My husband said that I am driving him crazy. I want to be around him all the time. He said that I need to get a hobby, and develop some friends, but I don't know what I am interested in. What can I do?:confused:
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My husband said that I am driving him crazy. I want to be around him all the time. He said that I need to get a hobby, and develop some friends, but I don't know what I am interested in. What can I do?:confused:
What does he like to do, besides sit in front of the boob tube and drink beer all day? Is he interested in fishing? How about camping? Maybe bike riding? Heck, why not buy yourself a nice bike and go for long rides. Maybe hook up with some neighbors for a bike ride. Maybe the simple act of taking a long walk, or jogging. Lots of stuff to do that don't require a lot of money.
Balancing your life with other things besides him, may give him the space he asked for. Try it, you may enjoy it.
I know that would probably help, but I don't know what to do. I don't really enjoy doing anything without him there, and I don't know what interests that I have.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I started selling Mary Kay Make-up it gave me time with other women and a chance to get out of the house to do something I enjoy then I started meeting other women with home based businesses some of them also have full time jobs as well and still make some money on the side with their home business. You can try Mary Kay, Avon, Pampered Chief, Creative Memories scrapbooking (great if you have grandkids or young children) and a Taste of Home Entertainment. All are good companies with some great benefits.Quote:
Originally Posted by fishbrenda
Volunteer at a nursing home, hospital, school, animal shelter, horse rescue farm, public library. You will meet lots of people and find out what you like to do (and have stories to tell your husband).
Get a job. Sorry, I can't understand why you are unable to leave this poor guy alone for a minute and let him catch his breath. My young cousin is the same way, her boyfriend can't even go to seven eleven for 5 minutes without her bursting into tears "Why don't you want to be with me, I can't believe your leaving for five minutes." She ends up being mad at him the rest of the night, now he's so fed up that he's thinking of leaving her.
If you don't have any interests than maybe you should take a course like pottery or an art class or something. You need to find yourself and stop expecting him to be around all the time to make you happy. Everyone needs some breathing room, this isn't healthy.
Fishbrenda- I know I could have been nicer, but having dealt with my cousin over the very same issue, I've tried the nice route and it doesn't work. I honestly don't mean to hurt your feelings, what I'm trying to do is the equivalent of slapping someone when they are having a fit. Sometimes it takes a bit of harsh reality to get someone to see the bigger picture. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Take care.
I think you lack confidence in yourself. It amazes me that you do not know what interests you have! Didn't you have any hobbies before you met your husband? How did you used to spend your spare time?
Try doing something creative, if there's nothing that interests you then try reading, pottery classes, cooking classes, any sports, workout... there are thousand things. Then see which one holds your most attention and then pursue that.
And your statement - "I dont really enjoy doing anything without him there" makes sense, as doing something together is very healthy for the relationship, but at the same time you do not want to become a creeper plant which cannot grow without a tree's support.
Are you interested in returning to school? The technical schools in the US seem to be getting much better. Find a skill or hobby you are interested in and have some fun with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by fishbrenda
I think its safe to say your marriage depends on you finding out what your interests are. No excuses.Quote:
Originally Posted by fishbrenda
If YOU don't know what YOU like, how do you expect us to tell you?!
You will love it if you find your own interests. There are SO many things you can do.
1. Join a gym and work out.
2. Go to a craft store and sign up for classes.
3. Find adult education places like the Learning Annex or a local community group that offers classes.
4. Look into traveling for a day trip or a weekend. It's fun when you go off by yourself.
5. Join a reading group or a hobby group.
6. Take up a hobby like photography or painting... things you can do while going places.
7. Make a "me" night once a week where you take a bubble bath, give yourself a mani/pedi and crawl into bed with a good book... learn to pamper yourself and give yourself attention.
8. Journal and spend some time with your own thoughts and ideas.
9. There are all kinds of groups on meetup.com to join... even if you don't join any in your area you can go there and get ideas of what kinds of groups and activities are out there.
10. BE GOOD TO YOU. Think of things that you really want to do and do them!!
Some great advise and ideas here. Lucky for me, my husband usually prefers to be with me. Before I met him, anti-depressants helped me to get out and do stuff besides work. Some of the advise may be too much like "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is you are suffering from clinical depression. Try things out. If you don't feel great doing things, see a psychiatrist and tell her what's going on. Being depressed does not mean that you're crazy, but you may need medication.
If she is depressed than she definitely needs to get help for that. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm on antidepressants, I started when my mother was diagnosed with cancer and haven't stopped because since that time people seem to be dropping like flies around me.
If you aren't depressed and are just needy or clingy than you need to get help with that too. Maybe there is an underlying problem that you need to discover before you can stop this behavior.
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