partners or none.
  • Feb 19, 2008, 11:38 PM
    Choux
    For a woman, the best chance for developing a great orgasmic capacity is with a husband, according to a study I read.

    Fantastic sex is *not* sucking and manipulating genitals, *great sex* originates in a woman's brain. For most women, it is about a man's marital commitment which generates trust... the woman can feel more confident and relaxed and free to be adventurous!

    One night stands can be thrilling for a female who has already become a fully orgasmic woman.
  • Feb 19, 2008, 11:58 PM
    Alty
    In long term relationships you get to know one another and feel comfortable around each other. The more comfortable you are the more you are willing and able to share your feelings and ideas, the more you'll talk about your likes or dislikes and that in turn leads to better sex.
  • Feb 20, 2008, 03:05 PM
    anamia
    You can pick up some neat tricks from a one night stand, but you could just as easily get them from talking to your guy friends or reading Cosmo. Being a great lover is knowing that it's a marathon - not a sprint. Taking time with a lover and really understanding their needs and how to provide what they need takes time and attention and is only gained through experience with that particular partner. Think of the lovers you have had... they are all different... so next time the navy is in town, keep those knees together - stick with your significant lover and you will most likely have more significant sex.
  • Feb 20, 2008, 10:10 PM
    kp2171
    Long term relationships fail and succeed because they force you to face yourself.

    Anyone can screw like a banshee for a night.

    Honest truth is this... I think its mixed. I've learned different things from different lovers... and I've learned unique things from the strains, pains, and gains of long term relationships.

    So honey, I'm going to answer you with "yes"

    Each relationship teaches you about yourself. I am who I am in bed today not because of my 10 year relationship with my partner... it's the combination of that relationship plus all the others before her.

    Not trying to wuss out on you here. Its just not a black or white answer. Multiple partners have taught me about how different women can be physically, and long term partners have taught me how sex is just as much about sensuality and mental turn ons as it is about sexuality.

    Did I confuse you? Good. I'm a boy. I like to make girls cross-eyed. Its one of a few superpowers we have. Don't ask about the rest... you might blush.

    It takes effort, work, and planning to screw like a banshee after 10 years of marriage, a kid in the house, and a 1 hour window of opportunuty.

    I'm an arse from time to time. I like to hear myself say witty things and pretend that it means something. Hope you can get the truth from the noise.
  • Feb 21, 2008, 08:40 AM
    Alty
    KP- How did you manage to get 1 hour? I get 20 minutes tops, and that's on a good day. It seems that my kids sense when mommy and daddy need some "alone" time, they've got radar.

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